Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific details. Avoid filler words and correct plural/number forms. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, “there are” → “there are two types: ...”).

例: Yes, there are several tall buildings near my home. For example, there are high-rise apartment blocks and a couple of office towers about 15 stories high. The apartments are residential, while the office buildings house various companies.

提案: Answer directly and give a clear reason with specific examples. Avoid repeating the question and eliminate hesitations. Use linking words like “but” or “however” to contrast what you do photograph.

例: No, I usually don't take photos of buildings because they don't interest me that much. Instead, I photograph residential scenes and the surrounding environment, such as tree-lined streets, balconies, and how light falls on apartment façades.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and add specific details about the building and the memories it evokes. Use linking words like “because” and “for example” to make your answer coherent. Mention what aspects you want to see or do there.

例: Yes, I would love to visit the old community center near my childhood home because it holds many happy memories. For example, I used to attend summer classes there and I want to see the playground and the mural that inspired me as a child.

提案: Start with a direct statement, correct small grammar mistakes, and give specific reasons with one or two supporting details. Use linking words such as “because” or “so” to clarify your motivations.

例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building, ideally a penthouse, because I enjoy the views of the city. For example, I imagine watching sunrises and sunsets from a rooftop terrace and spending evenings there with my family.

× Yes, there are few tall buildings near my home and there are two types of buildings which is uh commercial apartment and other is a company which is which are two store uh 15 storage and others are is.

✓ Yes, there are a few tall buildings near my home, and there are two types of buildings: commercial apartment buildings and companies; some have two stories and others have fifteen stories.

The speaker incorrectly mixes singular and plural forms and uses articles improperly. 'There are few' should be 'there are a few' to indicate some buildings. 'Two types of buildings which is' should be 'two types of buildings: ...' because 'types' is plural, so the verb and following nouns must be plural ('apartment buildings'). Phrases like 'two store uh 15 storage' are unclear; likely intended 'two-storey' and 'fifteen-storey' or 'two stories' and 'fifteen stories'. Use consistent plural nouns and correct count-word + noun forms. Suggestion: decide singular/plural for each noun and use appropriate quantifiers and hyphenated adjectives (two-storey, fifteen-storey) or 'two stories/fifteen stories.'

× No, I don't take photos of buildings because I don't get fascinated about taking photos of buildings.

✓ No, I don't take photos of buildings because I am not fascinated by taking photos of buildings.

The verb 'fascinated' requires the preposition 'by' (fascinated by something), not 'about.' Also 'get fascinated' is less natural than 'am fascinated.' Use correct preposition and a natural verb form. Suggestion: use 'interested in' or 'fascinated by.'

× What I do, I take pictures of the apartments, uh, the environmental, umm, scenario and the enlargements of the buildings apartment.

✓ What I do is take pictures of apartments, the surrounding environment, and close-up details of the apartment buildings.

The original sentence has awkward structure and unclear nouns ('environmental scenario', 'enlargements of the buildings apartment'). Use a clearer structure: 'What I do is ...' and list items in parallel form. Replace vague phrases with standard collocations like 'surrounding environment' and 'close-up details.' Ensure parallelism in the list.

× Yes, there is a building that I would love to visit because the building gets me through the memories of my childhood and I love to revisit again and again to that building.

✓ Yes, there is a building that I would love to visit because it brings back memories of my childhood, and I love to revisit it again and again.

Problems include awkward use of 'gets me through the memories' and incorrect preposition 'to that building.' Use 'bring back memories' and refer back with pronoun 'it.' Also 'revisit again and again to that building' should be 'revisit it again and again' (no 'to'). These changes correct sentence flow and preposition use.

× Actually, that's not bad idea at all. I want to leave my future life in a penthouse.

✓ Actually, that's not a bad idea at all. I want to live my future life in a penthouse.

Missing article 'a' before 'bad idea' is an article error (22) but also affects adjective phrase; additionally 'leave my future life' is incorrect verb choice—should be 'live my future life.' Use 'a bad idea' and the verb 'live' for residence. Suggestion: use correct article and appropriate verb for living.

× Like I can see the whole city and the sunset and sunrise together with my family.

✓ For example, I could see the whole city and watch the sunrise and sunset together with my family.

Beginning with 'Like' as a filler is informal; replace with 'For example' or rephrase. Use consistent verbs: 'see the whole city' and 'watch the sunrise and sunset.' Also use 'could' for hypothetical desire or 'can' if speaking of present ability. Suggestion: avoid fillers and use clear verbs for viewing events.

× Yeah, that's my wish.

✓ Yes, that's my wish.

'Yeah' is informal; replace with 'Yes' in a formal or neutral register. The sentence itself is otherwise correct. Suggestion: use 'Yes' in tests or formal speech.