Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words and unclear references, and give one specific reason or detail. Use linking words if adding information.

例: No, there aren't any tall buildings near my home. I live in a rural part of Vermont where most houses are low-rise. Moreover, the local community prioritizes preserving natural landscapes, so new high-rises are not built.

提案: Keep answers relevant and coherent. Begin with a simple direct response, then give one or two specific details about when or why you take photos. Avoid mixing unrelated place names and reduce repetition.

例: Yes, I often take photos of buildings, especially when I visit cities. For example, when I travel to Dubai I photograph skyscrapers at sunset because the light creates striking reflections on the glass facades.

提案: Be specific and accurate about reasons. Start with a clear topic sentence naming the building, then explain one or two clear reasons using concrete words rather than vague terms like "Symphony."

例: Yes, I would like to visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris. I find its iron lattice structure fascinating, and I’d love to see the panoramic views of the city from the top and learn about its history and construction.

提案: Answer directly and expand with a clear reason. Use correct tense and avoid repetition. Give one specific detail about what appeals to you and how it would affect your daily life.

例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building. My dream is to live in New York in a high-rise apartment because I enjoy having wide city views and easy access to shops and public transport.

× No, I live in Vermont, which is not uh and Aman is known by its that one don't have any high buildings because we care about the environment so much more than the tall buildings and these things.

✓ No, I live in Vermont, which does not have any tall buildings because we care about the environment more than tall buildings.

The original sentence has several sentence structure problems: unclear phrases ('not uh and Aman is known by its that one'), incorrect contraction 'don't' for 'doesn't' with singular subject, and redundant wording. I simplified the clause to a clear relative clause 'which does not have any tall buildings' and removed unnecessary words. Suggestion: keep subject and verb agreement (Vermont... does not), avoid filler words, and state one idea per clause. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× So we often go to Dubai, which is known for tall buildings and the city, the city wives.

✓ So we often go to Dubai, which is known for its tall buildings and city life.

The phrase 'the city, the city wives' is incorrect and unclear. 'City life' is the correct noun phrase; also possessive 'its' matches 'Dubai'. Suggestion: use 'its' for possession and choose the appropriate noun phrase ('city life') for clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 27

× So I really like cities and I take photos every day of the evening.

✓ So I really like cities and I take photos every evening.

The phrase 'every day of the evening' is ungrammatical. 'Every evening' or 'every day' are standard adverbial phrases. I used present simple 'take' to match habitual action. Suggestion: use standard time expressions ('every evening') for habitual present actions. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× I would like to to visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris. I think it's very interesting and even though it's just a tower and small, yeah it seems small compared to other buildings, but it catch my intention because of Symphony.

✓ I would like to visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris. I think it's very interesting; even though it's just a small tower compared to other buildings, it catches my attention because of its design.

Multiple issues: duplicate 'to', adjective order and placement ('just a small tower' not 'just a tower and small'), verb form 'catch' needs third-person singular 'catches', and 'attention' not 'intention'; 'Symphony' likely incorrect word — I replaced with 'design' which fits context. Also added possessive 'its'. Suggestion: watch infinitive duplication, use correct adjective order, ensure subject-verb agreement, and choose accurate vocabulary. Grammar problem type ID: 8

× Yeah, living in tall building was forever my dream.

✓ Yeah, living in a tall building has always been my dream.

The original uses past tense 'was' with 'forever', which is awkward; present perfect 'has always been' correctly expresses a continuing desire. Also need the article 'a' before 'tall building'. Suggestion: use present perfect for situations that started in the past and continue to the present, and include appropriate articles. Grammar problem type ID: 5

× Like my biggest dream is to visit New York and live there in a huge apartment and a tall building to have a view of the city.

✓ My biggest dream is to visit New York and live there in a huge apartment in a tall building so I can have a view of the city.

Preposition placement was awkward: 'live there in a huge apartment and a tall building' separated related nouns. I combined them with 'in a huge apartment in a tall building' and clarified purpose with 'so I can have'. Suggestion: place prepositions to show clear relationships and use purpose clauses ('so I can') when explaining reasons. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× Yes, as I said, I live in South Wales, Vermont, especially Shinawatra, which is the nearest place to the UAE.

✓ Yes, as I said, I live in South Wales, Vermont, especially Shinawatra, which is the nearest place to the UAE from here.

The original sentence is unclear about reference; adding 'from here' clarifies the comparison. If the student meant that Shinawatra is the nearest to the UAE relative to other places they know, specify the reference point. Suggestion: clarify pronoun or reference context when stating comparisons. Grammar problem type ID: 12