Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문법과 어휘 선택을 정리하세요. 명확한 주제문을 사용하고 반복이나 불필요한 말은 줄이세요. 예: 'There are several tall buildings near my home'처럼 간단히 말한 뒤, 구체적으로 건물의 용도(레스토랑, 쇼핑몰 등)를 덧붙이세요. 또한 'wooded towers'는 부적절한 표현이므로 'wooded' 대신 'wooden'이나 상황에 맞게 'modern' 등을 사용하세요.

例: Yes, there are several tall buildings near my home. They are mostly modern towers that contain restaurants and shopping malls, so I often go there to eat or shop.

提案: 말을 더 자연스럽고 간결하게 만드세요. 불필요한 'umm'과 반복을 줄이고 이유와 한두가지 구체적 예를 덧붙이세요. 시작에 명확한 주제문을 말한 뒤 linking word로 이유를 연결하세요.

例: Yes, I do. I enjoy photographing large buildings because their shapes and details are striking; for example, I often take pictures of the main city tower when I visit downtown.

提案: 시제와 문장 구조를 정확히 사용하세요. 'Yesterday'는 방문 의도를 말할 때 부적절하므로 제거하세요. 방문하고 싶은 이유(예: 전망, 건축)와 관련 경험을 시간 순으로 정리해 말하세요.

例: Yes, I would like to visit Namsan Tower because I enjoy climbing and the tower offers great views of the city. Last week I saw photos of it and I was very impressed.

提案: 불분명한 표현을 명확히 하세요. 'Voltage'와 같은 잘못된 단어를 사용하지 말고, 원하는 이유와 구체적인 수준(예: 층수)을 간단한 문장으로 말하세요. 주제문→이유→구체적 수치 순으로 구성하세요.

例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall, magnificent building because the higher floors offer better views and more privacy. Ideally, I would live above the sixtieth floor.

× Yes there are.

✓ Yes, there are.

The sentence needs a comma after 'Yes' for natural spoken punctuation; grammatically the phrase 'Yes, there are' is correct to respond to 'Are there tall buildings near your home?'. Suggestion: write 'Yes, there are.' and ensure punctuation after interjections.

× There are wooded towers nearby my house there.

✓ There are tall buildings near my house.

The student used 'nearby my house there' which is ungrammatical. 'Nearby' is an adverb or adjective and should be followed by 'my house' without an extra 'there'. Also 'wooded towers' is unlikely; 'tall buildings' fits the question. Suggestion: use 'near my house' or 'nearby my house' (better: 'near my house') and avoid redundant 'there'.

× They have have many restaurants and shop shopping malls in there.

✓ They have many restaurants and shopping malls there.

Errors: duplicated 'have', wrong word order 'shop shopping malls', and redundant 'in there'. Correct structure: 'They have many restaurants and shopping malls there.' Suggestion: remove duplicates and use 'shopping malls' as the noun phrase, placing 'there' at end if needed.

× I like to watch some huge buildings, umm, for example, uh, the tower, uh, is really huge and amazing when I see that.

✓ I like looking at large buildings. For example, the tower looks really huge and amazing when I see it.

Use of verbs: 'like to watch some huge buildings' is unnatural; 'look at' or 'look' is better. 'the tower ... is really huge' needs subject-verb agreement and pronoun 'it' instead of 'that'. Suggestion: use 'I like looking at' and 'it' for referencing previously mentioned singular nouns.

× Yesterday is I would like to visit Namton Tower.

✓ Yesterday I said I would like to visit Namton Tower.

Original mixes past time marker 'Yesterday' with present modal 'I would like' and erroneous 'is'. Correct: 'Yesterday I said I would like to visit...' or simply 'I wanted to visit Namton Tower yesterday.' Suggestion: choose appropriate tense and remove 'is'.

× Umm I like climbing climb.

✓ I like climbing.

Redundant words 'climb' and incorrect form. After 'like' we can use gerund: 'like climbing'. Suggestion: use either 'I like to climb' or 'I like climbing'.

× I like to climb mountain and I have watched Namsan tower for picture last week and it it is really impressive to me.

✓ I like to climb mountains, and I took a picture of Namsan Tower last week. It was really impressive to me.

Multiple issues: 'climb mountain' needs plural 'mountains' or 'a mountain'. 'have watched Namsan tower for picture last week' incorrectly uses present perfect with time marker 'last week' and wrong verb 'watched' and phrase 'for picture'. Better: 'I took a picture of Namsan Tower last week.' Also duplicated 'it it'. Use past tense 'was' for impression. Suggestion: use simple past with specific time expressions and correct collocation 'take a picture'.

× I want to live in a magnificent building. Umm, and it would be umm, the top.

✓ I want to live in a magnificent building, preferably on one of the top floors.

Original 'it would be the top' is vague and ungrammatical. Use modal/phrasing 'preferably on one of the top floors' to express desire about location in building. Suggestion: use clear modal expressions or modifiers to indicate preference.

× Voltage umm over than sixty floor.

✓ It would be on a floor over sixty stories high.

'Voltage' is incorrect word choice. 'over than' is wrong; correct is 'over' or 'more than'. 'sixty floor' should be 'sixty floors' or 'sixty stories'. Suggestion: say 'on a floor over sixty stories' or 'on a floor higher than the sixtieth'.