Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more concise and correct small grammar errors. Begin with a clear topic sentence, use one or two supporting details, and avoid repetition. Fix subject-verb agreement and small phrasing issues.

例: Yes, there are a few tall buildings near my home. Most are apartment blocks and an office tower, and a large shopping mall is about a ten-minute walk away. I often go to the mall at weekends because it is convenient for shopping and services.

提案: Be more specific and correct word choice and tense. Use linking words to connect your reason and example. Clarify unclear phrases (e.g. "the hunter in a nearby door"). Provide one clear example and describe what you liked in more detail.

例: Yes, I sometimes photograph buildings because I find architectural design fascinating, especially historical details. For example, last month I photographed an old doorway nearby and focused on the wooden panel and its carved motifs because the craftsmanship was very detailed.

提案: Use consistent tense and avoid implying you already visited if you mean future. Keep it concise and add a linking phrase to connect interest and purpose. Replace unclear term "skylight shots" with more common phrasing.

例: I would like to visit the Eiffel Tower because it is an iconic landmark and the panoramic views from the top must be spectacular. Since I enjoy photography, I would go in the evening to capture the city lights and take shots of the skyline from different angles.

提案: Correct grammar and improve cohesion. Start with a clear direct answer, use linking words to contrast negatives and positives, and fix subject-verb agreement and word choice (e.g. "unusually less" → "less"). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: I wouldn't prefer living in a very tall building because being so high makes me feel uneasy and there would be less outdoor space. However, it could be convenient for commuting, and if the building offered good facilities and a pleasant balcony, I might consider living there.

× I sometimes go to the mall on weekends so the building are so useful for shopping and services.

✓ I sometimes go to the mall on weekends, so the buildings are very useful for shopping and services.

The noun 'building' should be plural ('buildings') to match 'are'. Also 'so useful' is informal and 'very useful' is more natural; add a comma before 'so' linking two independent clauses.

× There are mostly apartment blocks and an office tower, and one big shopping mall is about a 10 minute walk away.

✓ There are mostly apartment blocks and an office tower, and one big shopping mall is about a 10-minute walk away.

When describing a duration used as an adjective before a noun, hyphenate '10-minute'. This is a punctuation/quantifier formatting issue to make the phrase grammatically correct.

× For example, last month I photographed the hunter in a nearby door while I was visiting.

✓ For example, last month I photographed theHunter in a nearby doorway while I was visiting.

The original contains word choice errors: 'door' is incorrect for opening; 'doorway' is the correct noun. If 'hunter' is a statue or sign, capitalize or clarify; otherwise it's likely a typo. Adjusted to make noun forms fit the context.

× I focus on the wood and carvings.

✓ I focused on the wood and carvings.

The surrounding context uses past tense ('last month I photographed... while I was visiting'), so 'focus' should be past tense 'focused' to maintain tense consistency.

× I'm keen on photography so I go up in the evening to capture the city lights and some skylight shots from different angles.

✓ I'm keen on photography, so I go up in the evening to capture the city lights and some skyline shots from different angles.

Replace 'skylight' (incorrect word) with 'skyline' which is the correct noun for city view. Added a comma before 'so' for clarity. Verb tense 'go up' is acceptable as a habitual present.

× While I wouldn't prefer living in a very tall buildings because being so high makes me feel uneasy and gets unusually less outdoor space, it can be convenient for commuting.

✓ While I wouldn't prefer living in a very tall building because being so high makes me feel uneasy and results in unusually little outdoor space, it can be convenient for commuting.

Change 'buildings' to singular 'building' after 'a very tall'. 'Gets unusually less outdoor space' is ungrammatical; use 'results in unusually little outdoor space' for clarity and correct adjective usage ('little' with uncountable 'outdoor space').

× If a tall building offer good facility and a nice balcony where I could relax, I might consider.

✓ If a tall building offers good facilities and a nice balcony where I could relax, I might consider it.

The verb must agree with the singular subject: use 'offers' not 'offer'. 'Facility' should be plural 'facilities' to refer to multiple amenities. Add 'it' at the end to complete the sentence and 'consider' needs an object.