Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid fillers (um, uh) and unclear descriptions. Use linking words (for example, because) to connect ideas and include precise facts (e.g., the building name and its feature).

例: Yes. There are many tall buildings near my home because I live in Ho Chi Minh City, the largest city in Vietnam. For example, Landmark 81 is nearby and it is one of the tallest buildings in the country.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific reasons with linking words. Remove repetition and improve grammar (e.g., "they are beautiful and impress me"). Use precise phrasing for purpose (to preserve memories) and avoid vague claims.

例: Yes, I often photograph tall buildings at night because their lights look beautiful. For example, I take pictures of Landmark 81’s illuminated facade to remember special evenings and share them with friends.

提案: Answer directly and include specific details and correct grammar. Use linking words to add reasons (for example, because, and). Avoid exaggerated or unrealistic claims like "taste all of them"; instead say "try several". Keep to two to three sentences.

例: Yes. I would like to visit Landmark 81 because it offers stunning rooftop views of the city. It also has several five‑star restaurants, and I would like to try some of them.

提案: State your position clearly, then support it with two specific and grammatically correct reasons. Avoid vague or incorrect phrases (e.g., "Tang building") and filler words. Use linking words such as "because" and "also" to join ideas coherently.

例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building because it would provide a beautiful view and better ventilation. Additionally, modern high‑rise apartments often have good facilities and a quiet environment, which I prefer.

× Yes, they are. Umm, there are a lot of tall buildings near my home because I'm living in the biggest city in Vietnam.

✓ Yes, there are. Umm, there are a lot of tall buildings near my home because I live in the biggest city in Vietnam.

Used present continuous 'I'm living' incorrectly for a habitual/static situation; use simple present 'I live' to state where you reside. Also 'Yes, they are' is unnatural for existence; use 'Yes, there are' to agree with 'tall buildings' (existence statement). Use consistent present simple for general facts.

× Uh, it's named Ho Chi Minh City.

✓ Uh, it's called Ho Chi Minh City.

'Named' is not wrong but 'called' is more natural when stating the common name. No article is needed before proper noun 'Ho Chi Minh City.' This change improves naturalness rather than grammar class error.

× Umm, we have one of the largest uh, building in Vietnam named like 81 people live there and there's a lot of.

✓ Umm, we have one of the largest buildings in Vietnam; for example, Building 81 houses many people.

Singular 'building' should be plural 'buildings' after 'one of the largest.' The original sentence fragment 'named like 81 people live there and there's a lot of' is ungrammatical and unclear; rephrase to 'for example, Building 81 houses many people' to convey meaning. Use clearer quantifiers like 'many' instead of 'a lot of' when followed by noun structure.

× Yes I do uh, you know, tall buildings often have beautiful lights in the dark, especially in the middle of the night.

✓ Yes, I do. You know, tall buildings often have beautiful lights at night, especially around midnight.

'In the dark' is awkward; use 'at night.' 'In the middle of the night' suggests very late hours; 'around midnight' is clearer if intended. Maintain simple present 'often have' for habitual actions.

× So I usually take photos of them because I I like them and I want to keep great memory last forever.

✓ So I usually take photos of them because I like them and I want to keep great memories forever.

Duplicate 'I' is a mistake. 'Great memory' should be plural 'great memories' or 'a great memory' depending on meaning; use plural for general collecting of memories. 'Keep memories forever' is natural; remove 'last' which is unnecessary. Use simple present 'want' for desire.

× Additionally, they also beautiful and impressed me.

✓ Additionally, they are beautiful and impressive to me.

Missing verb 'are' required with adjective 'beautiful.' 'Impressed me' is past tense and wrong form; use adjective 'impressive' with 'to me' to describe effect, or 'they also impress me' (present tense verb). Maintain present simple for ongoing impressions.

× Yes, there is. I want to visit the landmark 81, which is the tallest building in Ho Chi Minh City.

✓ Yes, there is. I want to visit Landmark 81, which is the tallest building in Ho Chi Minh City.

'the landmark 81' is awkward; proper name 'Landmark 81' is a title and should be capitalized and used without extra article. This is a naming/usage correction under 'there be' and article use.

× It has a very beautiful view from the rooftop.

✓ It has a very beautiful view from the rooftop.

Sentence is grammatically correct; kept same. 'Very beautiful' is stylistically redundant but acceptable. No change needed.

× Uh, additionally, it's also have five star restaurants and I want to taste all of them.

✓ Uh, additionally, it also has five-star restaurants and I want to try them all.

Subject 'it' requires 'has' not 'have' (subject-verb agreement). 'Five star' should be hyphenated 'five-star' when used as adjective. 'Taste all of them' is awkward for eating at restaurants; 'try them all' is more natural. Use simple present 'has' for facts.

× Yes, I do, because I want to enjoy fresh air and beautiful view from tall building.

✓ Yes, I do, because I want to enjoy fresh air and a beautiful view from a tall building.

Missing articles: 'a beautiful view' and 'a tall building' are needed. Use simple present for general desires. Adding articles makes the noun phrases grammatical.

× Additionally, Tang building also equipped with high facilities and umm, the peaceful environment.

✓ Additionally, Tang Building is also equipped with high-quality facilities and a peaceful environment.

Missing verb 'is' needed for passive 'is equipped.' 'High facilities' is unidiomatic; use 'high-quality facilities.' 'The peaceful environment' needs an article 'a' for 'a peaceful environment.' Capitalize proper name 'Tang Building.'

× Yeah, so I really like uh, to live in tall buildings.

✓ Yeah, so I would really like to live in tall buildings.

Infinitive usage 'like to live' is fine, but conversational 'I really like to live' sounds odd for a future preference; 'I would really like to live' expresses desire more naturally. Alternatively, 'I really like living in tall buildings' if speaking of general preference. Use consistent verb form; remove filler 'uh.'