Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, correct pronunciation and grammar, and organize answer with a clear topic sentence and one or two specific details. Avoid repetition and irrelevant words. Use linking words (e.g., "but", "also") correctly.

例: Not near my home — there aren’t any tall buildings nearby. However, about 20 kilometres south of my house there is a district with many high-rise towers. Also, in the city centre we have the CN Tower, which is the most prominent landmark.

提案: This answer is mostly clear and directly answers the question. Improve fluency by removing fillers ("Uh") and expand with a brief reason or example using linking words (e.g., "because", "so").

例: Usually not, because I prefer photographing mountains and scenic roads. For example, I often take photos during hikes to capture the landscape and winding routes.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, correct grammatical errors, and add one specific reason or detail about why you want to visit. Avoid repetition and awkward phrases (e.g., "that's the right now").

例: I would like to visit the Burj Khalifa in Dubai because it is currently the tallest building in the world. I’m interested in seeing the observation deck and experiencing the hotels and restaurants inside the tower.

提案: Structure the answer with a clear topic sentence and give one or two concise reasons. Fix grammar ("prefer to live in a house", "townhouses are smaller") and avoid unclear statements like "we couldn't able to see everything from there." Use linking words ("because", "so") to connect ideas.

例: No, I wouldn’t. I prefer living in a small house away from crowded areas because it feels quieter and more private. Also, townhouses suit my lifestyle better than high-rise apartments.

× Near my home, they're not Tom buildings, but whenever I'm going to the South of my city, about 20 kilometers away from my house to the South, they're all really tall, tall buildings over there.

✓ Near my home, there aren't tall buildings, but whenever I go to the south of my city, about 20 kilometers from my house, there are really tall buildings there.

The original sentence misused the pronoun 'they're' to refer to 'tall buildings' in a confusing way and included 'Tom' which seems incorrect. Also 'whenever I'm going to the South of my city' uses an awkward continuous form; use simple present for habitual actions ('I go'). Use 'there aren't' for negative existence and 'there are' for existence. Remove redundant words and correct capitalization of 'south'.

× And even in the center of in, even in Toronto, there's a CN Tower reset that's the tallest building as well.

✓ And even in the center of Toronto, there's the CN Tower, which is the tallest structure there.

The phrase 'center of in' is ungrammatical and 'CN Tower reset' is incorrect. Use 'the center of Toronto' and 'the CN Tower' with the definite article. Use a relative clause 'which is' to add the information that it is the tallest structure.

× Usually not. Uh, I don't like to take photos of the buildings, but I love to take the photos of the mountains and the scenic roads.

✓ Usually not. I don't like to take photos of buildings, but I love to take photos of mountains and scenic roads.

The definite article 'the' is unnecessary before plural, general nouns like 'buildings', 'mountains' and 'scenic roads' when speaking generally. Remove 'the' to refer to these categories in general. Also remove filler 'Uh' for clarity.

× I love to visit Burj Khalifa in Dubai. That's the right now. That's the tallest building of the world and there are hotel restaurants in the business reservations over there as well.

✓ I would love to visit the Burj Khalifa in Dubai. Right now, it's the tallest building in the world, and there are hotels, restaurants, and business facilities there as well.

Use 'the Burj Khalifa' with the definite article because it is a unique named building. 'I love to visit' is better as 'I would love to visit' to indicate desire. 'That's the right now' is ungrammatical; use 'Right now, it's...'. Use 'in the world' not 'of the world'. 'Hotel restaurants in the business reservations' is incorrect noun choice and order; use 'hotels, restaurants, and business facilities'.

× I love to visit the building and stay over there.

✓ I would love to visit the building and stay there.

Use 'would love' for polite desire and remove the unnecessary 'over'. 'There' is sufficient; 'over there' is informal and repetitive after 'stay'.

× No, usually I prefer come houses away from the crowd and I'm not afraid of heights, but I personally do not prefer to live in a tall building because maybe it's my own preference that the townhouses are a little bit smaller and then we couldn't able to see everything from there.

✓ No. Usually I prefer to live in houses away from the crowd. I'm not afraid of heights, but I personally do not prefer living in a tall building because I prefer townhouses, which are a bit smaller, and we wouldn't be able to see everything from there.

The original has multiple problems: 'prefer come houses' is incorrect; use 'prefer to live in houses'. 'Couldn't able to see' is ungrammatical; use 'wouldn't be able to see'. Choose consistent verb forms: 'prefer living' or 'prefer to live' and use relative clause 'which are a bit smaller'. Remove 'maybe it's my own preference that' which is redundant.