Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Begin with a direct, concise topic sentence and add a specific detail to support it. Avoid vague phrasing like "my place" and reduce redundancy ("tall buildings" repeated). Use a linking word to make the sentence flow.

例: No, there aren't any tall buildings near my home because I live in a residential compound surrounded by trees and low-rise houses, so the skyline is mostly green rather than urban.

提案: Give a clearer, fuller answer with a reason and an example. Replace vague phrases like "new to me" with more specific contexts and use a linking word to connect reason and example.

例: Sometimes I take photos of buildings, especially if the architecture is interesting or the structure is new in my neighborhood; for example, I recently photographed a renovated library because of its glass facade.

提案: Start with a direct statement naming the building, then explain a specific reason and add a detail to make it vivid. Use linking words (e.g., "because", "for example") and avoid repeating simple words like "huge."

例: Yes, I would like to visit the Empire State Building because of its famous observation deck; for example, I want to see the panoramic view of New York City from the top at sunset.

提案: Answer directly, then give a concise and specific reason. Improve grammar (e.g., use "have lived" or "lived in" properly) and replace vague terms like "greens." Use a linking word to connect ideas.

例: No, I wouldn't want to live in a tall tower because I grew up in a rural area surrounded by trees and open fields, so I prefer low-rise housing with a garden and fresh air.

× There aren't any tall buildings near my place because I live in a compound where there are only trees.

✓ There aren't any tall buildings near my place because I live in a compound where there are only trees.

No article error in this sentence; keep as is. (Included because sentence is grammatically acceptable.)

× Sometimes I take photos when the building is new to me.

✓ Sometimes I take photos of buildings that are new to me.

The original sentence uses 'when the building is new to me' which is slightly awkward. Use present simple and change structure to 'of buildings that are new to me' to make the object clear and natural. Keep present tense 'take'. Suggestion: 'Sometimes I take photos of buildings that are new to me.'

× There is one building that I like to visit. It's called the Empire State Building because it is huge and I want to go there.

✓ There is one building that I would like to visit. It's called the Empire State Building because it is huge and I want to go there.

The response to 'Is there a building that you would like to visit?' should use 'would like' to match the question's modal nuance. Changing 'like' to 'would like' better expresses desire. Other parts are fine.

× No, I don't want to live in tower buildings because since I was a child I lived in the rural area where you can see greens and trees.

✓ No, I don't want to live in tower buildings because since I was a child I have lived in a rural area where you can see greenery and trees.

Problems: 'since I was a child I lived' mixes past reference with present relevance; use present perfect 'have lived'. 'the rural area' is incorrect—use 'a rural area' for general reference. 'greens' is not a natural noun; use 'greenery'. Also 'tower buildings' is odd but acceptable; could use 'tall buildings' or 'towers'. Suggestions: use present perfect for ongoing state, use indefinite article and correct noun 'greenery'.