Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers, avoid fillers (um, boy), and give one or two specific supporting details. Mention examples and use linking words for coherence.

例: Yes. There are many tall buildings near my home because I live in Taipei, the capital of Taiwan. For example, there are several modern office towers and high-rise apartment blocks within a ten-minute walk, which makes the area very busy and convenient.

提案: Remove irrelevant or wrong words (e.g., 'ketchup'), keep answer coherent: give a direct yes/no, then one or two specific reasons and an example. Use linking words (for example, because) correctly.

例: Yes, I do. I enjoy photographing both contemporary and historic buildings because I appreciate their design and atmosphere. For example, when I visit Japan I like to photograph temples for their intricate details and peaceful surroundings.

提案: Answer directly, avoid repetition and grammar errors. Give a clear reason and a specific detail about the museum (what interests you) and use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I would like to visit the local Art Museum. Many students have recommended its modern exhibitions, and I hope to see the contemporary painting collection there because it is a major source of inspiration for my own artwork.

提案: Be more fluent and grammatically correct: start with a clear statement, then give specific reasons. Avoid fillers and vague phrasing ('some like'). Use linking words to clarify contrast.

例: No, I wouldn't. I prefer living in a one-story house because I like having my own private space and I enjoy the quiet and ease of maintaining a smaller home. Moreover, a single-level house feels more personal than a crowded high-rise.

× There are always so many, umm, hotel buildings, including the apartments.

✓ There are always so many hotels and apartment buildings.

The original mixes countable nouns awkwardly: 'hotel buildings' and 'the apartments' is unnecessary. Use plural countable nouns 'hotels' and 'apartment buildings' for clear plural reference and parallel structure. Suggestion: Use consistent noun forms and parallel structure when listing items (e.g., 'hotels and apartment buildings').

× For example, when I visit Japan, I often take photos of serene and beautiful temples because I love ketchup, their detailed designs and peaceful atmosphere.

✓ For example, when I visit Japan, I often take photos of serene and beautiful temples because I love their detailed designs and peaceful atmosphere.

The word 'ketchup' is inappropriate and appears to be a slip or wrong word; it breaks pronoun reference. Removing it restores the pronoun 'their' to refer to 'temples'. Suggestion: Proofread for accidental word insertions and ensure pronouns clearly refer to the intended noun.

× Yeah, there is the Art Museum that I would like to make a visit because many of the students highly recommend it and allow visit the Art Museum because they are always a main source of my inspiration.

✓ Yes, there is an art museum that I would like to visit because many students highly recommend it and it is always a major source of inspiration for me.

Problems: 'make a visit' is awkward; use 'visit'. 'Allow visit the Art Museum' is ungrammatical — 'allow' needs an object and infinitive or passive structure. Also article and word choice: 'the Art Museum' should be 'an art museum' unless specific, and 'a main source of my inspiration' is more natural as 'a major source of inspiration for me'. Suggestion: Use natural collocations ('visit', 'recommend'), correct article use, and avoid redundant phrases.

× Well, actually I don't prefer to live in tall building uh, instead I prefer living some like one story house umm, mainly because I prefer living alone to enjoy my own space instead of sharing.

✓ Well, actually I don't prefer to live in a tall building; instead, I prefer living in a one-story house, mainly because I prefer living alone to enjoy my own space rather than sharing.

Errors: missing articles 'a tall building' and 'a one-story house'. Preposition 'living some like one story house' is ungrammatical; use 'living in a one-story house'. Use 'rather than' for contrast instead of 'instead of' with 'sharing'. Suggestion: Use definite/indefinite articles with singular countable nouns and standard comparative connectors ('rather than') for clearer contrasts.