Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and organize your answer: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid hesitations, repetition and grammar errors (e.g., omit extra articles, use correct prepositions).

例: Yes. There are a few tall buildings near my home because we are close to the train and bus stations and near downtown. For example, a cluster of high-rises lines the main street, where offices and apartments are located.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and follow with one or two specific reasons or examples, using linking words. Fix sentence fragments and word order (e.g., 'high-rise' as adjective).

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing buildings, especially when their architecture is unique. For instance, I often shoot clusters of high-rise towers because their repeating lines and contrasts make striking compositions.

提案: Start with a direct response and then describe the building with specific details. Avoid repetition and use correct articles and counts (e.g., 'a museum, a restaurant'). Mention one or two features that explain why you want to visit.

例: Yes, I would like to visit Casa Loma in Toronto. It is an old castle that houses a museum and a restaurant, and I want to see the historic rooms and gardens because they offer a glimpse into the city's past.

提案: Answer directly and provide a clear, concise reason using correct tense and fewer hesitations. Avoid confusing time phrases ('yesterday wherein I I went') and finish your thought. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to connect cause and effect.

例: No, I wouldn't want to live in a tall building because I felt dizzy when I visited the 30th floor yesterday. Since then I have felt uncomfortable in elevators and prefer living closer to the ground for peace of mind.

× Oh from where I live I think there are a few tall buildings around my neighborhood be since we are located in the near train stations and bus stations and also we are almost near the the downtown.

✓ Oh, from where I live I think there are a few tall buildings around my neighborhood because we are close to the train and bus stations and also nearly near downtown.

Plural and article issues: 'the near train stations and bus stations' is awkward and redundant; 'we are located in the near train stations' incorrectly uses plural/location phrase. Use 'close to the train and bus stations' or 'close to train and bus stations'. Also remove duplicate 'the the' and change 'be since' to 'because' to form a correct cause clause. Ensure nouns agree with context: 'a few tall buildings' is correct plural form.

× Yes, I love taking photos of buildings, especially when the architecture is very unique and I prefer to take pictures of buildings that are high rise and. Are almost next to each other.

✓ Yes, I love taking photos of buildings, especially when the architecture is very unique, and I prefer to take pictures of high-rise buildings that are almost next to each other.

Incorrect split sentence and adjective formation: 'high rise' should be hyphenated as 'high-rise' when used as an adjective before a noun. The sentence was broken into 'and. Are almost' which is incorrect sentence structure. Combine clauses and use correct noun phrase 'high-rise buildings' followed by relative clause 'that are almost next to each other'.

× Of course, I like to visit the Casa Loma building, located in the heart of Toronto. It is an it is like an old castle that features a museum, some a restaurant and it has a wide parking lot.

✓ Of course, I would like to visit Casa Loma, which is located in the heart of Toronto. It is like an old castle that features a museum, a restaurant, and a large parking lot.

Article and redundancy issues: 'the Casa Loma building' is acceptable but 'Casa Loma' is the proper name; 'It is an it is like' is redundant and ungrammatical. 'Some a restaurant' is incorrect — choose 'a restaurant'. Use 'a large parking lot' instead of 'wide' for natural collocation. Also change 'I like to visit' to 'I would like to visit' if speaking about a desired visit; either is acceptable but 'would like' is more natural for preference.

× Definitely no, because I haven't experienced yesterday wherein I I went to the 30th floor of that building and during my elevator ride, I felt dizzy.

✓ Definitely not, because yesterday I went to the 30th floor of a building and during the elevator ride I felt dizzy.

Modal/phrase usage and tense clarity: 'Definitely no' should be 'Definitely not' to answer the question. 'I haven't experienced yesterday' mixes present perfect with a past time marker 'yesterday' — use simple past 'I went'. Remove 'wherein I I' duplication and simplify the clause. This restores correct tense and word order.

× And from the moment I stepped out of that elevator and I walked through the lobby, I, I feel like the world.

✓ And from the moment I stepped out of that elevator and walked through the lobby, I felt like the world was spinning.

Tense inconsistency and incomplete idea: The sentence begins in past ('stepped', 'walked') so the result should also be in past ('felt') not present ('feel'). 'I feel like the world' is incomplete; likely intended 'the world was spinning' or 'the world was moving'. Use past tense 'felt' and complete the simile for clarity.