Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and grammatical: give a clear topic sentence then one or two specific supporting details. Reduce fillers (um, uh) and correct basic grammar (e.g., “I live in China,” “there are very tall buildings,” “near my home”). Use one linking phrase to add detail.

例: Yes. I live in Shanghai, China, and there are many very tall buildings near my home. For example, my apartment is in a neighborhood with several 30‑storey towers, so I can see skyscrapers from my balcony every day.

提案: Answer directly and give a clear reason with a concise example. Avoid repeating words and filler sounds. Use correct verb forms (e.g., “I don't like taking photos of buildings” or “I don't usually take photos of buildings because…”).

例: No, I don't usually take photos of buildings because I don't feel confident in my photography skills. For instance, when I try to take pictures the compositions often look messy, so I prefer taking photos of friends instead.

提案: State the building clearly, then give specific reasons and one brief example. Use linking words (for example, because, such as) to organize your reply. Fix grammar (e.g., “I'm interested in its history,” “if a famous person lived there”).

例: Yes. I would like to visit an old historic building, such as the Bund Customs House in Shanghai, because I am interested in its long history and the events that took place there. For example, I want to see the architecture and learn whether any famous historical figures once lived or worked in the building.

提案: Give a clear position and support it with one or two specific reasons or an example. Correct sentence structure (e.g., “When I lived in Shanghai, I lived in an apartment in a tall building”). Avoid trailing off; finish your thought.

例: Yes. When I lived in Shanghai I lived in an apartment in a tall building, and I liked it because it was convenient: nearby shops and public transport were easy to reach. For example, my 12th‑floor flat had a great view and the subway station was a five‑minute walk away.

× Umm, uh, where are living in China, uh, there's buildings very tall.

✓ I live in China; there are very tall buildings.

The sentence misuses 'where are living' and 'there's buildings'. Use simple present 'I live' for habitual fact and 'there are' for plural noun 'buildings'. Also order 'very tall buildings' is correct adjective placement. Suggestion: Use 'I live in China' and 'there are' with plural nouns.

× So it, yes, it is tall building near my home.

✓ Yes, there is a tall building near my home.

The original mixes pronouns and omits the article 'a'. For singular countable nouns use 'there is a' + noun. Remove extraneous 'it' and reorder to 'Yes, there is a tall building near my home.' Suggestion: Use 'there is a' for singular countable nouns.

× Oh no, absolutely not. I'm not like to take the photo of building

✓ Oh no, absolutely not. I don't like taking photos of buildings.

'I'm not like to' is incorrect. Use 'I don't like' or 'I don't like to' and follow with gerund 'taking' for general preference. Use plural 'photos of buildings' for general statement. Suggestion: Say 'I don't like taking photos of buildings.'

× Yeah umm, the reason is that I I I feel I'm not a good go to the ability to take the beautiful or satisfied photos yeah.

✓ The reason is that I feel I don't have the ability to take beautiful or satisfying photos.

Pronoun repetition and awkward phrasing. Use 'I don't have the ability' instead of 'I'm not a good go to the ability'. Adjectives 'beautiful' and 'satisfying' modify 'photos'. Avoid filler words. Suggestion: Use clear subject-verb structure: 'I feel I don't have the ability to take beautiful photos.'

× Uh, I like, yes, there is a certain building I like to visit.

✓ Yes, there is a particular building I would like to visit.

'A certain building' is understandable but 'a particular building I would like to visit' is more natural. Use 'would like' for willingness/desire to visit. Suggestion: Use 'I would like to visit' to express preference.

× Umm, there is the building with long history and I'm interesting about it, about what has happened in the past.

✓ There is a building with a long history, and I'm interested in it, in what happened in the past.

Use article 'a' before 'long history'. Use adjective 'interested' not 'interesting' for the person's feeling. Preposition 'interested in' not 'interesting about'. Suggestion: Say 'a building with a long history' and 'I'm interested in it.'

× And there is whether there is a famous person who has lived in this building.

✓ And I wonder whether a famous person has lived in this building.

The original repeats 'there is' awkwardly and lacks the speaker's perspective. Use 'I wonder whether' to express curiosity and use present perfect 'has lived' to ask about lived experience up to now. Suggestion: Use 'I wonder whether' or 'I want to know whether'.

× I want to have a look and.

✓ I want to have a look at it.

Sentence is incomplete and missing object and preposition. Use 'have a look at' to indicate viewing something. Suggestion: Complete the sentence with the object: 'I want to have a look at it.'

× Yes, when I live in China my city is Shanghai and all my community was full of the tall building.

✓ Yes, I live in China; my city is Shanghai, and my neighborhood is full of tall buildings.

Use simple present 'I live' for current fact. 'All my community was' mixes past tense; use 'is' for current state. Use 'neighborhood' or 'community' and plural 'tall buildings'. Suggestion: Keep present tense consistent and use plural for multiple buildings.

× So I live in apartment umm which is the belongs to the tall building umm the actually can be.

✓ So I live in an apartment that is in a tall building.

Missing article 'an' before 'apartment'. 'Which belongs to the tall building' is awkward; use 'that is in a tall building'. Remove unclear ending 'the actually can be'. Suggestion: Use 'I live in an apartment in a tall building.'