Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce hesitation and streamline the answer. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid repeating filler words and correct the place name to 'Corniche' if appropriate.

例: No, there aren't many tall buildings near my home. However, along the Corniche by the seaside there are many high-rise hotels and apartments, which are popular with tourists.

提案: Be more concise and give one concrete detail about your hobby. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid repetitive phrases like 'take pictures' and 'collection'.

例: Yes. I enjoy photographing buildings as a hobby, and I keep a digital collection of architectural photos, especially of old facades and city parks.

提案: Clarify the building name and remove hesitations. Provide a clearer reason why you want to visit and use a linking word to add the time detail. Avoid unclear phrases like 'the boating'.

例: Yes. I would like to visit the new waterfront cultural center that is still under reconstruction because it will host exhibitions. It has been under construction for nearly two years, so I hope to see it once it opens.

提案: Make the answer more concise and use one linking word to explain your preference. Avoid redundant explanations and clarify '1st floor' (ground or first) if needed.

例: No, I wouldn't. I prefer living in a villa on the first floor because it's easier to access and feels more comfortable than high-rise apartments.

× there are not a lot of tall buildings near my home, umm, typically in my neighborhood, but uh, in the Cornish, the seaside of the city, there are lots of tall buildings and hotels.

✓ There are not a lot of tall buildings near my home, typically in my neighborhood, but in the Cornish seaside area of the city there are lots of tall buildings and hotels.

The original sentence misuses 'the Cornish, the seaside of the city' which is awkward and treats 'Cornish' as a noun; this is a plural/phrase clarity issue. 'Cornish' is an adjective; use 'Cornish seaside area' or 'the Cornish seaside' to make the noun phrase clear. Also remove redundant fillers and punctuation for grammatical clarity and correct plural noun usage for 'buildings and hotels' remains appropriate.

× Yes, I take various photos of buildings since, uh, this has been uh, a hobby of mine to take pictures and collect them in uh, umm, a collection that I have for buildings, parks, and lots of other things.

✓ Yes, I take various photos of buildings; this has been a hobby of mine — I take pictures and collect them in a collection of buildings, parks, and other things.

The original sentence is wordy and uses awkward verb forms and repetitions. The issue relates to present participle and gerund phrase use ('to take pictures and collect them in a collection') and sentence structure. Simplify to maintain present simple tense for habits and use clear gerund/infinitive structures. Remove filler words and redundant phrasing.

× The boating that I would like to visit is it's a building that's still in reconstructions.

✓ The building that I would like to visit is still under reconstruction.

'Boating' is incorrect here — seems to be a mis-saying for 'building'. 'It's a building that's still in reconstructions' is ungrammatical: 'reconstruction' is uncountable and the correct phrase is 'under reconstruction' or 'undergoing reconstruction'. This is an adjective/word choice and noun form error; correct to a standard passive idiom.

× Uh, it has been like that for almost two to three years and I would love to visit it once it's completely built.

✓ It has been like that for almost two or three years, and I would love to visit it once it is completely finished.

The present perfect 'has been' is acceptable for a state continuing to now. However 'completely built' is awkward; 'completely finished' or 'fully completed' is more natural. Also use 'two or three years' instead of 'two to three' for spoken clarity. Maintain tense consistency and prefer full forms for clarity.

× No, I would not like to live in a tall building, but currently I'm living in a villa and on the 1st floor so I think this is the maximum height I'd like to live in so I'm quite comfortable with it.

✓ No, I would not like to live in a tall building; currently I live in a villa on the first floor, so I think this is the maximum height at which I'd like to live, and I'm quite comfortable with it.

Use simple present 'I live' for current habitual or present state rather than progressive 'I'm living' unless temporary. Also 'on the 1st floor' should be 'on the first floor'; avoid numeric ordinal in normal text. 'Maximum height I'd like to live in' is awkward—use 'the maximum height at which I'd like to live'. Improve sentence connectors and punctuation for clarity.