Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence naming your favourite food, avoid fillers and unclear phrases (e.g., “applause from national foods”), and give one or two specific reasons. Use linking words like “because” or “for example.”

例: My favourite food is Pizza Margherita. I love it because of its fresh tomato sauce and gooey mozzarella, which give a simple but satisfying flavour. For example, I often order it when I want something light yet comforting.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence about what you liked as a child, avoid vague phrases like “I didn't know much dishes,” and be specific about one dish with concrete details and linking words (e.g., “because,” “also”). Avoid contradictions (refreshing vs. really spicy) by choosing precise descriptors.

例: When I was young, I liked French onion soup. I enjoyed it because the caramelised onions made the broth sweet and the melted cheese on top felt comforting. Also, the soup was mildly spiced, which kept it interesting without being too strong.

提案: Answer directly about seasonal variation: begin with a clear statement, reduce hesitations and repetitions, and give one or two specific examples of dishes or reasons why meals stay the same across seasons. Use linking words like “because” or “for example.”

例: Not really — in my village we eat mostly the same dishes all year round because local farmers grow the same vegetables each season. For example, we often make a simple stew and flatbread, which are eaten in both summer and winter.

提案: Give a clear comparison: start with a concise topic sentence saying whether your preference changed, then explain why with specific contrasts (taste, ingredients, occasions). Reduce filler words and repetition, and use linking words like “but,” “because,” or “now.”

例: Yes, my favourite food has changed. As a child I preferred French onion soup because I liked the herbal flavours and warm broth, but now I prefer Italian food — especially Pizza Margherita — because I love the fresh tomatoes and creamy mozzarella on a crisp crust.

× I know national and foreign cuisines, uh, and I, I mostly love applause from national foods.

✓ I know national and foreign cuisines, and I mostly love dishes from my national cuisine.

The student used 'applause from national foods' which is incorrect collocation: 'applause' does not fit here. Also 'national foods' is better expressed as 'my national cuisine' or 'dishes from my country'. Use 'dishes' for edible items and include a possessive or determiner for clarity. Suggested improvement: replace 'applause' with 'dishes' and specify 'my national cuisine'.

× And my favorite one, uh, my loved one from the international cuisine is pizza Margherita.

✓ And my favorite from international cuisine is Pizza Margherita.

Redundant phrasing 'my favorite one, my loved one' is incorrect; use a single clear noun phrase. Also 'international cuisine' does not need 'the'. Capitalize proper name 'Pizza Margherita'. Suggested improvement: remove redundancy and use 'my favorite from international cuisine'.

× It's really delicious.

✓ It is really delicious.

Contraction 'It's' is acceptable in speech but for clarity use full form 'It is'. This sentence itself is grammatically correct in present tense describing a general truth. Suggested improvement: ensure consistency in formality; no tense change needed.

× In my childhood I didn't know much dishes.

✓ In my childhood I didn't know many dishes.

Countable plural noun 'dishes' requires 'many' (not 'much'). Use 'many' with countable nouns. Also word order: it's natural to add a comma: 'In my childhood, I didn't know many dishes.' Suggested improvement: use 'many' with plural countable nouns.

× However I liked the French soup because it has a a nice refreshing touch and it is really spicy.

✓ However, I liked French onion soup because it had a nice, refreshing flavor and it was quite spicy.

If referring to a specific soup type, 'French onion soup' is idiomatic. When speaking about childhood preference, past tense should be used consistently: 'liked' pairs with 'had' and 'was'. Remove duplicated 'a'. 'Refreshing touch' is awkward; 'refreshing flavor' is clearer. Suggested improvement: use consistent past tense verbs and idiomatic dish names.

× I'm from the village.

✓ I'm from a village.

Without context, use the indefinite article 'a' to indicate any village. 'The village' implies a specific village previously mentioned. Use 'a village' for general origin. Suggested improvement: choose 'a village' unless a specific village has been identified.

× In the village, we don't have a specific uh, dishes for any seasons.

✓ In the village, we don't have specific dishes for any season.

'A specific dishes' mixes singular article with plural noun; remove 'a' and use 'specific dishes'. 'Seasons' should be singular in this context: 'for any season' or 'for any of the seasons'. Suggested improvement: match articles to noun number and prefer 'for any season'.

× We only, we, we only uh, cook four or five types of the dishes and we eat them.

✓ We only cook four or five types of dishes and eat them.

Repetition 'we, we' is disfluent; remove redundancy. 'Types of the dishes' should be 'types of dishes' without 'the'. Simplify sentence structure and keep verbs parallel: 'cook' and 'eat'. Suggested improvement: eliminate filler repetitions and unnecessary articles.

× They are not spicy, however, they are so delicious.

✓ They are not spicy; however, they are very delicious.

Use a semicolon or conjunction for proper sentence linking. 'So delicious' is colloquial and can be replaced by 'very delicious' or 'really delicious'. Ensure punctuation separates contrasting clauses. Suggested improvement: use 'very' or 'really' and correct punctuation.

× Yes, of course. When I was a child I loved the French onion soup because because of its refreshing touch of the herbs and as different spices.

✓ Yes, of course. When I was a child I loved French onion soup because of its refreshing herbal flavor and various spices.

Remove duplicated 'because'. Use past tense 'loved' with descriptive noun phrase in past context. 'Refreshing touch of the herbs' is awkward; 'refreshing herbal flavor' is clearer. 'As different spices' is incorrect — use 'various spices'. Suggested improvement: eliminate repetition and use idiomatic noun phrases.

× However, now I love Italian foods, especially Pizza Margherita for its, uh, mozzarella cheese.

✓ However, now I love Italian food, especially Pizza Margherita for its mozzarella cheese.

Use 'Italian food' (uncountable) rather than 'Italian foods' in general statements. Remove unnecessary comma before 'mozzarella' and filler 'uh'. The present tense 'love' is correct for present preference. Suggested improvement: use uncountable 'food' when speaking about a cuisine as a whole.