Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct small grammar/repetition issues. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repeating phrases like "it's" twice in a row and replace vague praise like "it's just perfect" with a brief reasoned conclusion.

例: My favourite food is Tachin, a traditional Iranian dish made with chicken, rice, eggs and saffron. Because of the saffron it has a strong, fragrant aroma, and the rice turns soft and slightly sweet, so the texture combines well with the savory chicken. For these reasons I enjoy it a lot.

提案: Reduce hesitations and repetitions, and structure the answer: a clear topic sentence followed by specific examples and a brief reason. Use linking words like 'for example' or 'because' to clarify. Avoid filler words ('like', 'you know').

例: When I was young I loved fast food in general. For example, I used to eat pizza once or twice a week and often had burgers as a daily meal because they were convenient and delicious. Because of that habit I rarely considered healthier options.

提案: Make the response more fluent and correct word choices (e.g., 'nutritions' → 'nutrients'). Give a brief structure: direct answer, reason, and one specific example of what you eat. Use linking words like 'however' to show contrast if needed.

例: Not really. Because of my busy and hectic schedule I focus on convenience and nutrition rather than seasonal variety. For example, I usually eat simple salads and grilled chicken year-round to ensure I get enough nutrients.

提案: Clarify and correct grammar (e.g., 'such kind of food' → 'that kind of food'; 'I feel they artificial sugar' → 'I can taste artificial sugar'). Provide a concise topic sentence, a reason, and a specific example of what you prefer now, using linking words for coherence.

例: Yes, my tastes have changed. I used to love pizza, but now I avoid fatty or overly sweet foods because I can taste artificial sugar and excessive fat. Therefore I prefer simple meals like boiled vegetables and grilled fish.

× My favorite food is Tachin, which is an Iranian traditional dish.

✓ My favorite food is Tachin, which is an Iranian traditional dish.

No change needed for article usage here; sentence is acceptable. (Included to show no article correction required.)

× It's and it's made of chicken, rice, eggs and saffron.

✓ It is made of chicken, rice, eggs, and saffron.

The original repeats 'it's and it's', which is a redundant and incorrect structure. Remove the extra 'and it's' to form a single correct clause. Also add a comma before the final item in the list for clarity. Suggestion: Avoid repeating auxiliary subjects; keep one clear clause.'

× And I really love it because it has a sweet taste and it looks like a cake, but there is a strong aroma of saffron, which is a great combination with the softness of rice and the taste of chicken.

✓ I really love it because it has a sweet taste and looks like a cake, but there is a strong aroma of saffron, which combines well with the softness of the rice and the taste of the chicken.

Use parallel structure: 'has a sweet taste and looks' (not 'has... and it looks'). Use 'combines well with' for a natural collocation rather than 'is a great combination with'. Add definite articles 'the' before 'rice' and 'chicken' because specific items are being referred to. Suggestion: Keep verbs parallel and use natural collocations like 'combines well with.'

× To be honest I was in love with fast foods and junk foods so I would eat usually one or two pizza per week or like I would have like burgers like once a day as a meal because it was just convenient and tasty.

✓ To be honest, I loved fast food and junk food, so I usually ate one or two pizzas per week or had burgers once a day because they were convenient and tasty.

'Fast food' and 'junk food' are uncountable or collective nouns; 'fast foods' is less natural. Use past simple 'loved' for a habitual past state. 'One or two pizza' is singular/plural mismatch; use 'pizzas'. Use past tense 'ate' and 'had' to match time frame. Replace 'it was' with 'they were' to agree with plural foods. Remove filler 'like'. Suggestion: Use correct plural forms for countable items and match verb tense for past habits.'

× So I would just go for it without thinking about.

✓ So I would just go for it without thinking about it.

The prepositional phrase 'thinking about' requires an object; add 'it' to complete the phrase. Position of 'just' is acceptable but ensure the verb phrase is complete. Suggestion: Always include the object of phrasal verbs like 'think about.'

× Not really, since I have a really busy schedule and I have really hectic lifestyle so I really don't think much about the food which I eat.

✓ Not really, since I have a very busy schedule and a hectic lifestyle, so I don't think much about the food I eat.

Use 'a hectic lifestyle' with the article 'a'. Avoid repeated 'really' for concision. Use 'very' for emphasis and present simple 'don't think' matches habitual present. Remove unnecessary 'which' — 'the food I eat' is more natural. Suggestion: Use articles with singular countable nouns and avoid repetitive adverbs.'

× I just try to keep it healthy and try to include all the nutritions in my meals.

✓ I just try to keep it healthy and include all the nutrients in my meals.

'Nutritions' is incorrect; use the plural noun 'nutrients' or the uncountable 'nutrition' depending on meaning. Remove the repeated 'try to' for concision. Use 'include all the nutrients' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: Use 'nutrients' when referring to specific beneficial substances in food.'

× But other than that I really don't care about the variety.

✓ But other than that, I don't really care about variety.

'The variety' is awkward here; 'variety' without an article is more idiomatic when speaking generally. Also move 'really' placement for natural flow. Suggestion: Use 'variety' without 'the' when referring generally to diversity.'

× Yes, when I was a child I was in love with pizza.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I was in love with pizza.

Sentence is correct; past tense appropriately used for a childhood preference. (Included to indicate no change needed.)

× However these days I am really trying to avoid such kind of food and due to that also my taste has changed.

✓ However, these days I am really trying to avoid that kind of food, and because of that my taste has changed.

Use 'that kind of food' rather than 'such kind of food.' Insert commas after introductory 'However' and before conjunction 'and'. Use 'because of that' or 'due to that' (but 'because of that' is more natural here) and remove 'also' which is redundant. Suggestion: Use correct phrases 'that kind of' and place commas after introductory adverbs.'

× Like I feel like if something is sweet I feel they artificial sugar in it too much or I feel too much fat in a food that I cannot really enjoy it.

✓ I feel that if something is sweet, it has too much artificial sugar, or if a food has too much fat, I cannot really enjoy it.

Original misuses pronouns and has awkward clauses. Replace 'they' with 'it has' for the uncountable 'artificial sugar.' Break into two conditional clauses for clarity. Avoid redundant 'like'. End clause without extra 'it' after 'enjoy.' Suggestion: Use clear subject-verb structures in conditional sentences and match pronouns to singular/uncountable nouns.'

× I prefer more simple meals these days.

✓ I prefer simpler meals these days.

Use comparative adjective 'simpler' not 'more simple'. 'Simpler meals' is concise and idiomatic. Suggestion: Use the comparative form 'simpler' rather than 'more simple' for common adjectives.'