Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., "I love eating so much" and "I cannot say one food is my favorite" are redundant). Also correct small grammar ("when I get bored I can just change the ingredients and eat more" -> "I can change the toppings to keep it interesting").

例: I don’t have a single favourite food, but if I had to choose it would be pizza. For one thing, it’s versatile — I can change the toppings to suit my mood, and for another, it’s easy to share with friends. Because of that variety, I never get bored of eating it.

提案: Open with a clear topic sentence, then explain the change with a reason and a brief example. Reduce repetition ("so much like every every kid") and fix word order ("avoiding them eating so much" -> "avoiding them now"). Use a linking word to show contrast (e.g., "but" or "however").

例: When I was a child I loved fast food, like many kids. However, as I learned more about nutrition, I realised it’s unhealthy, so I avoid it now except as an occasional treat.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence, then explain with specific details and a linking word to show contrast. Replace vague phrases ("cook them at home") with clearer ones ("cook at home") and refine the reason: "I know the ingredients and can control calories." Also avoid repeating "my final weeks" twice.

例: Yes. For most of the year I cook at home because it lets me control the ingredients and calories. However, during my final exam weeks I often rely on fast food because it’s quicker and more convenient.

提案: Start with a clear direct answer, then briefly summarise the change and give specific reasons. Use linking words to connect ideas ("because", "so"). Avoid repeating earlier content verbatim; instead add a specific example of what you cook now to show the change.

例: Yes, it has. I used to eat burgers and fries a lot because they were quick and tasty. But now I try to cook balanced meals at home — for example, grilled fish with vegetables — so I can control the ingredients and stay healthier.

× Actually I love eating so much but I cannot say one food is my favorite.

✓ Actually I love eating so much that I cannot say one food is my favorite.

The original sentence lacks a conjunction or connector to show cause and effect. Use 'so that' or 'so' + result clause; here 'so that' is formal but 'so' with 'that' clarifies the relationship. Also 'one food is my favorite' is acceptable but flows better with the connector. Suggestion: use 'so that' or 'so I cannot' to link the ideas clearly.

× But pizza is the most enjoyable meal for me because I never get bored eating pizza.

✓ But pizza is the most enjoyable meal for me because I never get bored of eating it.

English uses the preposition 'bored of' or 'bored with' when followed by a noun or gerund. Repeating 'pizza' is redundant; use the pronoun 'it' instead. Suggestion: say 'bored of eating it' or 'bored with pizza.'

× When I get bored I can just change the ingredients and eat more.

✓ When I get bored, I can just change the ingredients and eat more of it.

The pronoun 'it' is needed to refer back to the meal (pizza) and avoid ambiguity. Also add a comma after the adverbial clause 'When I get bored'. Suggestion: include 'of it' to clarify what 'more' refers to.

× I used to love fast food so much like every every kid but now I can understand how harmful they are for my body so I'm avoiding them eating so much.

✓ I used to love fast food so much, like every kid, but now I understand how harmful it is for my body, so I avoid eating it so much.

Multiple issues: duplicate 'every', punctuation needed around the parenthetical phrase 'like every kid', and agreement between 'fast food' (uncountable) and pronouns/verbs — use singular 'it' and 'is' rather than 'they are'. The verb phrase 'I'm avoiding them eating so much' is ungrammatical; change to 'I avoid eating it so much' or 'I'm avoiding it.' Suggestion: treat 'fast food' as uncountable and use correct pronouns and verb forms.

× Most of the year I try to cook them at home because I know the ingredients, I know their calories.

✓ Most of the year I try to cook at home because I know the ingredients and their calories.

The pronoun 'them' incorrectly refers to 'food' or 'meals' — better to omit it and say 'cook at home'. Also combine clauses with 'and' rather than a comma splice. Suggestion: remove 'them' and connect phrases properly.

× But in my exam weeks, my final weeks, I usually eat fast food.

✓ But during my exam weeks, my final exams, I usually eat fast food.

'In my exam weeks' is unnatural; use 'during' for periods of time. Also 'my final weeks' is ambiguous — if referring to final exam weeks, say 'my final exams' or 'my final exam weeks.' Suggestion: use 'during' and clarify the phrase.

× Of course it changed.

✓ Of course it has changed.

When discussing a change from childhood to now, present perfect ('has changed') is preferred because it links past change to the present. Simple past 'it changed' is possible but less natural in context. Suggestion: use present perfect to show ongoing relevance.

× Like I said before, I used to prefer burgers, fries, fast food meals most of the time because they were easy, quick and really tasty.

✓ Like I said before, I used to prefer burgers, fries, and fast food meals most of the time because they were easy, quick, and really tasty.

This is mainly punctuation: add commas and 'and' in lists (serial comma optional) for clarity. 'They' correctly refers to the meals; no change to pronoun number needed. Suggestion: include commas in lists.

× But now I can understand how unhealthy they are, so I try to cook at home to control ingredients and calories.

✓ But now I understand how unhealthy they are, so I try to cook at home to control the ingredients and the calories.

'Can understand' is grammatical but sounds less natural than simple present 'understand' when stating an opinion or fact. Also add definite articles for specificity: 'the ingredients' and 'the calories' or simply 'ingredients and calories.' Suggestion: prefer 'I understand' and include articles if referring to specific items.