Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer more concise and accurate, use correct name of the dish (if ‘Sondu Bujigi’ is intended as ‘sundae’ or ‘sundae-bulgogi’, clarify) and add a brief reason with a linking word. Avoid starting sentences with conjunctions like “So”. Also reduce redundancy by combining related ideas into one or two sentences.

例: My favourite foods are Malay and Korean dishes, but at the moment I especially love Sondu Bujigi because it’s a comforting, spicy-sweet dish. For example, I turn to it when I’m sad or celebrating, since its bold flavors always lift my mood.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence and use past tense consistently when talking about childhood. Use linking words like “for example” or “often” to structure supporting details and be specific about frequency or types of chocolate. Avoid repeating phrases like “so”.

例: I loved sweet foods when I was young, especially chocolates. For example, I often bought candy after school and whenever I visited Langkawi I’d buy chocolates in bulk to share with my friends.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence directly answering the question and improve sentence structure and grammar. Use linking words to list examples and be specific about dishes. Avoid vague phrases like “it's normally made” and correct verb forms.

例: Yes, we eat different foods at certain times of the year, especially during Hari Raya. For instance, families prepare rendang and serve it with sticky rice, along with other festive dishes like ketupat and kuih to celebrate.

提案: Use correct tense and avoid filler words (“something something”). Start with a clear topic sentence, then briefly explain why your taste changed using linking words like “because” or “so”. Give a specific example of a food you prefer now to illustrate the change.

例: Yes, my taste has changed. When I was a child I loved chocolate moist cake, but as I’ve grown older I no longer have such a sweet tooth, so I now prefer less sweet desserts like fruit tarts or plain yogurt with honey.

× So it's like my comfort food whenever I feel sad, angry or I want to celebrate something good.

✓ So it's like my comfort food whenever I feel sad, angry, or want to celebrate something good.

The pronoun 'I' is unnecessary before 'want' because the subject 'I' is already implied and repeated subjects in a coordinated list should be omitted for conciseness. Remove the second 'I' to make the sentence flow naturally and avoid redundancy. Suggestion: Omit repeated subjects in coordinated clauses (e.g., 'sad, angry, or want...').

× I have sweet tooth so I prefer dessert, so I have a lot of chocolates.

✓ I have a sweet tooth, so I prefer desserts and have a lot of chocolates.

The noun phrase should be 'a sweet tooth' (singular with article) and 'dessert' should be plural if speaking generally ('prefer desserts'). Also combine clauses to avoid repetition of 'so'. Suggestion: Use 'a sweet tooth' and pluralize general nouns when appropriate ('desserts').

× After school I would buy them and whenever I go to Langkawi, I will buy the chocolates in bulk and then I'll give that to my friends.

✓ After school I would buy them, and whenever I went to Langkawi, I bought chocolates in bulk and then gave them to my friends.

The student is describing habitual past actions, so use past tense rather than conditional 'would' mixed with future 'will'. Use consistent past tense: 'went', 'bought', 'gave'. Also use 'them' to refer to chocolates (plural) not 'that'. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent when describing past habits and use correct plural pronouns ('gave them').

× Yes, in Malaysia we have Hari Raya celebration.

✓ Yes, in Malaysia we have the Hari Raya celebration.

When referring to a specific celebration by name, include the definite article 'the' before 'Hari Raya celebration' to indicate a particular event. Suggestion: Use 'the' with specific events: 'the Hari Raya celebration'. Note that 'Hari Raya' alone can also be used: 'we have Hari Raya' without 'celebration'.

× So during Hari Raya we cook different meals and it's normally made. Cook with rendang and you can eat with sticky rice.

✓ So during Hari Raya we cook different meals, and they are normally made with rendang and can be eaten with sticky rice.

Original sentences are fragmented and unclear. 'It's normally made' has unclear subject; change to 'they are normally made' referring to 'meals'. 'Cook with rendang' is not a complete clause; convert to passive/adjective phrase: 'made with rendang' and 'can be eaten with sticky rice'. Ensure subject-verb agreement and complete clauses. Suggestion: Use clear subjects for passive constructions and combine fragments into full sentences.

× Yes, when I was a kid I love to eat chocolate moist cake but as I grow older I don't have sweet tooth much as I used to so I prefer something something less sweet.

✓ Yes, when I was a kid I loved to eat moist chocolate cake, but as I grew older I didn't have a sweet tooth as much as I used to, so I preferred something less sweet.

The sentence mixes past and present tenses incorrectly. To describe childhood habits, use past tense consistently: 'loved', 'grew', 'didn't have', 'preferred'. Also correct noun order to 'moist chocolate cake' and remove repeated 'something'. Use articles: 'a sweet tooth'. Suggestion: Maintain consistent past tense when talking about past preferences; fix adjective order and article usage.