Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., "My favourite food is cereal."), avoid awkward phrasing like "glad eating," and keep sentences varied but brief. Add one specific detail about the type of cereal or a typical preparation to enrich the answer, and use a linking phrase for coherence.

例: My favourite food is cereal. I usually have whole-grain cereal with yogurt for breakfast because it’s nutritious and helps me control my weight. For example, I often choose oats with fresh fruit and a spoonful of yogurt, which keeps me full without many calories.

提案: Correct minor language errors and use a clear topic sentence. Replace "freshing" with "refreshing," and say "when I was a child" once. Add a short linking phrase and one specific memory or favourite flavour to make it more vivid.

例: When I was a child, I loved eating ice cream because it was so sweet and refreshing. In the summers, since we didn’t have air conditioning, my family and I would buy mango-flavoured ice cream to cool down after playing outside.

提案: Use present tense for habitual actions and improve grammar ("seasonal products are"). Begin with a clear topic sentence and use linking words like "for example" appropriately. Be specific about which seasonal products you prefer and briefly explain why hot pot suits winter.

例: Yes, I eat different foods during the year. Seasonal products are fresher, more nutritious, and often cheaper; for example, I eat more ice cream in summer to cool down and enjoy hot pot in winter because it’s warm, communal, and comforting.

提案: Clarify and correct the contrast: it should be that you realized sweet foods were bad for your health. Start with a topic sentence, use a linking word like "however," and provide a specific example of a change and a short reason. Keep sentences concise and correct "higher in nutrient" to "higher in nutrients."

例: Yes, my favourite foods have changed. I used to love sweet foods as a child; however, I realized they were bad for my health, so now I prefer foods lower in sugar and higher in nutrients, such as fresh fruit and whole-grain cereal.

× I really am glad eating cereal because it's nutritious and helps me control my weight.

✓ I really enjoy eating cereal because it's nutritious and helps me control my weight.

The phrase 'glad eating' is ungrammatical because 'glad' is an adjective that needs a clause or to be followed by 'to' plus infinitive ('glad to eat') or a different verb such as 'enjoy' with -ing. Use 'enjoy eating' to correctly express pleasure in an activity; alternatively use 'glad to eat' if you prefer an infinitive. Suggestion: replace 'am glad eating' with 'enjoy eating' or 'am glad to eat' depending on nuance.

× I usually have cereal and yogurt for breakfast because it keeps me full with low calories.

✓ I usually have cereal and yogurt for breakfast because they keep me full while being low in calories.

The pronoun 'it' is incorrect for two items; use 'they' for plural. The phrase 'full with low calories' is unnatural: use 'while being low in calories' or 'while they are low in calories.' Also 'keep me full' is fine, but subject and preposition need adjustment. Suggestion: use 'they keep me full while being low in calories' or 'they keep me full and are low in calories.'

× I loved eating ice cream when I was a child because it was so sweet and freshing.

✓ I loved eating ice cream when I was a child because it was so sweet and refreshing.

'Freshing' is not a correct adjective form; the correct adjective is 'refreshing.' Use 'refreshing' to describe something that makes you feel refreshed or cool. Suggestion: replace 'freshing' with 'refreshing.'

× We didn't have air conditioner, so having ice cream in the summer was a good way to cool down.

✓ We didn't have an air conditioner, so having ice cream in the summer was a good way to cool down.

Countable noun 'air conditioner' requires an article. Use 'an air conditioner' when referring to one unit in a general past context. Suggestion: add the article 'an' before 'air conditioner.'

× I enjoyed eating a different food depending on the seasons because seasonal product is fresher, more nutritious, and affordable.

✓ I enjoy eating different foods depending on the season because seasonal produce is fresher, more nutritious, and more affordable.

Tense and number need consistency with the question about present habits: use present simple 'I enjoy.' 'A different food' is awkward; use plural 'different foods.' 'Depending on the seasons' is acceptable but 'depending on the season' sounds natural. 'Seasonal product' should be 'seasonal produce' or 'seasonal products' and add 'more' before 'affordable' for parallelism. Suggestion: use 'I enjoy eating different foods depending on the season because seasonal produce is fresher, more nutritious, and more affordable.'

× For example, I usually eat ice cream in the summer to cool down, and in the winter I eat hot pot to keep up.

✓ For example, I usually eat ice cream in the summer to cool down, and in the winter I eat hot pot to warm up.

'Keep up' is incorrect in this context; the intended meaning is to become warmer, which is expressed by 'warm up.' 'Keep up' means maintain a level or continue, not become warm. Suggestion: replace 'keep up' with 'warm up.'

× I used to love eating sweet food when I was a child, but I realized they weren't bad for my health.

✓ I used to love eating sweet foods when I was a child, but I realized they were bad for my health.

Two issues: 'sweet food' should be plural 'sweet foods' or 'sweets' when speaking generally. The clause 'I realized they weren't bad for my health' contradicts likely meaning and uses negative incorrectly; context implies realization that they were bad, so 'were bad' is correct. Also past-tense 'realized' matches 'were.' Suggestion: use 'sweet foods' or 'sweets' and 'were bad for my health.'

× Now I try to eat foods lower in sugar and higher in nutrient, such as fruit and cereal.

✓ Now I try to eat foods lower in sugar and higher in nutrients, such as fruit and cereal.

'Higher in nutrient' is ungrammatical because 'nutrient' is usually countable; use the plural 'nutrients' or 'more nutritious.' Also 'foods lower in sugar' is acceptable; ensure parallel structure by using 'higher in nutrients.' Suggestion: use 'higher in nutrients' or 'more nutritious.'