Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and start with a clear topic sentence naming your favourite food. Use one or two specific supporting details and a linking phrase. Avoid repeating similar items and informal idioms like 'on cloud 9' unless varied language is needed.

例: My favourite food is chocolate desserts, especially chocolate cake. For example, I enjoy rich chocolate cake and chocolate ice cream because they are creamy and satisfy my sweet tooth. Also, I like desserts that balance sweet and slightly sour flavors, such as a raspberry-chocolate tart.

提案: Open with a direct topic sentence. Provide one or two specific details (why you liked it, how it was prepared) and avoid redundant phrases and exaggerated storytelling. Keep to 2–3 sentences and use a linking word if adding details.

例: When I was young, I loved plain pasta with butter and salt. I liked it because it was simple and comforting, and my grandmother would tell me stories while I ate, which made the meal feel special.

提案: Begin with a clear direct answer (yes/no) then explain with specific examples and linking words. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., 'lighter meals' instead of 'something cold') and avoid filler phrases like 'I think yeah'.

例: Yes, I eat different foods depending on the season. In summer I prefer light, cold dishes such as salads and chilled fruit, because hot food feels heavy in the heat. In winter I choose warming meals like soups and oven-baked casseroles to stay warm.

提案: Give a clear concise response and explain reasons with specific examples. Avoid repetition and awkward phrasing. Use linking words (e.g., 'because', 'now') and limit to 2–3 sentences for clarity.

例: Yes, my favourite foods have changed. I stopped eating pasta as often because I had it so much as a child; now I usually have rice or corn as side dishes and I prefer meat-based main courses because I enjoy the variety and flavors more.

× And also I like when it's sour and sweet at the same time.

✓ And also I like it when it is sour and sweet at the same time.

Missing object 'it' after 'like' requires expres­sion 'like it when...' to be grammatical; add 'it' to mark the clause as the object of 'like'. Use full form 'it is' for speech clarity.

× Last week I bought my favorite ice cream and I was on cloud 9.

✓ Last week I bought my favorite ice cream and I was on cloud nine.

Use of number spelling: 'nine' is preferred in formal writing; grammar is correct but number should be spelled. No tense change needed.

× Surprisingly, I mostly liked pasta, just plain pasta with some butter and salt, and it was everything that I needed to make myself happy.

✓ Surprisingly, I mostly liked pasta, just plain pasta with some butter and salt, and it was everything I needed to make me happy.

Use simpler object pronoun structure: 'everything I needed to make me happy' is more natural than 'everything that I needed to make myself happy.' 'Myself' is unnecessary and can be awkward; 'me' is the appropriate object.

× My grandma used to tell me stories about how I stuffed my mouth with this pasta and I was amazingly happy.

✓ My grandma used to tell me stories about how I stuffed my mouth with that pasta and I was amazingly happy.

Reference consistency: use 'that' instead of 'this' when referring back to childhood pasta. Tense is correct (past habitual 'used to').

× I think yeah, because for summer I prefer something cold, light as it's too hot to eat something warm.

✓ I think so, because in summer I prefer something cold and light since it's too hot to eat something warm.

Use 'in summer' (preposition choice) not 'for summer' and 'so' is more natural than 'yeah' after 'I think' in this context. Also join adjectives with 'and' and use 'since' for causal link. This fixes preposition and conjunction choices.

× And for winter it's the opposite.

✓ And in winter it's the opposite.

Use 'in winter' not 'for winter'; 'in' is the correct preposition for seasons.

× I like soup and something baked in an oven, something that warms you up inside.

✓ I like soup and something baked in the oven, something that warms you up inside.

Use definite article 'the oven' when speaking generally about the household oven or ovens commonly used; gerund structure 'baked' is fine. Article correction improves naturalness.

× I think yes, I don't usually eat pasta anymore since I ate it too much from my childhood so that now I mostly eat rice or some corns instead of pasta at the side dish and I think I prefer meat more than I used to and I was a child.

✓ I think so. I don't usually eat pasta anymore because I ate it too much when I was a child, so now I mostly eat rice or some corn as a side dish, and I think I prefer meat more than I did when I was a child.

Multiple issues corrected: 'I think so' is natural; use 'because' for reason, 'when I was a child' not 'from my childhood', 'corn' is uncountable (not 'corns'), 'as a side dish' is correct phrase, and comparison should be 'more than I did when I was a child' for clarity and correct tense/agreement. Split into clearer clauses for readability.