Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and concise with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and filler words, and use correct grammar (verb tenses, articles, and prepositions). Add one specific detail about why you like that salad and use a linking phrase to connect the ideas.

例: My favourite food is salad because it’s light and healthy. However, I sometimes choose snacks depending on my mood. For example, I often eat a leafy salad with grilled chicken and a lemon vinaigrette because it tastes fresh and keeps me full.

提案: Use correct past tense and clearer organization: state the topic sentence in past tense, give specific examples, and explain briefly why you changed. Avoid unclear phrases like “a group” and filler sounds.

例: When I was young, I usually ate unhealthy foods such as chocolates and chips because I loved sweet and salty snacks. Later, I learned about nutrition in school and decided to cut down on high-calorie foods for health reasons.

提案: Answer directly and use natural phrasing and linking words. Use plural/singular correctly and give a specific personal example rather than general statements about ‘Indians’. Mention which seasons and foods you personally eat.

例: Yes, I eat different foods in different seasons. For instance, in summer I eat ripe mangoes because they are refreshing and widely available, while in winter I prefer oranges and hot soups to stay warm.

提案: Use past and present perfect correctly and be specific about how and why your preferences changed. Avoid vague phrases like “realize the scenario” and “nursing”; name the source of information (family, school, health advice). Provide a concise reason for the change.

例: Yes, my favourite foods have changed as I grew up. I learned from nutrition classes and advice from my family that some foods are healthier, so I now choose salads and grilled foods instead of sugary snacks.

× I will prefer salads and it depends.

✓ I prefer salads, but it depends.

The original uses 'will' incorrectly for a habitual preference; this is a present tense issue (use simple present for general preferences). Use 'prefer' for habitual actions and add a conjunction for clarity.

× Sometimes I will go for snacks or whatever I want to be with.

✓ Sometimes I go for snacks or whatever I feel like having.

'Will' is incorrectly used for habitual action and 'want to be with' is an incorrect phrase choice. This is a present tense and vocabulary issue; use simple present and the expression 'feel like having' to indicate desire for food.

× Like uh, depends on my mood swings.

✓ It depends on my mood.

Fragment and informal filler words create a sentence structure error; remove fillers and use 'mood' rather than 'mood swings' which implies rapid emotional changes. Keep it concise.

× Mostly I will go for salads.

✓ Mostly I go for salads.

Using 'will' for habitual action is incorrect; use simple present for habitual preferences.

× I will like salads which having really leafy and grilled chicken in it.

✓ I like salads that are very leafy and have grilled chicken in them.

Multiple errors: 'will like' wrongly uses future for a general preference (present tense issue), 'which having' is ungrammatical (sentence structure and verb form), and pronoun agreement 'it' should be 'them' to match plural 'salads'. Use relative clause 'that are' and 'have' to describe the salads.

× When I was a child I usually go for unhealthy foods like chocolates, chips and also which were in high calories.

✓ When I was a child, I usually went for unhealthy foods like chocolates and chips that were high in calories.

Tense error: describing past habits requires past simple 'went' rather than present 'go'. Also 'which were in high calories' is incorrect preposition and phrase; use 'high in calories' and attach it correctly to the foods.

× After umm a a group I came to know about the reality I stopped that things.

✓ After joining a group and learning the facts, I stopped eating those things.

Sentence structure and verb issues: 'a a group' is disfluent and unclear; 'came to know about the reality' is awkward — use 'learning the facts'. 'Stopped that things' has incorrect demonstrative and plural agreement; use 'stopped eating those things'.

× Yes, I will eat different food or fruits at different season in India.

✓ Yes, I eat different foods or fruits in different seasons in India.

Use simple present for habitual actions, and pluralize 'food(s)' and 'season(s)' appropriately. 'At different season' is wrong preposition and singular; use 'in different seasons'.

× In each particular season, there will be an fruit or available foods over there.

✓ In each season, there are fruits or certain foods available.

'There will be' implies future; use 'there are' for habitual/state facts (there be issue). Also 'an fruit' is wrong article for a consonant-start noun and 'available foods over there' is wordy; simplify to 'fruits or certain foods available'.

× For example, in summer season, Indians will go for mangoes which were very familiar and available in local itself.

✓ For example, in summer, Indians eat mangoes, which are very common and available locally.

Tense and word choice: use simple present 'eat' for habitual action. 'Which were very familiar' is incorrect — use 'which are very common' and 'available in local itself' is incorrect preposition and reflexive; use 'available locally'.

× Yes, definitely after I grow up I realize the scenario that what are good for our body and what is bad and also nursing help me to find out what are very nutritious.

✓ Yes, definitely after I grew up, I realized what is good for our body and what is bad, and nursing helped me find out what is nutritious.

Mixed tense errors: describing past change requires past simple 'grew' and 'realized' rather than present. 'What are good' should be 'what is good' (subject-verb agreement and sentence structure). 'Nursing help me' should be past 'helped me' and 'find out what is very nutritious' simplified to 'find out what is nutritious'.

× So I came to filter that life.

✓ So I learned to filter my choices in life.

Awkward phrasing and sentence structure: 'came to filter that life' is unclear. Use a clearer verb and object: 'learned to filter my choices in life' conveys the intended meaning.