Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details (why you like them, when you eat them). Use varied vocabulary and linking words to improve coherence.

例: I enjoy sweet foods, especially desserts like chocolate and vanilla cake. I usually have them in the evening after a long day because they lift my mood and help me relax.

提案: Use past tense consistently and avoid repeating the same reason from the previous answer. Give one or two specific examples and a brief explanation using linking words (for example, because or so).

例: When I was young, I loved sweet treats such as chocolate bars and ice cream because they felt like a special reward after school. For example, I remember saving pocket money to buy chocolate on weekends.

提案: Improve grammar and clarity. Give a clear topic sentence, then specify examples of seasonal foods and occasions, using linking words (for instance, during, for, because). Keep sentences short and accurate.

例: Yes, I eat different foods at different times of the year. For instance, during festivals my family prepares traditional sweets and special dishes, while in summer we often eat lighter meals like salads and fruit to stay cool.

提案: Use accurate tense and reduce repetition. State the change clearly, explain the reason briefly, and give specific examples of what you eat now. Use linking words such as because or so to connect ideas.

例: Yes, my preferences changed. I used to eat a lot of fast food like burgers, noodles and pizza, but because I noticed health problems I started choosing healthier options such as salads, grilled chicken and steamed vegetables to stay fit.

× Well, I am quite fond of sweet dishes such as desserts, chocolates, and vanilla cake.

✓ Well, I am quite fond of sweet dishes such as desserts, chocolates, and vanilla cake.

No grammatical change needed; sentence is acceptable. 'Sweet dishes' and examples are correctly used. Suggestion: you could say 'vanilla cake' or 'a vanilla cake' depending on context, but both are acceptable here.

× These sweet dishes uplift my mood and I eat these sweet dishes after my hectic day to uplift my mood and refresh my mind.

✓ These sweet dishes uplift my mood, so I eat them after a hectic day to relax and refresh my mind.

Redundant phrasing and repetitive clauses create sentence structure issues. Combine ideas with a coordinating conjunction and replace repeated phrases with pronouns ('them') and more natural verbs ('relax'). Use 'a hectic day' for idiomatic English.

× These give me peacefulness.

✓ They give me a sense of peace.

'Peacefulness' is awkward in this context. Native speakers use 'a sense of peace' or 'peace of mind'. Also replace 'these' with 'they' to refer back to 'sweet dishes' more naturally.

× To be honest, I like sweet dishes as a young because it helps me to refresh my mind after a hectic day and it also give me a taste of pleasure.

✓ To be honest, I liked sweet dishes when I was young because they helped me relax after a hectic day and also gave me a sense of pleasure.

This sentence describes a past habit, so past tense should be used. Change 'like' to 'liked', 'as a young' to 'when I was young', 'helps' to 'helped', and 'give' to 'gave'. Also use plural pronoun 'they' to agree with 'sweet dishes'.

× And I mostly like chocolate and ice creams as a sweet dish.

✓ I mostly liked chocolate and ice cream as sweet treats.

Use past tense 'liked' to match previous clause. 'Ice cream' is usually uncountable, so use singular form. 'Sweet treats' is more natural than 'a sweet dish' when listing examples.

× Yes, of course I eat distinct foods at various times of the years.

✓ Yes, of course I eat different foods at various times of the year.

'Distinct' is less natural than 'different' here. Use singular 'year' with 'times of the year'. 'Different foods' is the correct collocation.

× On the one hand, when there is there are any special occasions such as festivals or any custom than in at or home, my mother prepared a sweet dishes and variety of foods to eat.

✓ On special occasions such as festivals or family customs, my mother prepared sweet dishes and a variety of foods at home to eat.

Original has redundant and mixed phrases ('there is there are', 'than in at or home'). Simplify to a clear time phrase 'On special occasions'. Use past tense 'prepared' to match narrative. Use 'sweet dishes' (no article) and 'a variety of foods'. Place 'at home' correctly.

× Yes, definitely.

✓ Yes, definitely.

No change needed; brief affirmative answer is fine in context.

× In my salad days I mostly like junk food such as burger, noodle, pizza.

✓ In my salad days I mostly liked junk food such as burgers, noodles, and pizza.

Talking about past habits requires past tense 'liked'. Use plural forms 'burgers' and 'noodles' for natural lists; keep 'pizza' uncountable or plural as 'pizzas' depending on meaning.

× But as a young I realized that these have many health issues.

✓ But as I grew older I realized that these caused many health problems.

'As a young' is incorrect; use 'as I grew older' or 'when I was younger'. Use past tense 'realized' and change 'have' to 'caused' to convey that the foods led to health problems. 'Health problems' is the correct collocation.

× This created many health issues.

✓ They created many health problems.

'This' is vague; refer back to 'these foods' with 'they'. Use 'created' or 'caused' in past tense; 'health problems' is more natural than 'health issues' here.

× That's why I switched my mood to healthy salad and light with food which helps me to stay fit.

✓ That's why I switched to a healthier diet, choosing salads and lighter foods that help me stay fit.

'Switched my mood' is incorrect; the intended meaning is 'switched to a healthier diet'. Use comparative adjective 'healthier', 'salads and lighter foods' for natural nouns, and 'that help me stay fit' with present tense 'help' to state a general truth.