Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp và cấu trúc câu; trả lời trực tiếp, rõ ràng hơn và tránh lỗi từ vựng/diễn đạt (ví dụ: 'use' không đúng ở đây). Nên thêm một câu giải thích ngắn gọn với liên từ để làm rõ lý do và kết thúc súc tích.

例: My favourite food is fast food because it’s very convenient and portable. For example, I often grab a sandwich or a burger between classes, which saves time and lets me eat on the go.

提案: Sửa lỗi ngữ pháp (thời quá khứ), trật tự từ và lược bỏ lặp từ; dùng câu mạch lạc với từ nối để liên kết ý. Nên nêu một hoặc hai ví dụ cụ thể và cảm nhận ngắn gọn hơn 3-4 câu.

例: When I was a child, I loved snacks, especially ice cream and fizzy drinks. They made me feel happy and energetic after playing outside, although now I try to avoid them because they’re unhealthy.

提案: Chỉnh ngôn ngữ tự nhiên hơn, sửa từ sai ('substrings'), và dùng linking words để so sánh mùa khác nhau; cung cấp chi tiết cụ thể (món và lý do) trong 2-3 câu.

例: Yes, my diet changes with the seasons. For instance, in summer I prefer cold treats like ice cream and salads, whereas in winter I choose warm dishes such as noodle soup because they’re comforting and help me stay warm.

提案: Sửa cấu trúc câu, ngữ pháp và logic (giải thích rõ ràng vì sao thay đổi). Tránh câu rời rạc; dùng liên từ để nối ý (e.g., 'but', 'because', 'so') và nêu ví dụ cụ thể về món ăn gia đình và món ăn nhanh hiện tại.

例: Yes, it has changed. As a child I preferred my family’s home-cooked meals, like steamed fish and vegetables, but now I often choose fast food because it’s quick and convenient when I’m busy with homework.

× Honestly I use junk food the most because for me it's really convenient and I can take it everywhere I want.

✓ Honestly I eat junk food the most because for me it's really convenient and I can take it everywhere I go.

The student used 'use' with 'junk food', but we typically 'eat' food (verb choice/pronoun context). Also 'everywhere I want' is awkward; 'everywhere I go' is the natural collocation. Suggestion: replace 'use' with 'eat' and use 'go' for movement contexts. Grammar problem type ID: 12

× As I were a child I'm really keen on snack and also some cold food like ice cream and soft drinks would make my my feel energetic and. Give me huge amount of energy.

✓ When I was a child I was really keen on snacks, and cold foods like ice cream and soft drinks would make me feel energetic and give me a huge amount of energy.

Multiple issues: 'As I were a child' should be 'When I was a child' (incorrect verb form and conjunction use). 'I'm really keen' conflicts with past time — use past tense 'was'. 'Snack' should be plural 'snacks'. 'Would make my my feel' has pronoun repetition and wrong possessive 'my' instead of 'me'. Sentence fragments must be combined into one coherent sentence. Suggestion: use 'When I was a child, I was really keen on snacks, and ... would make me feel...'. Grammar problem type ID: 5

× Honestly it's based on the season of the year.

✓ Honestly it depends on the season of the year.

'Based on' is not the best verb for stating personal choice; 'depends on' is more natural. This is a verb-choice/preposition issue: 'based on' requires a subject that is 'based' on something, but for preferences we say 'depends on'. Suggestion: use 'depends on'. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× For example, in summer I prefer some cold food like ice cream and substrings, but in the winter I prefer more in hot food like a soup and noodle.

✓ For example, in summer I prefer cold foods like ice cream and sorbets, but in winter I prefer hot foods like soup and noodles.

Problems: 'some cold food' should be plural 'cold foods' for general preference. 'Substrings' is likely a typo; 'sorbets' or 'cold drinks' fits. 'Prefer more in hot food' is ungrammatical — use 'prefer hot foods' or 'I prefer to eat hot foods'. 'a soup and noodle' should be plural 'soup and noodles' or 'a bowl of soup and noodles'. Suggestion: use plural nouns for general habits and correct word choice. Grammar problem type ID: 13

× Of course yes, as a child I really keen on my family home cook but now I'm really into the junk food because it's more convenient and other high school student.

✓ Of course; as a child I was really keen on my family's home cooking, but now I'm really into junk food because it's more convenient for other high school students.

Multiple pronoun and noun form issues: 'as a child I really keen' lacks the verb 'was' (past tense). 'my family home cook' should be 'my family's home cooking' (possessive and noun). 'other high school student' should be plural 'students' and needs a preposition 'for other high school students' to express who benefits. Suggestion: add the verb 'was', use possessive 'family's' and plural 'students'. Grammar problem type ID: 12

× It helps me a lot when I'm busy with the amount of homework and studies.

✓ It helps me a lot when I'm busy with a large amount of homework and studying.

'Busy with the amount of homework and studies' is awkward. Use 'a large amount of homework' or 'a lot of homework' and 'studying' (gerund) instead of the plural 'studies' in this context. Suggestion: rephrase to 'busy with a lot of homework and studying'. Grammar problem type ID: 26