Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, correct the name to 'kimbap', avoid repetition, and give one or two specific supporting details using a linking word. Also keep to under five sentences.

例: My favourite food is kimbap. Because you can put many different ingredients in one roll, each bite tastes different, and it’s a convenient, nutritious meal. For example, I often include vegetables, egg, and tuna, which makes it both tasty and balanced.

提案: Fix grammar and word choice, remove unnecessary words, and use linking words to explain why it was special. Be concise and more natural: one topic sentence plus one supporting detail with a reason or example.

例: When I was young, I loved pizza. Because my parents only bought it for special occasions like my birthday, it felt like a treat, and I especially enjoyed the variety of toppings such as cheese and pepperoni.

提案: Improve pronunciation and naming (Pyongyang naengmyeon), correct grammar and sentence flow, and use linking words to contrast seasons. Provide one clear example per season and avoid filler words like 'uh'.

例: Yes. It depends on the season in Korea: in summer I like cold noodles called Pyongyang naengmyeon because they are refreshing, whereas in winter I prefer hot stews that are warming and hearty.

提案: Use clearer grammar and a structured response: one topic sentence stating the change, followed by a specific reason and examples. Correct word choice (e.g., 'I have become more health-conscious' and 'healthier foods').

例: Yes, it has changed. I have become more health-conscious, so now I prefer healthier foods such as kimbap and salads because they have more vegetables and less grease.

× My favorite food is Kimba. I can put various ingredients in at once. It's really savory and each roll has a really different flavor and it's nutriently balanced, so I really enjoy it.

✓ My favorite food is kimbap. I can put various ingredients in it at once. It's really savory, each roll has a different flavor, and it's nutritionally balanced, so I really enjoy it.

Errors: 'Kimba' is likely a misspelling of 'kimbap' (word choice/spelling). 'Put various ingredients in at once' needs the object 'it' for clarity (sentence structure/pronoun). 'Really different flavor' sounds natural without 'really'; 'nutriently' is not a correct adverb; use 'nutritionally'. Also add commas and conjunctions to link clauses. Suggestion: correct spelling, include the object 'it', use 'different flavor' without extra adverb, and replace 'nutriently' with 'nutritionally'.

× I loved pizza so much when I was a kid. My parents only boated on really special occasions such as my birthday or holidays, so it felt me like a treat. I really loved the toppings on it.

✓ I loved pizza so much when I was a kid. My parents only bought it on very special occasions such as my birthday or holidays, so it felt like a treat. I really loved the toppings.

Errors: 'boated' is a wrong word choice; should be 'bought'. 'Really special' is acceptable but 'very special' is more natural (adverb choice). 'It felt me like a treat' uses incorrect pronoun/object order; correct is 'it felt like a treat' (no 'me'). Also 'on it' is unnecessary after 'toppings'. Suggestion: replace incorrect verb, remove extra pronoun, and simplify the final clause.

× Yes I do. It depends on the season in Korea uh during the summer season I love eating cold noodles called Pyongyang Ning and on the winter season I enjoy Stew like.

✓ Yes, I do. It depends on the season in Korea. During the summer I love eating cold noodles called Pyongyang naengmyeon, and in the winter I enjoy stews.

Errors: Run-on sentence and missing punctuation; 'uh' is filler and should be removed in written form. 'Pyongyang Ning' is likely misspelled; correct term is 'Pyongyang naengmyeon'. 'On the winter season' should be 'in the winter' (preposition and article). 'Stew like' is unclear; use plural 'stews' or 'stew'. Suggestion: split into sentences, correct dish name, use 'during/in the season' prepositions, and use correct noun form.

× Yes, it has changed a lot. I become taking care of healthy and well-being in my of my body, so I prefer to more healthier food such as kimbap or salad.

✓ Yes, it has changed a lot. I have become more careful about my health and well-being, so I prefer healthier foods such as kimbap or salad.

Errors: 'I become taking care of healthy and well-being in my of my body' is ungrammatical: incorrect verb construction and word order. Use present perfect 'have become' to indicate change, and phrase 'more careful about my health and well-being'. 'Prefer to more healthier food' mixes comparative and modifiers incorrectly; use 'prefer healthier foods' or 'prefer more healthy foods'. Suggestion: use correct auxiliary 'have become', proper noun phrases 'my health and well-being', and the comparative adjective 'healthier' without extra modifiers.