Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid filler words (uh, like) and repetition. Improve fluency by using linking words such as 'usually' or 'however'.

例: I don't walk a lot. I usually walk for about 20 minutes three times a week, but my doctor has advised me to walk more for better health.

提案: Give a direct answer and complete your supporting detail. Avoid hesitations and unfinished sentences. Use linking words like 'for example' and provide a clear ending. Be specific about frequency and what you did on the walks.

例: Yes, I often walked with my mother when I was a child. For example, during summer vacations we walked every morning for about 40–45 minutes and often returned with a bag of fruit from a local market.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence and use cohesive linking to add specific reasons. Correct grammar (e.g., 'feel safer' not 'their security') and avoid vague phrases. Provide one concrete example to illustrate your point.

例: People like walking in parks because it helps them relax and enjoy nature. For example, the shade from trees and well-maintained paths make people feel fresher and safer than walking on busy roads.

提案: Answer directly and avoid unnecessary repetition. Use correct prepositions and singular/plural agreement. Be specific about why you prefer the place and link reasons coherently. Remove irrelevant details about sellers unless they support your reason for choosing the park.

例: I would choose KBR Park because it is close to my home and has wide, well-maintained paths and lots of greenery, which makes long walks pleasant and relaxing.

提案: Answer the question directly and clearly. If you didn't walk recently, say so briefly and then link to what you did instead. Avoid repetition and improve sentence structure; use linking words like 'instead' and explain reasons concisely.

例: I haven't gone for a walk recently. Instead, I've been going to the gym regularly because I prefer strength training for weight loss; I find it more effective than walking.

× Well I don't really walk a lot, I prefer to walk mostly around for 20 minutes so in like 3 times in a week.

✓ Well, I don't really walk a lot; I usually walk for about 20 minutes, three times a week.

The original sentence mixes adverbs and time expressions awkwardly and uses incorrect word order. Use 'usually' for habitual present, 'for about 20 minutes' for duration, and 'three times a week' for frequency. Also add a comma after 'Well' and a semicolon or conjunction to join independent clauses. Grammar problem type ID:6

× Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child?

✓ Did you often go outside for a walk when you were a child?

The original uses 'to have a walk', which is unnatural in English. Use 'for a walk' with the past question form 'Did you...?' The tense is already past; only the prepositional phrase needed correction. Grammar problem type ID:5

× Well, when I was a child, I vaguely remember how often I used to walk, but I do recall some memories of me and my mother going for walks during the summer vacation.

✓ Well, when I was a child, I vaguely remember how often I used to walk, but I do recall memories of my mother and me going for walks during the summer vacations.

Use 'memories of my mother and me' (correct pronoun order and object form). 'Summer vacations' or 'the summer holidays' is more natural plural when speaking generally about repeated seasons. 'Some memories of' is redundant; 'I do recall memories' can be simplified but kept here to retain meaning. Grammar problem type ID:12

× We used to, uh, wake up every morning and go for like, uh, 40 to 45 minutes walk and come back with come back with a bag of.

✓ We used to wake up every morning, go for a 40- to 45-minute walk, and come back with a bag of groceries.

Phrases like 'like' and filler 'uh' should be removed. Use 'a 40- to 45-minute walk' for correct adjectival time expression. Remove duplicate 'come back with' and complete the sentence with an object such as 'groceries' to make it grammatical. Grammar problem type ID:26

× People prefer walking in the parks because it makes them feel relaxed.

✓ People prefer walking in parks because it makes them feel relaxed.

Use 'in parks' (no definite article) for general statements. 'The parks' implies specific parks; for general preference, plural without article is correct. Grammar problem type ID:11

× They feel fresh in the nature with trees and gardens everywhere.

✓ They feel refreshed in nature with trees and gardens everywhere.

Use 'refreshed' (adjective) rather than 'fresh' to describe people. Remove 'the' before 'nature'—use 'in nature' for general statements. 'Refreshed' fits collocation better. Grammar problem type ID:22

× It also makes them feel more comfortable where their security and safety when compared to A roadside walk or a footpath.

✓ It also makes them feel safer and more comfortable compared to a roadside walk or a footpath.

The original is ungrammatical and wordy. Use 'safer and more comfortable' for clarity. 'A roadside walk' should be lowercase 'a'. Remove unnecessary words like 'their security and safety' which repeat meaning. Grammar problem type ID:12

× If I had the chance to walk, I would usually prefer KBR Park which is nearby to my home.

✓ If I had the chance to take a long walk, I would usually prefer KBR Park, which is near my home.

Use 'take a long walk' to match the question. 'Nearby to my home' is incorrect; use 'near my home'. Add commas to set off the nonrestrictive clause. Grammar problem type ID:10

× It is a very well established and developed park with lots of greenery and wide walking paths.

✓ It is a well-established park with lots of greenery and wide walking paths.

Hyphenate 'well-established' and avoid redundant 'developed' after 'well established.' The sentence is otherwise fine; remove redundancy. Grammar problem type ID:11

× There are a number of vegetable sellers and fruit sellers who stand near the UH roadside and makes it easier for shoppers walkers to shop along.

✓ There are a number of vegetable and fruit sellers who stand near the roadside and make it easier for shoppers and walkers to buy things.

Subject 'sellers' is plural, so verb should be 'make' not 'makes' (subject-verb agreement). Combine 'vegetable and fruit sellers' to be concise, remove 'UH' which seems extraneous, and use 'shoppers and walkers' with appropriate conjunction and clearer verb 'buy things.' Grammar problem type ID:27

× Lately I haven't been for a walk but I am trying to visit the gym quite frequently.

✓ Lately I haven't been for a walk, but I have been trying to go to the gym quite frequently.

Use present perfect continuous 'have been trying' to show recent repeated action. 'Visit the gym' is acceptable but 'go to the gym' is more natural. Add a comma before 'but.' Grammar problem type ID:9

× I have joined this gym session where it's important that my weight and strength training is important when compared to walking.

✓ I have joined a gym program where weight and strength training are considered more important than walking.

Avoid repetition of 'important.' Use plural verb 'are' to agree with 'weight and strength training.' 'When compared to' is wordy; use 'more important than.' Grammar problem type ID:26

× I prefer losing weight. Losing weight you by working out in gyms rather than going for a walk.

✓ I prefer losing weight by working out in gyms rather than by going for a walk.

Original has incorrect word order and stray pronoun 'you.' Combine into one clear sentence: 'I prefer losing weight by working out in gyms rather than by going for a walk.' Use parallel 'by' phrases for clarity. Grammar problem type ID:15