Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve accuracy and fluency: correct factual errors (e.g. 'tours' → 'hours' or 'turns' or 'minutes') and avoid filler words. Make the response more concise and natural by using one clear reason and one supporting detail. Include a linking word to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I do. I walk to university every day, which gives me about 30 minutes of walking each way. Because walking improves my fitness and clears my mind, I try to walk whenever possible.

提案: Work on tense consistency and sentence structure. Use past tense correctly and avoid repetitions and hesitations. Provide a specific example or frequency to make the answer concrete, and use a linking word to add detail.

例: Yes, I did. When I was a child I often walked to the park with my friends, usually two or three times a week, because we liked playing games and exploring nearby paths.

提案: Reduce hesitations and correct minor grammar errors (e.g. 'you it helps' → 'it helps'). Give a more specific reason or example about park features (trees, fresh air) and use linking words to connect ideas.

例: People like to walk in parks because they are peaceful and full of greenery. Moreover, walking among trees and fresh air can reduce stress and improve mood, especially after a busy day.

提案: Clarify the place name and remove fillers. Structure your answer with a topic sentence and one or two specific reasons (scenery, facilities). Also correct minor grammar errors ('a so beautiful place' → 'a very beautiful place').

例: I would like to take a long walk in Sangardak, which is a beautiful park in Sarasota. It has scenic trails and lakes, so I could relax and enjoy the views for several hours.

提案: Be specific about time and place, and complete the sentence. Avoid vague phrases like 'everywhere with transport.' Use past tense and give a clear reason for walking (e.g. short distance, nice weather).

例: Recently I went to the cinema with a friend, and afterwards we walked home because the weather was nice and the cinema was only a short distance away.

× I walk about tours a day.

✓ I walk about four or five hours a day.

The original uses 'tours' which is incorrect; likely intended 'hours' or 'turns'. This is a plural noun misuse and wrong word choice. Use a clear plural noun 'hours' with a quantity phrase 'about four or five' to make sense and match subject context. Suggestion: specify a correct time/unit noun and a number: 'about four hours a day'.

× I think, you know, walking is so helpful for my health.

✓ I think walking is very helpful for my health.

The sentence is understandable but contains informal fillers and awkward modifier 'so' with 'helpful'. This is a present tense statement; use a clearer adverb 'very' and remove unnecessary fillers to improve grammar and register. Suggestion: keep present simple with subject 'walking' + 'is' + adjective.

× For this reason, I try to walk more every day.

✓ For this reason, I try to walk more every day.

This sentence is grammatically correct in present tense; no change needed. It uses present simple for habitual action. (Included for completeness.)

× When I was a child I really liked walking, especially when I meet uh with my friends.

✓ When I was a child I really liked walking, especially when I met my friends.

The context is past so verbs should be past tense. 'meet' is present; change to 'met'. Also remove filler 'uh' and redundant 'with'. Suggestion: use simple past verbs consistently in recollections.

× I go out I very often and on walk a lot.

✓ I went out very often and went on a lot of walks.

The original mixes present and awkward structure. For past habit use past tense 'went out' and rephrase 'went on a lot of walks' or 'walked a lot'. Corrects word order and verb tense consistency. Suggestion: use subject-verb order 'I went out' and collocate 'went on a walk' or 'took walks'.

× I think parks are so peaceful umm, places and for this reason, uh, walking there is enjoyable.

✓ I think parks are very peaceful places, so walking there is enjoyable.

Reduce filler words and fix adverb/adjective usage: 'so peaceful places' is awkward; use 'very peaceful places' and connect clauses with 'so' for cause-effect. Maintain present simple for general truth. Suggestion: remove fillers and combine sentences smoothly.

× When you walk in parks you it helps reduce umm, your stress level.

✓ When you walk in parks, it helps reduce your stress level.

Original has extraneous pronoun 'you it' causing structure error. Remove 'you' or 'it' to form a correct clause. Use comma after subordinate clause and remove filler 'umm'. Suggestion: choose either 'When you walk in parks, you reduce your stress level' or 'When you walk in parks, it helps reduce your stress level.'

× There is this phone, please, I really walk there.

✓ There is this place, please; I really like to walk there.

'phone' is likely wrong word; context indicates 'place'. Original lacks clarity and proper verb collocation. Use 'like to walk' for preference. Also punctuation adjustment and removal of 'please' as filler. Suggestion: choose correct noun 'place' and common verb phrase 'like to walk there'.

× Uh, it is Sangardak because, uh, it is a lovely place, uh, to enjoy and, uh, relax.

✓ It is Sangardak because it is a lovely place to enjoy and relax.

Remove filler 'uh' and unnecessary commas. Use infinitives 'to enjoy and relax' correctly; prepositions are fine but fillers interrupt flow. Streamline sentence. Suggestion: say 'a lovely place to enjoy and relax'.

× It is located uh, in Sarasota and it is so beautiful place.

✓ It is located in Sarasota, and it is a very beautiful place.

Remove filler 'uh'. Need article 'a' before 'very beautiful place'. Also add comma before 'and' to join independent clauses. Correct preposition 'in' is fine. Suggestion: include indefinite article and adverb 'very' instead of 'so' for formal speech.

× Last time I went to cinema with my friend and we decided to walk because.

✓ Last time I went to the cinema with my friend, and we decided to walk afterwards.

Use past tense consistently and include definite article 'the' before 'cinema'. The original ends with 'because' incorrectly; replace with 'afterwards' or provide a reason. Also add comma for clause separation. Suggestion: say 'went to the cinema' and finish the thought: 'we decided to walk afterwards.'

× Umm, we went to everywhere with transport and we decided to walk one more time.

✓ We had gone everywhere by transport, and we decided to walk one more time.

'went to everywhere' is incorrect; use 'gone everywhere' or 'been everywhere'. Use preposition 'by' with means of transport: 'by transport' or better 'by public transport'/'by car'. Also use past perfect or simple past consistently: 'we had gone' or 'we went'. Suggest 'We had gone everywhere by public transport, so we decided to walk one more time.' Suggestion: use 'by' for transport and correct verb phrases 'gone everywhere'.