Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and keep sentences short. Start with a clear topic sentence about current habit (avoid tense confusion), then add one or two specific benefits with linking words. Correct grammar (tense, pronouns) and avoid redundancy.

例: Yes, I walk regularly, especially in the park near my village. Walking improved my fitness and lifted my mood, because it gave me regular exercise and time to relax outdoors.

提案: Answer directly about the past using correct past tense, give a brief supporting detail about frequency or who you walked with, and avoid repeating phrases. Use a linking word to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I often walked outside as a child. I went to the village park several times a week and usually strolled there with my parents and siblings.

提案: Provide clear, specific reasons and use accurate vocabulary (e.g., 'fresh air' not 'fridge air'). Use linking words to organise reasons and give one concise personal example in correct tense.

例: People like parks because of the greenery and fresh air, which help them unwind. In addition, parks provide a quiet space for conversation, so families can connect. For example, I used to walk there regularly with my family.

提案: Begin with a clear conditional sentence, then give two specific features of the place. Use correct nouns (e.g., 'trails', 'open spaces') and simpler structure to avoid errors. Keep it within three sentences.

例: If I had the chance, I would walk in Binja Park near my house. It is large with winding trails and open spaces, so it is perfect for exercising and walking pets. The fresh air there is very refreshing.

提案: Use correct simple past tense and avoid unclear phrases. Give a concise reason why you went and one specific effect. Avoid mixing tenses and emotional descriptions in a confused way.

例: Lately I went for a walk in Winter Park. I felt stressed after a busy week, so the walk helped me relax and improved my mood.

× Yes, I walk a lot when I was young and I really like and enjoyed when they're in the park in my village and it's gave me a lot of health benefits such as your health will be good and it improve my personality as well.

✓ Yes, I walked a lot when I was young, and I really liked going to the park in my village; it gave me many health benefits, such as better health and improved personality.

Multiple past tense errors and inconsistent tense use: 'walk' should be past tense 'walked' because the time frame is 'when I was young'. 'I really like and enjoyed' mixes present and past; use past 'liked' and a gerund for activity 'going to the park'. 'they're' is incorrect pronoun for 'parks' and unnecessary; remove it. 'it's gave' uses incorrect auxiliary; correct form is 'it gave'. 'such as your health will be good and it improve my personality' mixes future and present and wrong verb forms; change to 'such as better health and improved personality' for parallel, concise past-result expression. Suggestion: keep verb tenses consistent (past) and use gerunds for activities after verbs like 'liked'.

× Yes, as I have answered previously, I really like to walk in the park at my village and I really like to render it around and spend that time with my family.

✓ Yes, as I answered previously, I really liked walking in the park in my village and I enjoyed walking around and spending that time with my family.

Tense inconsistency and word choice: 'as I have answered previously' is awkward; in this conversational past context 'as I answered previously' or 'as I said before' is better. 'I really like to walk' should be past 'I really liked walking' to match past narrative. 'render it around' is incorrect collocation; use 'walk around' or 'stroll around'. Use gerund forms 'walking around' and 'spending' for parallel structure. Suggestion: maintain past tense and use natural collocations like 'walk around' or 'stroll'.

× I think it's because of the greenery and the fridge air.

✓ I think it's because of the greenery and the fresh air.

Word choice error: 'fridge air' is incorrect; likely intended 'fresh air'. Use the adjective 'fresh' to describe air. Suggestion: check similar-sounding words and choose correct adjective for context ('fresh', 'clean').

× For example, I often walk around in the park with my family when I was young.

✓ For example, I often walked around in the park with my family when I was young.

Tense inconsistency: 'often walk' is present simple but 'when I was young' requires past simple 'walked'. Change verb to past 'walked' to match time frame. Suggestion: align verb tense with temporal markers like 'when I was...'.

× If I had a chance I would take a long walk in Binja Park, British, near my house and quite large is a great place to bring pets because there are rocking trails and open bronze so you can relax, get some exercise and also enjoy the fresh air which is really beneficial for both people and animal.

✓ If I had the chance, I would take a long walk in Binja Park, which is near my house in Britain and is quite large. It is a great place to bring pets because there are walking trails and open areas, so you can relax, get some exercise, and enjoy the fresh air, which is beneficial for both people and animals.

Multiple issues: sentence fragments and word choice errors. 'If I had a chance' is acceptable but 'the chance' is more natural. 'Binja Park, British' is incorrect; use 'in Britain' or 'in my town in Britain'. 'and quite large is a great place' is scrambled; split into clear clauses. 'rocking trails' should be 'walking trails'; 'open bronze' is wrong—likely 'open spaces' or 'open areas'. Subject-verb agreement 'animal' -> plural 'animals'. Suggestion: break long sentences into clearer clauses, correct vocabulary, and ensure noun plurality matches general meaning. Maintain conditional tense 'would take'.

× Lately I went for a walk at Winter Park as well and I was happy and enjoyed the fresh air at that time.

✓ Recently I went for a walk at Winter Park and I was happy and enjoyed the fresh air then.

Word choice and adverb placement: 'Lately' is more natural with present perfect but past simple 'went' pairs better with 'recently'. 'at that time' is awkward; 'then' is concise. Maintain past tense consistency. Suggestion: use 'recently' with past simple, or use present perfect ('I have gone') with 'lately'.

× As I have answered you previously, I also being depressed together so I had some exercise at that time and I enjoy more after the tough work of week.

✓ As I said previously, I was feeling depressed, so I did some exercise then and I felt better after a tough week of work.

Tense and form errors: 'As I have answered you previously' is awkward; 'As I said previously' is simpler. 'I also being depressed together' is ungrammatical—use past continuous or simple past 'I was feeling depressed' or 'I felt depressed'. 'I had some exercise at that time' -> 'I did some exercise then'. 'I enjoy more after the tough work of week' mixes tenses and articles; use past 'I felt better after a tough week of work'. Suggestion: use correct verb forms (was feeling/did) and proper articles ('a tough week of work').