Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, use correct verbs and sentence structure, and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence about how often you walk, then add one brief supporting detail with correct grammar and linking words.

例: Yes, I walk quite often. I usually walk to work because I live in an older, nearby neighbourhood, so it’s convenient. For example, I took my cat for a walk yesterday, and I try to walk whenever the weather is dry.

提案: Use past tense and clear linking words. Give a direct topic sentence in past tense, then one or two specific supporting details about when and why you walked as a child.

例: Yes, I often went for walks when I was a child. My family had a tradition of walking after dinner, which helped us relax and spend time together, strengthening our relationships.

提案: Begin with a general reason, use natural vocabulary, and connect ideas with linking phrases. Add a brief personal example that explains the benefit more clearly.

例: People like walking in parks because they offer fresh air and a peaceful natural setting. For example, I walk in the park three times a week because the quiet atmosphere helps me concentrate and de-stress.

提案: Use conditional grammar correctly and be specific about the place and reasons. Avoid incorrect facts and unclear measurements; instead describe what appeals to you and who you would go with.

例: If I had the chance, I would like to take a long walk on the MacLehose Trail in Hong Kong. I’ve heard the trail has beautiful coastal and mountain views, so I would go with friends to enjoy the scenery and get some exercise.

提案: Answer in the past tense for a recent activity and organise sentences clearly. Give one clear statement about your routine then describe the most recent walk with specific, correct details and linking words.

例: Lately I have been walking in local parks about three times a week. For instance, yesterday evening I took my cat for a half-hour walk through paths and grassy areas; the cat was very curious about the outdoors.

× Definitely I weary into work.

✓ Definitely I walk to work.

The student used 'weary into' incorrectly. The verb 'walk' is the correct present tense verb for the habitual action. Use 'walk to work' to express commuting by foot. Also add the subject and verb in correct order: 'I walk to work.'

× I taught my cat out for work yesterday because I lived in an old residential area.

✓ I took my cat out for a walk yesterday because I lived in an old residential area.

The student used 'taught' incorrectly instead of the past tense of 'take' which is 'took.' Also 'out for work' is incorrect; the phrase for walking an animal is 'out for a walk.' Maintain past tense 'took' and use the idiomatic phrase 'out for a walk.'

× It is convenient out for a walk.

✓ It is convenient for a walk.

The placement of 'out' is incorrect. Say 'convenient for a walk' or better 'convenient for walking.' Use the preposition 'for' to show purpose and remove the misplaced 'out.'

× Umm, actually I go for a walk whenever it doesn't rain.

✓ Umm, actually I go for a walk whenever it doesn't rain.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable. It correctly uses the present simple for habitual action and the negative present for weather. No change needed.

× As a child, I like to go for work with my family we go for work after dinner is without my family's traditions it helps arms build stronger connections and improve our.

✓ As a child, I liked to go for walks with my family. We went for walks after dinner; it was my family's tradition. It helped us build stronger connections and improve our relationships.

Multiple errors: tense consistency (use past tense 'liked' and 'went' for childhood), wrong phrase 'go for work' -> 'go for walks', run-on sentence lacking punctuation and conjunctions, incorrect phrasing 'is without my family's traditions' should be 'it was my family's tradition,' and 'helps arms build' is incorrect—use 'helped us build' and specify 'relationships.' Break into clearer sentences and keep past tense.

× Merely because it is full of fresh air and natural atmosphere.

✓ Mainly because it is full of fresh air and has a natural atmosphere.

'Merely' is the wrong adverb; 'mainly' or 'mostly' fits the reason. Also use 'has a natural atmosphere' to make a complete clause. This makes the sentence clearer and grammatically correct.

× For example, I like to go for a walk, a walk three times a week.

✓ For example, I like to go for a walk three times a week.

Redundant phrase 'a walk, a walk' should be simplified. Present simple 'I like' is fine for habitual preference. Combine into one clear clause.

× If I have a chance to take a long walk, I would like to go to Hong Kong, take a long walk in macro trail, because the macros trail have 100 kilograms, then I can take the long road with my friends and we can.

✓ If I had the chance to take a long walk, I would like to go to Hong Kong and walk the MacLehose Trail because the trail is very long. Then I could walk the long route with my friends.

Use the second conditional for an unreal or unlikely present/future condition: 'If I had... I would...' Correct the trail name to 'MacLehose Trail' and replace 'have 100 kilograms' (nonsense) with 'is very long' or a correct length. Fix subject-verb agreement ('trail is') and modal consistency ('could'). Complete the final clause so it ends properly.

× I often out for a walk three times a week in parks.

✓ I often go out for a walk three times a week in parks.

Missing verb 'go.' The correct habitual expression is 'go out for a walk.' Keep present simple for routine actions.

× Actually I took my cat out for a walk yesterday.

✓ Actually, I took my cat out for a walk yesterday.

This sentence is correct apart from a missing comma after 'Actually.' The past tense 'took' is appropriate. Add the comma for natural pause and clarity.

× Evenings I check it like a baby and the cat is full of curiously about the outdoors and we spend half an hour walking crossing gyms and paths.

✓ In the evenings I watch it like a baby; the cat is full of curiosity about the outdoors and we spend half an hour walking across lawns and paths.

Errors: 'Evenings' needs 'In the evenings' for correct adverbial phrase; 'check it like a baby' should be 'watch it like a baby' or 'look after it like a baby.' 'Full of curiously' should be 'full of curiosity.' 'Walking crossing gyms' likely meant 'across lawns' or 'ground'—replace with 'across lawns and paths.' Improve punctuation and sentence flow.