Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, reduce redundancy, and make the answer more concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and articles, and give one brief supporting detail with a linking word. Avoid repeating the question.

例: Yes, I walk almost every day. I find walking relaxes my mind and relieves stress, so it helps me stay calm after a busy day.

提案: Fix past tense and clarity: answer directly, use correct past forms and avoid hesitations. Provide one clear reason and a short example. Use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I often went outside to walk when I was a child because I enjoyed outdoor activities. For example, I used to explore nearby fields and play games with friends, which was great fun.

提案: Correct vocabulary and repetition, and make the sentence more fluent. Use linking words and a concise structure: state the main reason, then give a supporting detail. Replace incorrect words (e.g., 'work' -> 'walk', 'realize' -> 'release').

例: People like walking in parks because they offer fresh air and many trees, which help to reduce stress. In addition, the peaceful environment makes it easier to unwind after a busy day.

提案: Clarify place name and correct grammar. State the location clearly, use natural phrasing, and give a specific reason or image. Avoid fillers and unclear words ('Hank', 'wheels').

例: If I had the chance, I would like to take a long walk in the mountains because the trails are challenging and offer beautiful views, such as waterfalls and valleys along the way.

提案: Use correct verb tense and reduce repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence in past or present perfect, then give two concise reasons with linking words. Correct subject-verb agreement and remove extra words.

例: I recently went for a walk in Compass Park. It is very close to my home, and because it has plenty of trees, it offers fresh air that helps me relax.

× I basically walk everyday because it relax my mind and relieves my stress to help me stay calm after starting.

✓ I basically walk every day because it relaxes my mind and relieves my stress, helping me stay calm afterwards.

Subject-verb agreement and present tense form: 'walk' is fine but the verbs referring to 'it' need third person singular 'relaxes' and 'relieves'. Use 'every day' as two words for frequency. Use participle phrase 'helping me stay calm afterwards' for clearer connection and correct adverb form 'afterwards'.

× Yes, I often went outside for work when I was child because I'm uh, uh be because I enjoy the outdoor activities.

✓ Yes, I often went outside to play when I was a child because I enjoyed outdoor activities.

Tense consistency and word choice: Use 'was a child' with article 'a'. Change 'for work' to 'to play' if referring to childhood walks; if not, use appropriate verb. Keep past tense 'enjoyed' to match 'often went'. Remove filler words and correct article usage.

× So walking helps me to have fun and.

✓ So walking helps me have fun.

Sentence fragment: Remove the trailing 'and' and adjust infinitive use. 'Helps me have fun' is idiomatic; no 'to' is needed after 'helps'.

× I think people like to work in the park because parks offer fresh air and plenty of trees which can help, which can help people to relax and realize their stress, especially after a busy day.

✓ I think people like to walk in the park because parks offer fresh air and plenty of trees, which can help people relax and relieve their stress, especially after a busy day.

Word choice and redundancy: 'work' should be 'walk'. Remove duplicate 'which can help'. Use 'help people relax' (no 'to') and 'relieve their stress' rather than 'realize their stress' which is incorrect collocation.

× If I had the chance, I would like to go Hank in the mountains, umm, because walking in the mountains, uh, is challenge and you can see, uh, different wheels along the way.

✓ If I had the chance, I would like to go hiking in the mountains, because walking in the mountains is challenging and you can see different wildlife along the way.

Word choice and adjective form: 'Hank' corrected to 'hiking'. Use adjective 'challenging' after 'is'. 'Wheels' likely intended 'wildlife'—use correct noun. Remove fillers for clarity.

× I've been working in Compass Park.

✓ I've been walking in Compass Park.

Verb choice: Context asks where you went for a walk; use 'walking' instead of 'working'. Present perfect continuous 'I've been walking' is appropriate to describe recent activity.

× First, it's very close to where I live. Second, there are four of there are plenty of trees so it offer fresh air to help me relax.

✓ First, it's very close to where I live. Second, there are plenty of trees, so it offers fresh air to help me relax.

Remove duplicated phrase 'there are four of there are'. Subject-verb agreement: 'it offers' (third person singular). Use comma before 'so' and correct plural 'trees' with 'plenty of'.