Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 句子多次出现语法和用词错误，且表达重复。回答应更直接并在最多五句内完成。注意动词选择（walk 而不是 work），避免冗余并使用连接词使逻辑连贯。例如：先给出直接回答，再提供一两个具体原因并用连接词衔接，最后一句总结。

例: Yes, I walk a lot, especially in the local park because it is quiet and has clean air. Also, walking is a good form of exercise that keeps me fit and reduces stress. For these reasons, I usually walk there several times a week.

提案: 时态、从句结构和词序存在问题，信息具体但表达不够简洁。按照规则：先回答，然后用一两个具体细节支持，并用恰当时态和连接词。避免重复“usually”。

例: Yes, I did. When I was in junior high, I often walked around the neighborhood with my friends, which made me feel happy and connected. Sometimes we would also walk along the seaside and enjoy the fresh air.

提案: 回答内容较好但有词汇错误（working→walking，sceneries 用法可改进）。可以用更自然的表达并加入连接词。细节可更具体，如举例哪些活动或景物。

例: I think people like walking in parks for several reasons. Firstly, parks offer fresh air and a peaceful environment that benefit physical health. Moreover, attractive features like flowers, ponds and trees improve mood and encourage people to relax or exercise.

提案: 回答含糊且语法严重错误，很多不完整的短语（例如“sign up”、“straw around”）。需要先直接回答地点，再给出两到三个清晰具体的理由，使用正确词汇和完整句子。

例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk along the southern coastline of my country because it has beautiful beaches and stunning sunrises. Walking there would let me enjoy fresh sea air, peaceful scenery and picturesque sunsets.

提案: 句子结构混乱，短语使用错误（brush the clean air, stressed over friendship），多处不完整。应先直接回答地点和时间，然后用一两句说明做了什么、感觉如何并用连接词总结。避免矛盾词语。

例: I went to the local park yesterday with some friends. We sat on the grass, chatted and enjoyed the fresh air, which helped me relax after a busy day.

× I particularly enjoy working in the local park where the atmosphere is quiet and places.

✓ I particularly enjoy walking in the local park where the atmosphere is quiet and peaceful.

句中使用了"working"和不完整的名词"places"，在此处應使用描述動作的動詞"walk/ walking"和形容詞來修飾氣氛。错误類型屬於形容詞/副詞使用不當。建議：用適合語境的動詞（walk/walking）並用形容詞如"quiet"或"peaceful"來描述公園氛圍。

× I think it not only can provide me with clean air but also working as a sport.

✓ I think it can not only provide me with clean air but also serve as a form of exercise.

原句語序和詞類使用不正確（"not only can" 的位置以及"working as a sport"不合適）。屬於情態動詞/語序使用問題。建議把"can"放在主語後（can not only provide），並用名詞短語如"serve as a form of exercise"替代不正確的表達。

× It can help my body healthy and balanced, which really can make me more healthy, so I usually work.

✓ It can help keep my body healthy and balanced, which really makes me healthier, so I usually walk.

原句中"help my body healthy"缺少不定式或動詞形式，應為"help keep my body healthy"；"make me more healthy"應為比較級"healthier"；最後的動詞"work"用錯，應為"walk"。這些屬於形容詞/副詞使用及詞類選擇錯誤。建議使用固定搭配如"help keep sb. + adj."和比較級形式。

× Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child? Student: Yes, absolutely. I usually go outside to have a walk.

✓ Yes, absolutely. I usually went outside for a walk.

問句使用過去時（"when you were a child"），回答也應使用過去時，原句使用現在時"usually go"不一致，屬於時態使用錯誤。建議把動詞改為過去時"went"並使用常見搭配"for a walk"。

× When I was a little girl who was study in junior high school, I usually hung out with my friends on the street which really can made me feel connected and lifted my mood.

✓ When I was a little girl studying in junior high school, I usually hung out with my friends on the street, which really made me feel connected and lifted my mood.

"who was study"語法錯誤，應使用現在分詞作定語"studying"；"which really can made"混合了情態和過去式，應為過去式"made"。屬於代詞/從句和時態混用錯誤。建議用現在分詞簡化定語從句，並統一使用過去時態。

× Sometimes I also hung out by the seaside.

✓ Sometimes I also hung out by the seaside.

此句語法正確，僅重複確認。無需修改。

× To be honest, I think there are several reasons that people enjoy working in parks.

✓ To be honest, I think there are several reasons why people enjoy walking in parks.

應使用動詞"walk/walking"而非"working"；引導原因從句常用"reasons why"。屬於詞類使用不當及從句連接詞使用問題。建議用"walking"並加上"why"來表達原因。

× The one reason is that parks can provide clean air with people, which really can make their body healthy and balanced.

✓ One reason is that parks can provide clean air, which can really make people healthier and more balanced.

原句中"with people"多餘且不自然；"make their body healthy and balanced"措辭不地道，應改為"make people healthier and more balanced"。屬於形容詞/副詞使用及冗餘短語。建議刪除多餘成分並使用比較級。

× Another reason is that there are many beautiful flowers and breathtaking sceneries in the parks, which can lift people's mood.

✓ Another reason is that there are many beautiful flowers and breathtaking scenery in parks, which can lift people's moods.

"sceneries"通常不可數，應用單數形式"scenery"；"mood"在此處多數化更自然為"moods"。屬於形容詞/名詞使用不當。建議使用不可數名詞"scenery"及恰當的複數形式。

× To be honest, I'd like to choose to sign up, which was located on the South part of our country, because it not only have the beautiful seaside, I can visit the breathtaking sunrise and sunset every day, straw around the seaside hanging out on the street, but also it can it.

✓ To be honest, I'd like to sign up for a trip to a place located in the southern part of our country, because it not only has a beautiful seaside where I can watch breathtaking sunrises and sunsets every day and stroll along the shore, but also offers other attractions.

原句有多處問題："choose to sign up"結構不自然；"South part"應為"southern part"；"have"主謂不一致；"straw"應為"stroll"；句尾不完整。屬於介詞/詞組和動詞用法錯誤。建議用固定搭配如"sign up for"、方向形容詞"southern"、動詞"has"和"stroll"，並把句子重組為完整句。

× Where did you go for a walk lately? Student: Just yesterday I went to the local park to brush the clean air and hung out with my friends on the grass which really made me feel connected and stressed over friendship.

✓ Just yesterday I went to the local park to breathe the clean air and hung out with my friends on the grass, which really made me feel connected and relieved stress about friendships.

原句中"brush the clean air"用詞錯誤，正確應為"breathe the clean air"；"stressed over friendship"表達不自然，改為"relieved stress about friendships"或"relieved stress"更合適。屬於時態混用和詞彙選擇不當。建議使用正確動詞"breathe"和自然搭配。

× I think it it was cannot only made me feel unwind especially after busy day but also.

✓ I think it not only helped me unwind, especially after a busy day, but also had other benefits.

原句語序混亂，重複單詞("it it")，混合否定結構和過去式不當（"was cannot only made"），句子不完整。屬於句子結構錯誤。建議重構為標準的"not only... but also..."結構，注意動詞時態一致並補全句子內容。