Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence about how often you walk, then give one or two specific reasons or examples. Use correct verb tenses and avoid repetitions. Link ideas with simple connectors (for example, 'because' or 'and').

例: Yes, I walk a lot. I walk to my office every weekday, which takes about 20 minutes each way, and I often go for a long walk in the park at weekends because it helps me relax and stay healthy.

提案: Answer clearly about past habits using past tense and a simple structure: a topic sentence followed by specific examples. Correct obvious word choices and tense errors, and keep it to two or three sentences.

例: Yes, I often walked outside when I was a child. I usually walked to school with my friends on weekdays, and at weekends we explored the neighbourhood to find new places to play.

提案: Give a direct opinion sentence and then add two specific reasons using correct nouns and verbs. Use linking words like 'first' and 'second' or 'because' to make your answer coherent. Avoid incorrect word forms (e.g. 'walking' not 'logging').

例: I think people like walking in parks for two main reasons. First, it is a cheap and pleasant way to relax; second, walking is an easy form of exercise that improves physical and mental health.

提案: Use a clear conditional sentence and then give specific reasons. Use correct collocations (e.g. 'go for a long walk', 'fresh air', 'improve my physical wellbeing') and avoid awkward phrasing. Keep it to two sentences maximum.

例: If I had the chance, I would go for a long walk in a national park because I love natural scenery and fresh air. It would lift my mood and be good for my physical wellbeing.

提案: Use past tense to describe a recent event and give specific details (where, who, what happened). Replace vague words with precise ones and avoid filler sounds. Keep it to two or three concise sentences.

例: I recently went for a walk in the park near my house with my young son. We walked along the pond and he enjoyed watching the ducks, which made the outing very pleasant.

× I was there on my daily life.

✓ I walk every day.

The original sentence has incorrect verb and preposition use and unnatural phrasing. 'I was there on my daily life' mixes past 'was' with a noun phrase 'daily life' and 'there' is unclear. The correct simple present 'I walk every day' matches the question about habitual action. Use 'every day' for frequency and present simple for routines.

× I walk lost because I have to walk to my office and on the weekend.

✓ I walk a lot because I have to walk to my office, and I also walk on the weekend.

The original used 'lost' instead of 'a lot' (word choice) and had tense and connector issues. Use present simple 'walk' for habitual actions. Separate ideas with commas and conjunctions and repeat the verb if needed for clarity.

× I also love walking in the parks because it's helped me relax and also I fight.

✓ I also love walking in parks because it helps me relax, and I enjoy it.

'It's helped me' mixes present perfect with a general habit; present simple 'helps' is appropriate. 'I fight' is incorrect word choice; likely meant 'I find it refreshing' or 'I enjoy it.' Use clear conjunctions and consistent tense.

× It's one it's one a good way to improve my general health.

✓ It's a good way to improve my general health.

Redundant phrases 'It's one it's one a' make the sentence ungrammatical. Use a single determiner 'a' and present simple 'is' for general statements.

× As it remembers, I went to work a lot, especially on the weekday because I had to walk to school with friends, and also on the weekend we lived to go outside and walk around the neighborhood to explore new things.

✓ As I remember, I went out a lot, especially on weekdays because I had to walk to school with friends. On weekends we liked to go outside and walk around the neighborhood to explore new things.

'As it remembers' is incorrect; use 'As I remember'. 'Went to work' conflicts with 'walk to school' so 'went out' fits context. 'Weekday' should be plural 'weekdays'. 'Lived to go' is wrong; use 'liked to go'. Break into two sentences for clarity.

× I personally think that most people like logging in a park because it's one of the cheapest way for relax and another reason is working is one of the easiest way for exercise and it's also help them.

✓ I personally think that most people like walking in a park because it's one of the cheapest ways to relax. Another reason is that walking is one of the easiest forms of exercise and it also helps them.

'Logging' is wrong word choice; use 'walking'. Use plural 'ways' and the infinitive 'to relax'. 'Working' should be 'walking' and 'one of the easiest ways/forms of exercise'. 'Helps' needs third-person singular present 'helps' to agree with 'it'.

× If I had a chance to go for a long while, I would take a National Park because I love natural environments and a fresh air.

✓ If I had the chance to go for a long walk, I would go to a national park because I love natural environments and fresh air.

Use conditional form correctly: 'If I had the chance' (not 'a chance') and 'go for a long walk' (not 'a long while'). Use 'go to a national park' rather than 'take a National Park'. 'Fresh air' does not need an article.

× I think this will not just help me to improve my mood but also is against my physical Wellness.

✓ I think this will not only help improve my mood but also benefit my physical wellness.

'Not just... but also' should be 'not only... but also'. 'Help improve' is more natural than 'help me to improve'. 'Is against my physical Wellness' is incorrect; use 'benefit my physical wellness'.

× I recently go for a walk at the park near my house with my little son.

✓ I recently went for a walk in the park near my house with my little son.

The adverb 'recently' indicates past time, so use simple past 'went', not present 'go'. Use 'in the park' rather than 'at the park' for general location.

× We went, uh, along the points and we faced some ducks which he was very happy and I think it's very good.

✓ We walked along the path and we saw some ducks; he was very happy, and I thought it was very nice.

'Along the points' is unclear; likely 'along the path'. 'Faced some ducks' is incorrect; use 'saw' for encountering animals. 'Which he was very happy' should be split: 'he was very happy'. Use past tense consistently ('thought', 'was') to match 'recently went'. 'Very good' is vague; 'very nice' is more natural.