Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cümlenin yapısını sadeleştir ve tekrarlardan kaçın. Konuya doğrudan cevap vererek başlayıp, ardından iki kısa destekleyici detay ekle (nedeni ve bir örnek). Bağlaçları kullanarak akışı iyileştir (for example, because, so). Ayrıca artikeller ve çoğul kullanımı üzerinde çalış: "every local market" yerine "local markets" veya "every local market" gibi doğru formu kullan.

例: Yes, I walk a lot because local markets and shops are very close to my house, so I can go everywhere on foot. For example, I often walk to the bakery and the supermarket, which are both within a five-minute walk.

提案: Geçmişten bahsederken zamanları tutarlı kullan (past simple). Tekrarlayan dolgu kelimeleri (uh, um) azalt. Cevabı doğrudan bir konu cümlesiyle başlat ve iki kısa destekleyici neden veya örnek ver. Ayrıca yanlış fiil formlarını düzelt: "I always walked" veya "I used to walk" daha doğru.

例: Yes, I used to go for walks often when I was a child because I enjoyed running around the neighbourhood. For example, I would walk to the nearby park with my friends almost every afternoon.

提案: Daha kesin ve doğal ifadeler kullan. Fikirleri bağlantı sözcükleri ile düzenle (for exercise, because, also). Gereksiz tekrarları çıkar ve daha spesifik nedenler ver (fresh air, scenery, relaxation). Cümleleri 2-3 kısa cümle ile sınırlı tut.

例: People often walk in parks for exercise because the green space makes it pleasant to be active. Also, parks are good for socialising — you can chat with friends while enjoying fresh air and nice views.

提案: Doğru edatlar ve artikelleri kullan (on the beach değil "in a beach" yerine "on a beach"). Fikirleri net ve kısa cümlelerle ifade et; nedenleri iki kısa detayla destekle (relaxation, views, thinking). Gereksiz tekrarları kaldır.

例: I would like to take a long walk on a beach because it is very relaxing and peaceful. For example, walking along the shore would let me enjoy the sea views and clear my mind.

提案: Cümleleri doğrudan ve net kur; tekrarları çıkar. Geçmiş zamanı tutarlı kullan (I went, I walked). Bir konu cümlesiyle başla, ardından iki kısa destekleyici detay ver (konum, kiminle olduğun ve ne yaptığınız). Gereksiz tekrar eden ifadeleri kaldır.

例: I went to a park near my house last weekend, which is within walking distance. I went with my friends and we enjoyed walking together and chatting on the paths.

× Yes, I walk a lot because in my neighborhood every local markets are things like that are really close to each other and my house is middle on my neighborhood and we can walk everywhere.

✓ Yes, I walk a lot because in my neighborhood every local market is really close to each other and my house is in the middle of the neighborhood, so we can walk everywhere.

The original has multiple subject-verb agreement and article/preposition issues. 'Every local markets are' mixes 'every' (requires singular) with plural 'markets' and uses plural verb 'are'; correct is 'every local market is'. 'My house is middle on my neighborhood' uses wrong prepositions and missing articles; correct is 'in the middle of the neighborhood'. Suggestions: match 'every' with a singular noun, use singular verb, and use standard prepositions 'in the middle of'.

× I always walked when I was a child because I want to run, especially I want to run and uh, we are living uh, same house when I was born and then uh, I was prefer, I preferred uh, to walk.

✓ I always walked when I was a child because I wanted to run, especially I wanted to run, and we lived in the same house since I was born. I preferred to walk.

Mixed tenses and incorrect verb forms. The sentence refers to past habits and background, so use past tense: 'want' -> 'wanted', 'are living' -> 'lived', 'when I was born' fits with 'lived', and 'was prefer' is wrong; correct is 'preferred'. Suggestions: keep past tense consistently for childhood descriptions and use past simple or past continuous appropriately.

× I think, uh, they uh, want to do sports, they want active life.

✓ I think they want to do sports; they want an active life.

Missing article before 'active life' and punctuation. 'Active life' needs the indefinite article 'an'. Also combine ideas clearly: use a semicolon or separate sentences. Suggestion: add articles where required and simplify filler words.

× And I think, uh, when you're walking, uh, you are chatting with your friends and I think it's enjoyable and I like it.

✓ And I think when you walk, you can chat with your friends; it's enjoyable and I like it.

Mixed present continuous and general statement. For habitual/general truths use simple present 'walk' and 'chat' rather than continuous forms. Suggestion: use simple present for general facts and reduce filler words.

× I would like to take a long walk in a beach because it's very relaxing and I think it's comfortable because you can see and you can just thinking all of, uh, thing.

✓ I would like to take a long walk on a beach because it's very relaxing and comfortable, and you can just think about things.

Use 'on a beach' rather than 'in a beach'. 'Thinking all of thing' is ungrammatical: use 'think about things'. Also remove redundant 'I think it's'. Suggestion: use correct prepositions ('on' for beach), say 'think about' and use plural 'things'.

× You can just think all of uh.

✓ You can just think about things.

Fragment and wrong structure. 'Think all of' is incorrect; use 'think about things'. Keep verb form and preposition correct.

× I went to the park, which is near my house.

✓ I went to the park, which is near my house.

This sentence is grammatically correct. It uses past tense 'went' appropriately to describe a past action.

× It's very close to my house. You can walk, but you you can walk to go there and it's very enjoyable because I got, I went there with my friends and I like, I like walked with my.

✓ It's very close to my house; you can walk there, and it's very enjoyable because I went there with my friends and I liked walking with them.

Run-on and repeated words ('you you'), incorrect verb forms ('I got, I went' and 'I like walked') and missing object ('with my' should be 'with them' or 'with my friends'). Corrections: remove repetitions, use 'you can walk there', use past tense 'I went' and 'I liked walking with them'. Suggestion: simplify the sentence into clear clauses, maintain past tense consistency, and use correct pronouns.