Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 응답이 질문에 직접적으로 대답하고 있으나 반복과 문법 오류가 많고 문장이 자연스럽지 않습니다. 아래를 개선하세요: 1) 불필요한 중복(예: "I, I, I")을 제거하세요. 2) 시제와 동사 선택을 정확히 하세요(예: "work all night"는 문맥상 맞지 않음). 3) 명확한 토픽 문장으로 시작하고 추가 정보는 한두 문장으로 제한하세요. 4) 연결어(예: "but", "however", "recently")를 적절히 사용해 흐름을 매끄럽게 하세요.

例: Yes, I walk quite a lot. I usually walk to university every day, although recently I haven't been walking as much because I've had a heavier schedule.

提案: 내용은 적절하지만 반복과 문법 오류(관사, 어순, 동사 형태)가 많습니다. 개선 포인트: 1) 관사와 시제 오류 수정(예: "when I was a child"). 2) 같은 표현 반복을 피하고 한 문장에 아이디어를 정리하세요. 3) 구체적 세부사항(어떤 활동을 했는지)으로 풍부하게 만드세요.

例: Yes, when I was a child I was very active, so I used to go to the park every morning to run and play games with my friends.

提案: 답변이 핵심을 전달하지만 반복과 어순 문제, 부정확한 표현(예: "get many stress environment")이 있습니다. 개선 방법: 1) 반복을 피하고 간결하게 진술하세요. 2) 더 구체적인 이유나 예시(예: 신선한 공기, 운동, 자연 경관)를 추가하세요. 3) 연결어를 사용해 문장 흐름을 자연스럽게 만드세요.

例: I think people walk in parks to relieve stress because being in nature and getting some fresh air and light exercise helps them relax.

提案: 문법과 어휘 선택(예: "very wrong")에서 큰 오류가 있고 중복이 많아 의미 전달이 불명확합니다. 개선 포인트: 1) 가정문 형식을 정확히 사용하세요(If I had the chance, I would...). 2) 장소를 묘사할 때 적절한 형용사를 사용하세요(beautiful, peaceful 등). 3) 중복을 제거하고 이유를 구체적으로 설명하세요.

例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk in the park near my house because it is very beautiful and peaceful, with many trees and a lake.

提案: 시제 표현과 어순이 어색하고 의미가 불분명합니다(예: "see the nice century", "biggest top"). 개선 포인트: 1) 시간 표현은 "a month ago"로 간단히 표현하세요. 2) 문법적 구조를 정리하고 불필요한 반복을 제거하세요. 3) 구체적이고 정확한 묘사를 사용하세요(무엇을 봤는지, 무엇이 큰지 등).

例: A month ago I went for a walk in the park near my house because it is beautiful; I enjoyed the views of the lake and the tall trees.

× Yes, I use I usually, I usually work all night.

✓ Yes, I usually work all night.

The student placed 'usually' incorrectly and added extra words ('use I'). Remove 'use I' and place 'usually' before the main verb 'work' for correct adverb placement: 'I usually work all night.' Suggestion: Put frequency adverbs (always, usually, often) before the main verb and avoid redundant words.

× I, I, I go to university on foot every day.

✓ I walk to university on foot every day.

The verb 'go' is grammatically possible but repetitive phrasing is awkward. Use a more natural verb 'walk' with 'I' subject. No third-person singular change is needed for 'I', but clarity improves by using 'walk.' Suggestion: Use concise verbs and avoid repetition.

× But recently I haven't, I haven't been working much.

✓ But recently I haven't been working much.

The student split the auxiliary and repeated phrases. Combine them to form the present perfect continuous 'haven't been working' to show ongoing reduced activity. Suggestion: Keep auxiliary verbs together: 'I haven't been working much.'

× Yes, when I was child, I was very active, active person.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I was a very active person.

Missing indefinite articles 'a' before 'child' and before 'very active person'. In English, singular countable nouns typically need a/an. Suggestion: Use 'a' with singular countable nouns: 'a child', 'a person'.

× So and I, I like, I like go to park.

✓ So I like going to the park.

After 'like' followed by a general activity, use the gerund 'going'. Also use the definite article 'the' with 'park' when referring to a specific or familiar park. Suggestion: Use 'like' + gerund for habitual activities and include appropriate articles.

× I like to go to park.

✓ I like to go to the park.

When referring to a specific or local park, use the definite article 'the'. Suggestion: Use 'the park' for a particular park near you.

× So every morning I went to go, I went to park every day.

✓ So every morning I went to the park every day.

Redundant 'went to go' should be simplified to 'went' and include 'the' before 'park'. Maintain past tense 'went'. Suggestion: Avoid redundant verbs; use 'went to the park'.

× I think that when people go, when people go to park, people can people can relieve their stress.

✓ I think that when people go to the park, they can relieve their stress.

Use 'the park' for a specific place and avoid repeating 'people can'. Replace repeated 'people' with pronoun 'they' for naturalness. Suggestion: Use pronouns to avoid repetition and include articles.

× And nowadays and we, we are umm get many stress environment.

✓ And nowadays we are in a very stressful environment and get a lot of stress.

Original lacks correct preposition 'in' and wrong noun/adjective forms. 'Stressful environment' is correct adjective+noun; 'get a lot of stress' expresses experiencing stress. Suggestion: Use 'in a stressful environment' and 'get a lot of stress' or 'experience a lot of stress.'

× Umm if if I had the chance I want to go and park the near my my place because umm my my park the near house is very beautiful and very wrong so I want to go.

✓ If I had the chance, I would like to go to the park near my place because the park near my house is very beautiful.

In a hypothetical conditional (if I had the chance), use 'would' + base verb: 'I would like'. Use 'to the park' and 'near my place/house' with correct word order. 'Very wrong' is incorrect; likely meant 'very green' or 'very nice' so simplified to 'very beautiful.' Suggestion: Use second conditional structure 'If I had..., I would...' and correct word order for locations.

× Before 1 month ago I went to go park the near my house because it's a very beautiful and nice and we we can we can see the nice umm century and we have a very biggest top.

✓ One month ago I went to the park near my house because it is very beautiful and nice. We could see many century-old trees and there is a big hill/top.

Avoid 'Before 1 month ago' and use 'One month ago'. Remove 'went to go' redundancy and use 'the park near my house.' Use past tense or present as appropriate: 'went' for the visit. The original 'nice century' likely means 'century-old trees'; 'very biggest top' is ungrammatical—rephrase to 'a big hill' or 'the highest point.' Suggestion: Use 'One month ago', avoid redundant verbs, and choose clear nouns ('century-old trees', 'a big hill').