Reading— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct small grammar slips. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy (e.g. "so that I can").

例: Yes, I enjoy reading because it helps me relax and gives me time to myself. For example, when I read fiction I imagine being a main character, which lets me explore different lifestyles and perspectives.

提案: Fix grammar and phrasing, use linking words to make reasons clear, and be specific. Replace awkward phrases ("walk in front of a computer") and avoid repetition.

例: I prefer reading on paper because it is less tiring for my eyes. For instance, after spending all day working at a computer, reading a printed book gives my eyes a welcome break.

提案: Use formal language (avoid "'cause") and improve sentence structure. Begin with a clear contrast using linking words and give a specific example of documents you check. Ensure verb forms and collocations are correct (e.g. "skim things" or "go through them").

例: At work I need to read carefully because I check clients' supporting documents, such as contracts and reports, to ensure accuracy. In contrast, during my free time I usually skim articles or novels to get the general idea.

提案: Clarify and correct grammar mistakes, use linking words for contrast, and avoid unclear phrases ("doing the resting"). Be specific about what you scan and what you read in detail.

例: It depends: I usually scan news or blogs in my free time to relax, but at work I read emails and reports in detail to avoid mistakes and fulfil my responsibilities.

× Yes, I like reading because it makes me calm and I can have some time to focus on my own thing.

✓ Yes, I like reading because it calms me and allows me to have some time to focus on my own things.

'Makes me calm' is grammatical but 'calms me' is more natural; 'I can have some time' -> 'allows me to have some time' is clearer; 'my own thing' should be plural 'my own things' or 'my own thoughts' depending on meaning. Suggest using 'calms me' and 'focus on my own things' or 'focus on my own thoughts' for natural English.

× I can imagine I'm one of the main characters of the story and so that I can experience different life.

✓ I can imagine I'm one of the main characters of the story so I can experience different lives.

The phrase 'and so that I can' is unneeded and makes the sentence awkward. Use 'so I can' to show purpose. 'Different life' should be plural 'different lives' to match count. Suggest simplifying the connector and pluralizing 'life'.

× It is because I feel read on paper does not hurt your eyes.

✓ It's because I feel reading on paper does not hurt your eyes.

Use the gerund 'reading' after 'feel' to refer to the activity. 'Read on paper' is base verb and incorrect here. Also 'It is' can be contracted to 'It's' for natural speech. Suggest 'I feel reading on paper does not hurt your eyes.'

× Especially when you have to walk in front of a computer for whole day after work, you really want to just get some rest for your eyes.

✓ Especially when you have to sit in front of a computer for the whole day after work, you really want to give your eyes a rest.

'Walk in front of a computer' is incorrect; use 'sit in front of a computer.' Include the article 'the' before 'whole day.' 'Get some rest for your eyes' is awkward; use 'give your eyes a rest' or 'rest your eyes.' Suggest these collocations for natural English.

× During work I have to read carefully 'cause I need to read the supporting documents from my client.

✓ During work I have to read carefully because I need to read the supporting documents from my clients.

'Cause' is informal; use 'because' in test context. 'Client' may be singular or plural; if you mean multiple clients, use 'clients.' Also sentence repeats 'read' but it's acceptable. Suggest using 'because' and 'clients' if plural.

× I need to make sure they are correct so I can be responsible to my client.

✓ I need to make sure they are correct so I can be responsible to my client.

If 'they' refers to 'documents' (plural), 'are' is correct. However, 'responsible to my client' is awkward; more natural is 'be responsible for my client' or 'be responsible to my clients' depending on plurality. This suggestion preserves verb agreement and recommends adjusting the preposition to 'for'.

× However, at my leisure time I'd rather like go through things.

✓ However, in my leisure time I'd rather just go through things.

Use 'in my leisure time' not 'at my leisure time.' 'I'd rather like go' is incorrect: use 'I'd rather just go' or 'I'd like to go.' Suggest 'I'd rather just go through things.'

× Well it depends. I prefer scanning when I during my leisure time because that's how I get relaxed.

✓ Well, it depends. I prefer scanning during my leisure time because that's how I relax.

Remove the extra 'I' before 'during.' Use 'that's how I relax' rather than 'get relaxed' for natural phrasing. Also add a comma after 'Well.' Suggest 'I prefer scanning during my leisure time because that's how I relax.'

× However, when I am at all work I have to read things very detailed to make sure I'm doing the resting and be responsible to my client.

✓ However, when I am at work I have to read things very carefully to make sure I'm doing the right checks and being responsible to my client.

'At all work' is incorrect; use 'at work.' 'Very detailed' should be the adverb 'very carefully' or 'in great detail.' 'Doing the resting' is incorrect; likely intended 'doing the right checks' or 'doing the necessary checks.' Also change parallel structure to 'being responsible.' Suggest these corrections for clarity and grammatical accuracy.