Reading— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce repetition, correct grammar, and make answers more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler phrases and repeated words (e.g., “skills” twice, “I I'm”, “hobby to play”).

例: Yes, I do. Reading is one of my favorite pastimes because it improves my thinking and helps me relax. For example, when I have free time I often read short stories or essays to unwind and stimulate my mind.

提案: Be more precise and correct awkward phrases; remove fillers like “well” and “umm.” Use linking words to justify your preference and give a brief example. Improve vocabulary accuracy (e.g., “clear to read,” “easier to concentrate”).

例: I prefer reading on paper because it is easier on my eyes and helps me concentrate better. For instance, when I study textbooks on paper I can annotate and flip pages quickly, which aids my understanding.

提案: Good structure and contrast. Improve fluency by removing redundant words and using linking phrases like “on the other hand.” Add a specific example to support the explanation and tighten grammar (e.g., “I don't focus that much” → “I read casually”).

例: It depends on the purpose. If I’m studying for an exam or working on an important project, I read very carefully to understand every detail. On the other hand, when I read for pleasure I read casually to enjoy the story without analyzing it.

提案: Remove fillers and colloquial contractions (“wanna”), and use clearer vocabulary and grammar. Give a concise topic sentence, then a specific reason and brief example. Avoid vague phrases like “what lies underneath.”

例: I prefer detailed reading because I like to understand ideas thoroughly. For example, when I read articles I take notes and reflect on the arguments rather than just skimming them.

× Reading is one of my favorite activity when I I'm free and I need a hobby to play.

✓ Reading is one of my favorite activities when I am free and need a hobby to pass the time.

The noun 'activity' should be plural after 'one of my' (Singular and plural issue). Also 'I'm' duplicated and 'play' is unnatural here; 'pass the time' is a clearer collocation.

× I believe reading is one of the amazing habits that one can add up in their schedules to enhance their thinking skills and cognitive skills.

✓ I believe reading is one of the amazing habits that one can add to his or her schedule to enhance thinking and cognitive skills.

The sentence mixes the impersonal 'one' with the plural pronoun 'their' (Incorrect use of pronouns). Use 'his or her' to agree with 'one', or rephrase to use 'people' and 'their'. Also 'add up in' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'add to'. Redundant 'skills' removed for conciseness.

× Well, I personally prefer to read on a paper as it's more clear to say on a paper and we can help our eyes to get a good umm concentration when it's on the paper.

✓ Well, I personally prefer to read on paper because it's clearer on paper and it is easier on the eyes to concentrate when reading from paper.

'On a paper' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'on paper' (Incorrect use of prepositions). 'To say on a paper' is unclear; use 'clearer on paper'. 'Help our eyes to get a good concentration' is awkward—use 'easier on the eyes to concentrate'.

× Also we can explore more on a paper.

✓ Also we can explore more on paper.

Again, 'on a paper' is incorrect; use the uncountable 'paper' when referring to the medium in general (Singular and plural issue/Incorrect use of prepositions). This fixes natural collocation.

× If I'm studying and if I'm going through an important project, I definitely have to read very carefully.

✓ If I am studying or working on an important project, I definitely have to read very carefully.

Using 'if' twice is redundant and 'going through an important project' is awkward; 'working on' is more natural. Tense remains present; change improves clarity (Present tense issue/ Sentence structure errors).

× But when it's my hobby time and I'm just relaxing and just wanted to know the story, I don't focus that much.

✓ But when it's my hobby time and I'm just relaxing and just want to know the story, I don't focus that much.

The clause mixes present ('I'm') with past form 'wanted'; maintain present tense 'want' for consistency (Present tense issue).

× I just read a bit casually that time.

✓ I just read more casually at that time.

Word order and preposition are awkward; use 'more casually' and 'at that time' for natural English (Sentence structure errors).

× Umm to answer this I wanna explain that I am a kind of person who likes to go in deep detailing and know what lies underneath.

✓ Um, to answer this I want to explain that I am the kind of person who likes to go into deep detail and know what lies underneath.

'Wanna' is informal; use 'want to'. 'Go in deep detailing' is ungrammatical—use 'go into deep detail' or 'go into detail' (Verb + -ing form / Sentence structure errors). Also 'a kind of' better as 'the kind of' here.

× So I would say I'm just a person who love detail reading but not scanning as I feel if you're doing something there should be a meaning to that and we should learn.

✓ So I would say I'm just a person who loves detailed reading rather than scanning, because I feel that if you are doing something there should be meaning in it and we should learn from it.

Subject-verb agreement 'love' should be 'loves' (this is a Subject-verb agreement but mapped to Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs because 'detail' should be adjective 'detailed'). 'Detail reading' is incorrect; use 'detailed reading' or 'reading in detail'. Also improve conjunctions and clarity: 'rather than' is better than 'but not'.