Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more concise and fluent. Start with a clear topic sentence, group similar hobbies, use linking words, correct tenses and phrasing (e.g., “when I was older” not “when I'm old”), and avoid filler sounds. Limit to 3–4 short sentences.

例: Yes, I have several hobbies. Many date back to my childhood, such as drawing, skating and reading, while I took up electronics and coding more recently. I enjoy drawing because it lets me be creative, and I study coding to solve practical problems.

提案: Avoid hesitations and correct grammatical errors. Use a clear past-tense narrative and concise supporting details. Replace fillers with brief pauses and use linking words (e.g., "however", "but") to connect ideas. Keep to maximum five sentences.

例: Yes. When I was a child I enjoyed reading stories and drawing and painting, both at school and at home. However, I focused more on academics and had less time for hobbies. As I grew older, I made a conscious effort to practice my hobbies more regularly.

提案: Good direct response, but make it slightly more fluent and add a specific detail about how you continue the hobby now. Use one linking phrase to expand briefly and avoid repeating “used to”.

例: Yes, I have drawn since childhood. I was particularly interested in fashion and often sketched dresses and clothing designs. Even now I still draw regularly to relax and to develop new ideas.

提案: Be more concise and use clearer reasons with correct grammar. Avoid repetition and unfinished sentences. Provide one or two specific examples of differing hobbies and finish with a concluding sentence. Use linking words like "because" and "for example".

例: Not really. My family and I have different personalities, so our hobbies differ. For example, my parents enjoy gardening and cooking, while I prefer drawing and electronics. As a result, we usually spend free time separately on our own interests.

× Yes, I have many hobbies, most of them are from my childhood like drawing and skating and reading and some of them are I started them when I'm old like electronics and coding.

✓ Yes, I have many hobbies. Most of them are from my childhood, like drawing, skating, and reading, and some I started when I was older, like electronics and coding.

Run-on sentence and incorrect singular/plural or verb tense: 'some of them are I started them when I'm old' is ungrammatical. Change to 'some I started when I was older' to remove redundancy and use correct past tense 'was' for a past time reference. Add commas and split into two sentences for clarity.

× Yes, I had many hobbies when I was a kid, like reading stories, drawing and painting, uh, inside and outside my school classes.

✓ Yes, I had many hobbies when I was a kid, like reading stories, drawing, and painting, both inside and outside my school classes.

Use of 'inside and outside my school classes' is awkward; replace with 'both inside and outside my school classes' for clarity. Maintain past tense 'had' which is correct.

× Even though I was more of academics, uh, kid, I didn't really have many time for my hobbies, but I, uh, I, I just when I grow up, I decided to umm, precise more.

✓ Even though I was more of an academic kid, I didn't really have much time for my hobbies, but when I grew up, I decided to focus on them more.

Multiple issues: incorrect noun form 'academics' should be 'academic'; 'many time' should be 'much time'; tense inconsistency 'when I grow up' should be past 'when I grew up'; 'precise more' is incorrect word choice—use 'focus on them more'. Remove filler words and repeated pronouns for clarity.

× Yes, I have a hobby since my childhood, which is drawing.

✓ Yes, I have had a hobby since my childhood: drawing.

Time expression 'since my childhood' requires present perfect 'have had' to show a continuing state from past to present. Rephrase for naturalness and brevity.

× I used to be very into fashion, so I used to draw dresses and clothes and I really like that hobby.

✓ I used to be very into fashion, so I used to draw dresses and clothes, and I really liked that hobby.

Mixing past habitual 'used to' with present 'like' is inconsistent. Change 'like' to past 'liked' to keep consistent past reference about childhood interest.

× Not really, I don't think I share any same hobbies with my family members because I think we don't have same personalities, we don't have same interests so we spend our time in different thing.

✓ Not really. I don't think I share the same hobbies with my family members because we don't have the same personalities or interests, so we spend our time on different things.

Pronoun and article issues: add 'the' before 'same hobbies' and 'same personalities'; use 'or' to connect personalities and interests; 'in different thing' is incorrect—use 'on different things'. Also split into shorter sentences for clarity.

× Maybe we share that share like similar interests and.

✓ Maybe we share similar interests.

Fragment and repetition: 'share that share like' is redundant and ungrammatical; remove extra words and complete the sentence. Use plural 'interests' correctly.