Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is natural and relevant, but it is slightly repetitive and has some informal fillers (“I mean”) and a small pronoun awkwardness (“people you know”). To improve, make the response more concise, remove fillers, use one or two specific examples, and include a linking phrase to structure supporting details. Keep to 3–4 sentences and vary vocabulary (e.g., “portraits,” “street scenes”).

例: I enjoy several hobbies, but my favorite is photography. I often take my camera to parks or city streets to shoot landscapes, portraits and street scenes. For example, last weekend I photographed a festival and captured candid expressions that told vivid stories.

提案: Good content and personal detail, but the answer is a bit long-winded, contains repetition, a grammatical tense inconsistency, and an unfinished sentence at the end. Improve by starting with a clear topic sentence, using past tense consistently, removing redundancies, and finishing the example cleanly. Aim for 2–3 supporting details and one clear example.

例: Yes. I was interested in acting as a child and I joined classes when I was seven or eight. I loved reading acting books and used to rehearse characters in front of the mirror for hours, which helped me learn expressions and gestures.

提案: The answer conveys strong feeling but has grammatical errors (double ‘I’, incorrect verb forms like “have always been loved with”), awkward phrasing, and is somewhat repetitive. To improve, correct grammar (use simple past or present perfect appropriately), be concise, and add a brief reason or result. Use linking words like “because” or “so” to clarify why it remains a passion.

例: Yes. I have been passionate about acting since I was nine because I enjoy performing for audiences and working in front of the camera. As a result, I continue to take part in productions and study performance techniques.

提案: Your answer is honest and gives a clear contrast, but contains grammatical mistakes, awkward comparisons, and an unfinished ending. Improve by using correct comparative structures, removing informal idioms if unnecessary, and finishing the thought with a clear example of differing hobbies. Use one linking phrase (e.g., “however,” “while”) to show contrast.

例: Not really. While my family prefers spontaneous leisure activities like social outings and sports, I prefer planned hobbies such as photography and acting classes. For example, they often go out for impromptu dinners, whereas I schedule workshops and photo trips in advance.

× I love to just grab my camera and go out, take pictures of different subjects like nature, landscapes, cityscapes, or people.

✓ I love to just grab my camera and go out, taking pictures of different subjects like nature, landscapes, cityscapes, or people.

After 'go out,' using a present participle (-ing) form ('taking') makes the sequence of actions sound natural and grammatically parallel. Using the base form 'take' creates a non-parallel structure. Suggestion: use 'taking' to keep verbs coordinated in the sequence.

× I mean, especially people you know.

✓ I mean, especially people, you know.

The sentence lacks appropriate punctuation and conversational tag 'you know' should be set off with commas. This is not strictly a grammatical pronoun error but clearer punctuation improves meaning. Suggestion: add a comma before 'you know' to mark the spoken parenthetical phrase.

× Definitely, I remember I was interested in acting and I joined acting classes when I was 7 or 8 years old and ever since then I have been in love with performing and reading acting books.

✓ Definitely, I remember I was interested in acting and I joined acting classes when I was 7 or 8 years old, and ever since then I have been in love with performing and reading books about acting.

The sequence mixes past simple ('joined') and present perfect ('have been') correctly, but 'reading acting books' is awkward. Use 'books about acting' for natural noun phrase order. Also add a comma before 'and' to separate clauses. Suggestion: rearrange the noun phrase and punctuate clauses clearly.

× For example, I remember I would play characters in front of mirror for hours without getting tired or.

✓ For example, I remember I would play characters in front of a mirror for hours without getting tired.

The sentence misses the article 'a' before 'mirror' (article error) and ends with an incomplete phrase 'or.' Removing 'or' completes the sentence. Suggestion: include the indefinite article 'a' and remove the trailing 'or'.

× Yes, I I have been interested in acting since I was nine years old and I have always been loved with performing in front of others and especially in front of camera and I believe this is something which I can call the passion of my life.

✓ Yes, I have been interested in acting since I was nine years old and I have always loved performing in front of others, especially in front of the camera, and I believe this is something I can call the passion of my life.

Remove duplicate 'I'. Use correct verb form 'have always loved' instead of passive 'have always been loved with'. Add definite article 'the' before 'camera'. Streamline 'which I can call' to 'I can call'. Suggestion: use active verb forms, correct articles, and remove redundancies.

× To be honest, not really, I'm the black sheep in our family and my family are really different.

✓ To be honest, not really. I'm the black sheep in our family and my family is really different.

Collective noun 'family' is treated as singular in this context, so use 'is' not 'are'. Also split into two sentences for clarity. Suggestion: match verb to singular subject 'family' and use punctuation to separate ideas.

× They have different preference than compared to me.

✓ They have different preferences compared to me.

Use plural 'preferences' to match 'they' and remove redundant words 'than' and 'compared to' together. Either 'different from me' or 'compared to me' is correct; 'different preferences compared to me' is concise. Suggestion: use plural for countable noun and avoid redundant comparative phrases.

× They believe that we should enjoy our life in the moment whereas I believe I have to plan my future ahead.

✓ They believe that we should enjoy life in the moment, whereas I believe I have to plan my future ahead.

Use 'life' without 'our' for general statement and place a comma before 'whereas' to join contrasting clauses. 'Plan my future ahead' is redundant—'plan my future' is sufficient. Suggestion: remove unnecessary possessive and redundancy, and add comma before contrasting conjunction.

× So it all reflects in our form of hobbies as.

✓ So it all is reflected in the kinds of hobbies we have.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and ends with 'as' incorrectly. Rephrase to 'is reflected in the kinds of hobbies we have' for clear subject-verb structure and natural noun phrase. Suggestion: reword to express reflection of differences in hobbies.