Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (umm), and correct verb forms and articles. Expand briefly with one specific detail and use a linking word if needed.

例: Yes, I have a hobby. I love painting because it helps me relax after a busy day. For example, I often paint landscapes on weekends, which lets me focus and forget about stress.

提案: Use correct tense and eliminate repetition. Start with a direct topic sentence in past tense, then give one or two specific supporting details with linking words and accurate grammar.

例: Yes, I enjoyed swimming when I was a child. I took regular swimming lessons and practiced every week, which strengthened my muscles and also helped me relax and clear my mind.

提案: Avoid fillers and correct verb forms. Begin with a clear statement that the hobby continues, then give a specific routine or example. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and finish the last sentence fully.

例: Yes, I still swim regularly, as I have since childhood. I usually go swimming at least twice a week, and on weekends I visit the local pool or the beach to practice for an hour.

提案: Clarify meaning and correct word choice and grammar. Use a clear topic sentence, then contrast your preferences with a family member using linking words (however, whereas). Use correct vocabulary (leisure time, prefer, forte) and complete sentences.

例: Not really; we have different interests. For example, my sister prefers reading and academic activities, whereas I prefer sports like swimming and painting, so I spend my leisure time practicing those hobbies.

× Of course I do, I really love painting umm and it's really makes me relax.

✓ Of course I do, I really love painting, and it really makes me relax.

The original sentence mixes 'it's really makes' which incorrectly combines the contraction 'it is' with the third-person singular verb 'makes'. Use either 'it's really relaxing' or 'it really makes me relax'. Corrected version removes the extra 'is' so the subject 'it' correctly pairs with the verb 'makes'. Also add a comma before 'and' for clarity.

× During my childhood, I really enjoy swimming.

✓ During my childhood, I really enjoyed swimming.

The sentence refers to a past time period 'during my childhood', so the verb should be in the past tense. 'Enjoy' (present) is inconsistent; change to 'enjoyed' to match the past context.

× I used to enroll in swimming courses and I really enjoyed that.

✓ I used to enroll in swimming courses, and I really enjoyed them.

The clause is past habitual so 'used to enroll' is correct; however, 'that' is vague and mismatches the plural 'courses'. Replace 'that' with 'them' to agree in number with 'courses'. Also add a comma before 'and'.

× It really helped me growing my muscle and helped me meditate.

✓ It really helped me grow my muscles and helped me to meditate.

After 'helped', use the base form 'grow' (not 'growing'). 'Muscle' should be plural 'muscles' when speaking generally. 'Helped me meditate' is acceptable, but adding 'to' ('helped me to meditate') is also correct and clearer. Thus change 'growing my muscle' to 'grow my muscles'.

× Uh, yes, of course, like I said previously, uh, when I was young, I really enjoy swimming and the hobby actually still keep going up until today.

✓ Uh, yes, of course, like I said previously, when I was young, I really enjoyed swimming and the hobby actually has continued up until today.

The sentence mixes past ('when I was young') with present 'enjoy'. Use past 'enjoyed'. 'Still keep going up until today' is awkward and ungrammatical; use present perfect 'has continued' to indicate an action that began in the past and continues to the present. Also remove filler 'uh' and unnecessary words for clarity.

× So even on the weekend, I always make time to go to the swimming pool or to the ocean just to enjoy the.

✓ So even on the weekend, I always make time to go to the swimming pool or to the ocean just to enjoy myself.

The original sentence ends abruptly with 'enjoy the.' It needs an object. Use 'enjoy myself' to indicate enjoying the activity. Tense 'always make time' is fine. Also 'on the weekend' can be acceptable; 'at the weekend' or 'on weekends' are alternatives.

× Not really, we have different perspective about what we want to do during our laser time.

✓ Not really, we have different perspectives about what we want to do during our leisure time.

'Perspective' should be plural 'perspectives' to match 'we'. 'Laser time' is a typo; correct word is 'leisure time'. Also include 'different perspectives about' is natural phrasing.

× So my sister prefer to read but it's not my Forte so I rather stick to sport and see prefer to stick in academic.

✓ So my sister prefers to read, but it's not my forte, so I prefer to stick to sports and she prefers to focus on academics.

Multiple errors: 'sister prefer' needs third-person singular 'prefers'. 'Forte' is fine but usually lowercase 'forte'. 'I rather stick to sport' is incorrect; use 'I prefer to stick to sports'. 'see prefer' appears to be typo for 'she prefers'. Use 'she prefers to focus on academics' for clarity and correct verb agreement.