Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and expand slightly with a clear topic sentence and a reason or preference. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid absolute phrasing like “No” which sounds abrupt. Keep it under 5 sentences.

例: I don't have a regular hobby at the moment, but I'd really like to take one up. For example, I am interested in photography because I enjoy capturing everyday moments, and I think it would help me relax and be creative.

提案: Provide a direct topic sentence and use linking words to list hobbies more clearly. Correct vocabulary (e.g., "lawn tennis" not "long tennis") and add a brief detail about one hobby to make the answer more specific.

例: Yes, I had several hobbies as a child. For instance, I enjoyed dancing and painting, and I also played badminton and lawn tennis, which helped me stay active and make friends.

提案: Give a direct, complete answer and add a specific example or explanation. Avoid vague phrases like "Guess I have"; instead say what hobby and how long you've kept it, using linking words if you add reasons.

例: Yes, I still enjoy painting, which I have done since I was a child. Over the years I have kept practicing it because it helps me relieve stress and express my ideas visually.

提案: Answer directly and use clearer, grammatically correct descriptions of family hobbies. Use linking words to compare and give a brief specific example of each person’s hobby to show contrast.

例: No, our hobbies are different. For example, my brother loves watching movies and collecting tickets, my father enjoys flying model planes, and my mother likes cooking at home, so each of us pursues our own interests.

× No, I really don't have any hobbies but I would love to have one.

✓ No, I really don't have any hobbies, but I would love to have one.

The original sentence was missing a comma before the coordinating conjunction 'but' joining two independent clauses. Add a comma to improve sentence structure and readability. Suggestion: place a comma before 'but' when linking two full clauses.

× Ah, a childhood.

✓ Oh, my childhood.

'Ah, a childhood' is unnatural and unclear in this context. Use 'Oh, my childhood' to signal the speaker is referring to their childhood. This corrects the sentence structure and makes the phrase idiomatic.

× I had many hobbies like dancing, painting, playing badminton, long tennis.

✓ I had many hobbies like dancing, painting, playing badminton, and playing tennis.

'Long tennis' is incorrect; the intended activity is 'tennis.' Also, maintain parallel structure by using 'playing' before both sports. Use 'and' before the last item in a list for clarity.

× Guess I have.

✓ I guess I do.

The fragment 'Guess I have' is informal and structurally incomplete. 'I guess I do' is a complete sentence that matches the question about having a hobby since childhood and fits conversational tone.

× No, my family members like my brother has a movie to play ticket, my father does flying, my mother is a home cook.

✓ No, my family members have different hobbies: my brother collects movie tickets, my father likes flying, and my mother enjoys cooking at home.

The original sentence has multiple pronoun and verb errors and incorrect collocations. 'Like' was misused, 'my brother has a movie to play ticket' is ungrammatical — likely intended 'collects movie tickets' or 'likes going to the movies.' 'My father does flying' is unnatural; use 'likes flying.' 'My mother is a home cook' is grammatical but 'enjoys cooking at home' is more natural in this context. Use parallel structure and an introductory phrase 'have different hobbies' to clarify meaning.

× So everybody has their own hobbies.

✓ So everyone has their own hobbies.

'Everybody' is acceptable, but in formal correction 'everyone' is slightly more natural; this change is optional. The sentence itself is fine structurally; the adjustment improves register consistency with previous corrections.