Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more natural. Start with a direct topic sentence, name one or two hobbies correctly, give specific details and use linking words. Avoid unclear phrases (e.g. "greeting", "gold exercise") and reduce repetition. Keep to 2–4 sentences and use simple connectors like "and" or "so".

例: I have a few hobbies. I enjoy reading comic books because they help me relax after a busy day, and I also like running with friends two or three times a week to relieve stress.

提案: Make your answer direct and specific. Begin with a clear topic sentence about childhood hobbies, then give one or two concrete examples and explain briefly why you enjoyed them. Remove filler words (umm, like) and correct grammar (use past tense).

例: Yes. When I was a child I loved painting and drawing cartoons. I often spent my free time sketching flowers and characters because it made me feel calm and creative.

提案: Answer the question directly and correct tense and word choice. Start with a clear statement that you have had the hobby since childhood, describe how you practiced it then and now, and explain the benefit. Use linking words like "so" or "now" and avoid incorrect words (e.g. "flew running", "high and sick").

例: Yes, I have. I started running after school when I was a child and used to play active games with my friends. Now I run two or three times a week in the park because it keeps me fit and clears my mind.

提案: Be concise and use correct grammar to compare your hobbies with your family's. Begin with a direct statement, give a brief contrast and a reason, and use linking words like "but" or "however." Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: No, not really. My father prefers cycling, but I'm not good at it, so I prefer running instead because it's easier for me and I enjoy it more.

× I love to spend time with my greeting and comic books and a gold exercise like running with my friends and my colleagues.

✓ I love to spend time with my graphic and comic books and do a good exercise like running with my friends and colleagues.

Original sentence uses 'greeting' and 'a gold exercise' incorrectly. 'Greeting' is likely a misheard word; 'graphic' or 'graphic novels' fits with 'comic books'. 'A gold exercise' is incorrect adjective use; 'good' describes the exercise. Also verb structure needed: 'do a good exercise' or better 'get good exercise' and 'my colleagues' after 'friends' should not have 'my' repeated. Suggestion: replace wrong adjectives with appropriate words and use correct verb phrase 'do/get exercise'. Note: This correction addresses adjective/adverb misuse (type 13) and improves collocation and article use.

× It's helped me to relax and we do some stress.

✓ It helps me to relax and reduces some of my stress.

'It's helped' mixes tenses; context is habitual so present tense 'helps' is correct (see Present tense issue but main problem here is adverb/phrase placement and verb choice). 'We do some stress' is ungrammatical; 'reduce stress' or 'relieve stress' is the correct collocation. Suggestion: use 'helps me to relax' and 'reduces/relieves stress'. This addresses adverb/phrase placement and verb choice (type 20).

× I'm kind of great for work from the busy day.

✓ I'm kind of grateful for a break from a busy day at work.

The phrase 'kind of great for work from the busy day' is incorrect adjective and prepositional use. Likely intended meaning: grateful for a break from busy workdays. Replace 'great' with 'grateful', add 'a break from', and reorder 'at work' or 'from a busy day at work'. This fixes adjective misuse (type 13) and improves sentence clarity.

× Yes I did, I love to paint umm when I have like when I have free time I usually tend to kind of comics, cartoons and flower as well.

✓ Yes I did. I loved to paint. When I had free time I usually enjoyed drawing comics, cartoons and flowers as well.

Talking about childhood requires past tense. Original mixes present tense 'I love' and 'I have' with past context. Use 'loved' and 'had' and choose appropriate verbs: 'enjoyed drawing' or 'painting' and plural 'flowers'. This corrects past tense usage (type 5) and improves verb choice.

× This help me to spend with my free time and heal time too.

✓ This helped me to spend my free time and heal emotionally as well.

Grammar and word choice are incorrect: 'This help' should be past 'This helped' to match context; 'spend with my free time' is wrong collocation — use 'spend my free time'; 'heal time' is meaningless, likely 'heal emotionally' or 'relax'. This addresses quantifier/collocation misuse (type 14) and corrects tense.

× That's why you love running.

✓ That's why I love running.

The pronoun 'you' is incorrect because the student is speaking about themselves; it should be 'I'. This fixes pronoun use (type 12).

× Since I was a child, after school I flew running and learned play high and sick with my friends.

✓ Since I was a child, after school I would run and learned to play hide-and-seek with my friends.

Original has wrong verbs: 'flew running' and 'learned play high and sick' are incorrect. Use past habitual 'would run' or 'I used to run' and correct game name 'hide-and-seek' with 'learned to play'. This fixes past tense errors and incorrect verb forms (type 5 and type 9/10 related).

× But when I grew up I usually like running around like two or three times per week with my friends at park.

✓ But when I grew up I usually liked running around two or three times per week with my friends at the park.

Mixes past 'grew up' with present 'like'. Use past 'liked' to match timeframe. Also article 'the park' is needed. This addresses present/past tense mismatch (type 6) and article error (type 22).

× This helped me to judge.

✓ This helped me to unwind/relieve stress.

'Helped me to judge' is nonsensical in context. The intended meaning is likely that running helped the student relax or judge? Replace with 'unwind' or 'relieve stress' to convey clear meaning. This addresses sentence structure and word choice errors (type 26).

× No, I don't like for my father, he prefer go to cycling but my friends.

✓ No. I don't have the same hobbies as my father; he prefers cycling, but my friends...

Pronoun and structure errors: 'I don't like for my father' is incorrect — should state difference. 'He prefer' needs third person singular 'prefers'; 'go to cycling' is wrong collocation — use 'cycling'. This fixes pronoun use (type 12) and third person singular (type 2).

× However, I'm not good at cycling at all, so therefore I would prefer another activity for for me for instance like running.

✓ However, I'm not good at cycling at all, so I prefer another activity, for instance running.

Redundant 'would' and repetition 'for for me' are incorrect. 'I would prefer' is acceptable but simple present 'I prefer' fits general preference. Remove duplicates and simplify structure. This addresses third person/tense misuse (type 2) and sentence structure (type 26).