Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and clear: state your main hobbies in one clear sentence, avoid fillers (uh, just), correct awkward phrasing ("country studying English" unclear), and give one brief reason or current situation. Use linking words to connect ideas.

例: I have several hobbies: going to the gym, watching movies and studying English. However, because I'm expecting a baby at the moment, I have reduced how much I practise, so I focus on light exercise and reading English articles.

提案: Improve vocabulary accuracy and sentence structure: correct misused words (e.g., "calorie swimming" is incorrect), use a clear topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details with linking words (e.g., "for example").

例: Yes. As a child I took lessons in swimming and piano. For example, I attended swimming classes three times a week and had piano lessons every Saturday, which I enjoyed because my mother chose activities I liked.

提案: Use consistent tense and give precise details: start with a present-tense topic sentence if the hobby continues, avoid exaggerated numbers unless accurate, and link sentences logically (e.g., 'because', 'so').

例: Yes, I do. I have enjoyed playing video games and reading comic books since I was a child. My older sister shared these interests too, so we collected hundreds of comics and often discussed the stories together.

提案: Avoid repetition and improve grammar: use precise pronouns and correct word forms (e.g., 'older sister', 'enjoy them together'), use linking words ('because', 'so', 'therefore') and give one clear example of sharing or discussing hobbies.

例: Yes. My older sister and I have similar hobbies, so we often enjoyed them together. For instance, we would take turns playing the same video games and discuss our favourite comic book characters, which helped us bond.

× My hobbies are going to the gym, watching movies and uh, country studying English.

✓ My hobbies are going to the gym, watching movies, and studying English in the countryside.

The phrase 'country studying English' is incorrect word order and missing the preposition 'in' for location. Use the gerund 'studying' correctly with the prepositional phrase 'in the countryside' to show where the studying happens. Also add commas between list items for clarity.

× So actually I'm expecting a baby now so I don't work hard and uh, just that's why I just.

✓ So actually I'm expecting a baby now, so I am not working hard; that's why I am just resting.

The original mixes tense and fragments. Use continuous present 'I am expecting' and 'I am not working' to match ongoing situation. The sentence 'that's why I just' is incomplete; provide a clear verb 'resting' or similar. Use punctuation to separate clauses.

× Yes, when I was a child I took many lessons such as calorie swimming and piano.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I took many lessons such as swimming and piano.

'Calorie swimming' is incorrect — likely a misheard or wrong word. Remove 'calorie' and keep correct noun 'swimming'. Past tense 'took' is appropriate.

× My mother let me take a lessons that I was interested in so I could enjoy.

✓ My mother let me take lessons that I was interested in, so I could enjoy them.

Use 'lessons' without the indefinite article 'a'. Also add the object pronoun 'them' to complete 'enjoy' and include a comma before 'so' for clarity.

× Yes I do. I enjoyed playing video games and reading comic books.

✓ Yes I do. I enjoy playing video games and reading comic books.

The question asks about a hobby currently held, so use present simple 'enjoy' instead of past 'enjoyed' to indicate ongoing habit.

× My older sister also had the same hobby the so we had more than 40,000 comic books at home.

✓ My older sister also had the same hobby, so we had more than 40 comic books at home.

'The so' is incorrect filler; remove it and add comma before 'so'. Also '40,000' is likely an exaggeration; if intended, keep it, but commonly 'more than 40' is plausible. Keep numerals consistent. If 40,000 was intended, correct punctuation to '40,000'.

× Yes, I mentioned that before, my old sister had the same hobbies as me so we were able to enjoy well the together.

✓ Yes, I mentioned that before. My older sister had the same hobbies as I, so we were able to enjoy them together.

Use 'older' not 'old' for sibling age relative. Use subject pronoun 'I' after comparison 'as' or rephrase 'as me'. Place 'together' after the verb phrase. Include object 'them' for 'enjoy'. 'Enjoy well' is unnatural; remove 'well'.

× We also shared games and comic books that we had and we shared our opinions each other.

✓ We also shared the games and comic books we had, and we shared our opinions with each other.

Add definite article 'the' to refer to specific items, remove redundant 'that'. Use the preposition 'with' in the phrase 'with each other' instead of 'each other' as object without 'with' is incorrect here.