Rules— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more structured and complete. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific details using linking words. Avoid incomplete sentences and redundancy. For example, you can say: "Yes, there are several rules at my school. For instance, students must wear uniforms to promote equality. Additionally, rules prohibit long nails, piercings, and dyed hair to maintain discipline."

例: Yes, there are several rules at my school. For instance, students must wear uniforms to promote equality. Additionally, rules prohibit long nails, piercings, and dyed hair to maintain discipline.

提案: Your answer has good ideas but needs clearer structure and grammar. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid informal language like "gonna". For example, say: "No, I don't think more rules would benefit students. In fact, too many rules might make students feel rebellious. Therefore, rules should be moderate and only necessary ones should be implemented."

例: No, I don't think more rules would benefit students. In fact, too many rules might make students feel rebellious. Therefore, rules should be moderate and only necessary ones should be implemented.

提案: Your answer needs to be more coherent and complete. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid repetition. Also, finish your sentences clearly. For example: "Yes, I had a chemistry teacher in secondary school who was very talented. She explained complex topics clearly, which made it easy for me to understand."

例: Yes, I had a chemistry teacher in secondary school who was very talented. She explained complex topics clearly, which made it easy for me to understand.

× Yes, in schools we have many rules such as we need to wear the uniform to make everyone equal and we cannot have long nails or any like piercings or dyed hair and.

✓ Yes, in schools we have many rules such as needing to wear the uniform to make everyone equal, and we cannot have long nails, piercings, or dyed hair.

The original sentence is a run-on sentence with improper conjunction use and awkward phrasing. The phrase 'such as we need to wear' should be 'such as needing to wear' to fit the sentence structure. Also, 'any like piercings or dyed hair and' is ungrammatical and should be corrected to 'piercings, or dyed hair.' This improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× No, actually I think the more rules they give the more the student gonna tend to get rebellious and feel that they are sophisticated by how many rules we have.

✓ No, actually I think the more rules they give, the more the students tend to get rebellious and feel that they are suppressed by how many rules we have.

The phrase 'the student gonna tend to get' is incorrect. 'Gonna' is informal and not appropriate here; 'students tend to get' is better. Also, 'sophisticated' is the wrong word; the intended meaning is likely 'suppressed' or 'oppressed.' Modal verb 'gonna' should be replaced with 'tend to' for correct modal verb usage.

× So it needs to be moderate.

✓ So, it needs to be moderate.

A comma after 'So' improves sentence flow and clarity. The sentence is short but acceptable; adding the comma is a minor correction for better readability.

× If a rule is not necessary then should not be added.

✓ If a rule is not necessary, then it should not be added.

The sentence is missing the subject 'it' before 'should not be added.' Also, a comma after the conditional clause improves clarity. This correction fixes the sentence structure error.

× Yes, I used to have a chemistry teacher when I was in secondary school.

✓ Yes, I used to have a chemistry teacher when I was in secondary school.

This sentence is correct in past tense usage; no correction needed.

× She was extremely talented in explaining things.

✓ She was extremely talented at explaining things.

The correct preposition with 'talented' is 'at' rather than 'in.' This is a preposition usage issue but also affects sentence structure and meaning.

× I remember even complex topics, she was very good at explaining them that I was understanding them like like that.

✓ I remember that even complex topics, she was very good at explaining them so that I could understand them easily.

The original sentence is a run-on and awkwardly structured. 'I remember even complex topics' is incomplete; adding 'that' clarifies the sentence. 'That I was understanding them like like that' is ungrammatical and unclear; replacing with 'so that I could understand them easily' corrects the sentence structure and meaning.

× It's very easy for me and then.

✓ It was very easy for me to understand.

The original sentence is incomplete and unclear. 'And then' is unnecessary and confusing. Changing to 'It was very easy for me to understand' completes the thought and fits the past tense context.