Rules— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear and relevant, but it can be improved by making the sentences more concise and using linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Also, avoid starting sentences with conjunctions like 'As well as'. Try to use more varied vocabulary and ensure the answer is within 5 sentences.

例: Yes, there are several rules at my school to maintain discipline. For instance, students must wear clean shoes and ironed clothes daily to look professional. Additionally, carrying mobile phones or any restricted items is prohibited to avoid distractions.

提案: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and a bit long. Try to make your point more directly and use linking words to improve coherence. Also, avoid ending sentences abruptly and ensure the answer is complete and within 5 sentences.

例: I think students benefit from rules only if they understand their purpose. When rules are explained clearly, students are more likely to follow them as habits rather than feel forced. Therefore, effective communication about rules is essential for their success.

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and has some grammatical errors. Try to organize your ideas better by starting with a clear topic sentence, followed by specific supporting details connected with linking words. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and ensure sentences are complete and concise.

例: Yes, I have several teachers who perform their duties excellently. Besides teaching their subjects well, they help students solve doubts, maintain discipline, and organize new school activities, which makes learning more engaging.

× As well as there's a rule that nobody can carry their mobile phones or any restricted items to the school.

✓ There is also a rule that nobody can carry their mobile phones or any restricted items to the school.

The phrase 'As well as there's a rule' is incorrect because 'As well as' is not used to start a new sentence or clause in this way. Instead, 'There is also a rule' correctly introduces an additional rule. This correction improves sentence structure and clarity.

× So as long as the rules are being explained to the students as to why they are for the benefit, I feel that.

✓ So as long as the rules are explained to the students and they understand why they are for their benefit, I feel that.

The original sentence uses 'as to why' awkwardly and ends abruptly with 'I feel that.' The correction replaces 'as to why' with 'and they understand why' for clarity and completes the thought. Also, 'are being explained' is simplified to 'are explained' for better tense usage.

× All of the roles just despite teaching are really taken care of, care of them, for example, instead of just being good at teaching their subjects.

✓ All of the roles, besides teaching, are really taken care of; for example, instead of just being good at teaching their subjects,

The original sentence is confusing and contains redundant phrases like 'care of them.' The correction clarifies the meaning by restructuring the sentence and removing redundancy, improving readability and coherence.

× They're also very helpful, uh, in solving the doubts and as well as maintaining the discipline and just planning new activities in the school as well.

✓ They're also very helpful in solving doubts, maintaining discipline, and planning new activities in the school.

The original sentence uses redundant conjunctions 'and as well as' and filler 'uh,' which disrupt the flow. The correction removes redundancy and filler words, using a clear list with commas and 'and' to improve sentence fluency.