Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatically accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler sounds (umm, uh) and repetition.

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes. I usually buy new pairs about twice a year because I shop when I have extra money; sometimes I also buy impulsively if I see something I like.

提案: Use past simple accurately and reduce hesitations. Give a clear sequence: when, what happened, and result. Use linking words (for example, so, because) and correct noun forms.

例: Yes, I bought a pair of shoes online last summer, but they did not match the pictures, so I returned them because the material looked cheap.

提案: Be specific and avoid vague or inconsistent figures. Use correct verb forms and clear examples. State a typical price range and a reason for variation, using linking words like 'sometimes' and 'usually'.

例: It depends, but I usually spend between £50 and £300 on shoes. For everyday sneakers I spend around £50–£80, while designer or formal shoes can cost up to £300.

提案: Give a direct preference and explain with specific examples and linking words. Keep answers concise (max 5 sentences) and avoid fillers and repetition.

例: I prefer both depending on the situation: for formal events I choose fashionable shoes to look smart, but for daily activities I pick comfortable sneakers so I can walk easily and feel relaxed.

× Yes, I do like buying shoes umm I mostly buying them uh twice a year or it's depends how I have money, you know.

✓ Yes, I do like buying shoes. I mostly buy them about twice a year, or it depends on how much money I have, you know.

Original uses 'mostly buying' which is incorrect after 'I mostly'; use base verb 'buy'. 'It's depends' is wrong: 'depends' does not take 'it' plus 's'; say 'it depends'. Also 'how I have money' is incorrect word order and missing quantifier; use 'how much money I have'. Combine into two sentences for clarity.

× So it's a depends on my mood and how money I have.

✓ So it depends on my mood and how much money I have.

The phrase 'a depends' is ungrammatical; 'depends' is used with the dummy pronoun 'it' (it depends). Also 'how money I have' lacks 'much' to quantify uncountable 'money'.

× Yes, I have uh last summer I bought uh one shoes online, but I didn't like it.

✓ Yes, I have. Last summer I bought a pair of shoes online, but I didn't like them.

Mixes present perfect start 'Yes, I have' with past 'last summer I bought' — acceptable but needs punctuation. 'one shoes' is incorrect: use 'a pair of shoes' or 'one shoe'; follow with plural pronoun 'them' for 'shoes'.

× It's not, it's uh, not same in the picture.

✓ It wasn't the same as in the picture.

Use past tense 'wasn't' to match 'bought' and 'the same as' is the correct comparison structure. 'Not same in the picture' is nonstandard word order.

× So I thought it's fake, so I uh return it back.

✓ So I thought it was fake, so I returned it.

Maintain past tense: 'thought' requires 'it was'. 'Return' should be past 'returned'. 'Return it back' is redundant; 'return' already implies 'back'.

× It's depends sometimes I buy from a luxury brand, so it's maybe 300 uh, pound or sometimes bought from Nike or something.

✓ It depends. Sometimes I buy from a luxury brand, so it may be about 300 pounds, or sometimes I buy from Nike or something.

'It's depends' should be 'It depends'. Use modal 'may' for possibility and '300 pounds' plural. Also maintain subject with verb 'I buy' rather than 'bought' for parallel structure.

× It's depends on 10,000, you know it's depends.

✓ It depends on the price; sometimes I might spend as much as 10,000, you know, it depends.

Original is vague and repeats 'it's depends'. Clarify what '10,000' refers to (currency) and use 'as much as' for amounts. Keep 'it depends' correct form.

× I do prefer both of them. Sometimes I need a fashionable shoes for occasions or uh, important day, uh, and sometimes I need a, a comfortable shoes for everyday walking and everyday, uh, uh, hanging, hanging out with my friend.

✓ I prefer both. Sometimes I need fashionable shoes for special occasions or important days, and sometimes I need comfortable shoes for everyday walking and hanging out with my friends.

'I do prefer both of them' is acceptable but simpler 'I prefer both' is natural. 'a fashionable shoes' is wrong: 'shoes' is plural so no 'a'; use 'fashionable shoes' or 'a fashionable pair of shoes'. 'important day' should be plural 'important days' or 'an important day'. 'a comfortable shoes' same issue. 'my friend' likely plural 'friends' if general. Remove repeated fillers and extra commas.