Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Resposta precisa, mas precisa de maior clareza e concisão. Evite repetições (por exemplo, “really” usado várias vezes) e comece com uma frase-tópico direta. Use ligações simples para explicar a razão da frequência e reduza a resposta a no máximo cinco frases. Por exemplo, diga primeiro se gosta de comprar sapatos, depois explique a frequência e o motivo com detalhes específicos (tipo de sapatos, ocasiões) e uma palavra de ligação como “because” ou “so”.

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes. I usually buy them twice a week because I like keeping up with current styles and often need different pairs for work and exercise. However, I try to stick to a budget by choosing sales or cheaper brands. So I rarely buy expensive designer shoes.

提案: Boa ideia principal, mas a resposta é contraditória e pouco organizada. Primeiro afirme claramente se já comprou online, depois explique vantagens e preocupações com exemplos específicos (tamanhos, devoluções). Use conectores como “but”, “however” e “for example” para ligar ideias e mantenha a resposta concisa.

例: Yes, I have bought shoes online, but I am sometimes worried about ordering the wrong size. For example, I once had to return a pair because they were too narrow. However, most sites have easy return policies, so I still find online shopping convenient.

提案: Resposta clara mas com linguagem desajeitada e excesso de palavras. Comece com um valor direto e depois explique a razão com detalhes específicos (tipo de calçado, frequência das compras, orçamento mensal). Evite construções redundantes como “since that I have to” e mantenha 2–4 frases no máximo.

例: I usually spend about $100 to $150 per pair of shoes. I choose that range because I prefer durable, well-made shoes for work and casual use. To save money, I buy during sales or from outlet stores.

提案: Resposta directa, mas repetitiva e vaga. Dê uma frase-tópico clara e depois um ou dois detalhes específicos que justifiquem a preferência (ex.: eventos sociais, autoestima, marca/estilo). Use um conector como “because” para ligar a preferência à razão e considere mencionar ocasiões em que escolheria conforto em vez de moda.

例: I usually prefer fashionable shoes because I like keeping up with trends and dressing smartly for social events. For instance, I often choose stylish sneakers for evenings out, although I opt for comfortable shoes when I know I will walk a lot.

× I'm really conscious that I cannot afford buying something new every time.

✓ I'm really conscious that I cannot afford to buy something new every time.

The verb 'afford' is followed by the infinitive 'to buy', not the gerund 'buying'. Use 'afford to + base verb' to indicate ability to pay. Suggestion: learn verbs followed by infinitive (e.g., afford, decide, plan).

× That's why my frequency is basically twice a week.

✓ That's why I usually buy shoes about twice a week.

The noun 'frequency' is awkward here and 'my frequency is twice a week' is unnatural. Also the verb 'is' with 'frequency' is grammatically fine but better to use a verb phrase matching the action. Rephrase to 'I usually buy ... about twice a week' to clearly express habitual frequency. Suggestion: use natural collocations for frequency (usually, often, about twice a week).

× Yes I have, though I'm very scared of getting the wrong pair of shoes being delivered at my place and it's a very nice and easy experience to purchase those items through the Internet.

✓ Yes I have, though I'm very worried about receiving the wrong pair of shoes, and it is very convenient and easy to buy shoes online.

The original mixes passive and awkward phrasing: 'getting the wrong pair of shoes being delivered at my place' is clumsy. 'Scared' is less natural than 'worried' in this context. Also 'through the Internet' is wordy; 'online' is preferred. Suggestion: use concise expressions and correct passive forms: 'receiving the wrong pair' or 'having the wrong pair delivered'.

× I am very mindful of my current situation with the finances since that I have to be careful when I'm buying new pair of shoes.

✓ I am very mindful of my current financial situation, so I have to be careful when I buy a new pair of shoes.

Problems: 'with the finances' is unnatural; use 'financial situation'. 'Since that I have' is incorrect — use 'so' or 'because' for result/ reason. Also 'when I'm buying new pair' needs article: 'a new pair'. Use simple present 'buy' for habitual action. Suggestion: simplify clause connectors and ensure correct articles with 'pair'.

× So I basically spend maybe around 100 to $150.00 per pair of shoes.

✓ So I basically spend maybe around $100 to $150 per pair of shoes.

Currency should be placed before the number and be consistent: '$100 to $150' not '100 to $150.00' mixed. Avoid unnecessary words like 'maybe' and 'basically' together; keep one. Suggestion: write currency as '$100–$150' or 'between $100 and $150'.

× I usually go for the fashionable shoes.

✓ I usually go for fashionable shoes.

'The fashionable shoes' implies specific shoes; general preference needs no definite article. Remove 'the'. Suggestion: when speaking about categories in general use plural without 'the': 'fashionable shoes'.

× I'm really into being fashionable and have the trending pair of shoes and sneakers and types of clothes.

✓ I'm really into fashion and like having the latest shoes, sneakers, and clothes.

'Being fashionable' is grammatical but 'into fashion' is more idiomatic. 'Have the trending pair' is incorrect: use 'the latest' or 'trendy items' and ensure parallel nouns. 'Types of clothes' is vague; use 'clothes' or 'styles'. Suggestion: prefer idiomatic phrases: 'into fashion', 'the latest shoes'.

× That's why I always go for the fashion one.

✓ That's why I always choose the fashionable option.

'The fashion one' is ungrammatical; use 'the fashionable one' or better 'the fashionable option'. 'Go for' is fine but 'choose' is clearer. Suggestion: use 'option' or 'type' with adjectives: 'the fashionable option'.