Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid fillers and sentence fragments.

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes. I usually buy new pairs a few times a year because I like selecting different colors and styles to match my outfits, and I also pay attention to the shoe shape and design to suit my needs.

提案: Remove hesitations and use a full, logical sentence with a linking word to explain reason. Use correct comparative forms and more precise vocabulary.

例: Yes, I often buy shoes online because they are usually cheaper than in physical stores, and I can compare many options and read reviews before I decide.

提案: Give a clear, fluent answer with correct currency and unit, and add brief context (how often or why that range) using a linking phrase.

例: I usually spend between 100 and 500 (local currency) on a pair of shoes, depending on the brand and quality, and I tend to buy higher-priced shoes if I need them to last longer.

提案: Answer directly and use a linking word to give a clear reason with a specific example. Reduce repetitions and correct grammar (subject-verb and adjective use).

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because even if fashionable shoes look good, they often hurt my feet; for example, high heels are stylish but I only wear them for short events because they are uncomfortable.

× Yeah, I like buying shoes because. It's fun to choose the new shoes.

✓ Yeah, I like buying shoes because it's fun to choose new shoes.

The original has a sentence fragment 'because.' separated incorrectly and an unnecessary definite article 'the' before 'new shoes'. Combine clauses so 'because' introduces the reason in the same sentence, and remove 'the' for general reference: 'choose new shoes'. (grammar_problem_type_id:26)

× I like to choose the color or the shape or the model.

✓ I like to choose the color, the shape, or the style.

'Model' is uncommon for shoe features; 'style' is more natural. Use commas to separate items in a list. Keeping 'the' is acceptable but optional; using 'the' before each item is consistent. (grammar_problem_type_id:13)

× Yeah, I umm, always would choose online because the. Because because it's more cheap than I buy in offline store.

✓ Yeah, I usually choose to buy online because it's cheaper than buying in a physical store.

Multiple issues: awkward filler words and incorrect modal use 'always would'; replace with 'usually'. 'Because the.' is a fragment. Use comparative adjective 'cheaper' instead of 'more cheap'. Use 'buying in a physical store' or 'a brick-and-mortar store' instead of 'buy in offline store'. Rearranged for natural English. (grammar_problem_type_id:26)

× MMM. I spend on. 100 to 500. The shoes.

✓ I usually spend between 100 and 500 on shoes.

Original is fragmented and word order is wrong. Use 'usually' for frequency, 'spend between X and Y' for range, and place 'on shoes' at the end. Also omit 'the' before 'shoes' when speaking generally. (grammar_problem_type_id:6)

× I prefer comfortable shoes because I I have shoes is more fashionable but it's not comfort when I was using it.

✓ I prefer comfortable shoes because I have shoes that are more fashionable, but they're not comfortable when I wear them.

Problems: duplicate 'I', incorrect clause 'I have shoes is more fashionable' (subject-verb agreement and missing relative clause), wrong adjective 'comfort' used instead of 'comfortable', and incorrect tense 'when I was using it' — use simple present 'when I wear them' for habitual situations. Also match plural pronouns 'they/them' with 'shoes'. (grammar_problem_type_id:12)