Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and fluent: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh, um), and give a specific frequency and short reason. Keep it within 2–3 sentences and use linking words if adding details.

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes and usually buy a new pair about once a month. Over the years I’ve collected more than a hundred pairs because I like trying different styles and quality.

提案: Use correct grammar and clearer structure: begin with a direct answer, then explain briefly why (with a reason) and what you do now. Avoid passive mistakes and reduce fillers.

例: Yes, I have bought shoes online, but the quality was often poor, so now I prefer to buy shoes like boat shoes in physical shops where I can check the fit and material.

提案: Be specific and consistent with numbers and grammar. State a clear price range, then explain briefly why you spend that amount. Use correct singular/plural forms and avoid repetition.

例: I usually spend around CN¥200 to CN¥1000 on a pair of shoes. Occasionally I buy luxury shoes that cost more because I believe they offer better comfort and longer durability.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, then add a concise reason and a short example. Fix grammar (e.g., use full clauses) and avoid trailing off. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes to fashionable ones because I walk a lot for work. If shoes are uncomfortable my feet hurt, so I always choose supportive, well-cushioned footwear.

× I used to like buying shoes, uh, almost, uh, once a month I will buy new shoes, uh, a pair of new shoes.

✓ I used to like buying shoes; almost once a month I would buy a new pair of shoes.

The original mixes past habit 'used to' with 'will' which is inappropriate here. Use 'would' or past-tense phrasing to describe habitual past actions. Also make 'a pair of new shoes' into 'a new pair of shoes' for natural word order. Suggestion: keep verbs consistent when describing past habits (used to/would + base verb).

× Umm, I have made uh, more than 100 shoes.

✓ Umm, I have made more than 100 pairs of shoes.

Count nouns for footwear are usually quantified as 'pairs' rather than 'shoes' when referring to complete items; also 'have made' is acceptable present perfect if you are describing experience up to now. Use 'pairs of shoes' to be precise. If you mean individual shoes, clarify, but typically 'pairs' is correct.

× I have been bought shoes online but the quality is not good uh, after that I choose uh boat shoes, uh, in the shop uh.

✓ I have bought shoes online but the quality was not good, so after that I chose boat shoes in a shop.

'Have been bought' is incorrect passive; the correct active present perfect is 'have bought'. Also the original mixes tenses; use 'was' or 'has not been' to describe quality depending on intended time. 'Choose' should be past 'chose' to match 'after that'. Use 'a shop' or 'the shop' depending on context. Suggestion: use active voice 'I have bought' and keep tense consistent when narrating past events.

× I have been bought shoes online but the quality is not good uh, after that I choose uh boat shoes, uh, in the shop uh.

✓ I have bought shoes online but the quality was not good, so after that I chose boat shoes in a shop.

The phrase 'have been bought' incorrectly uses past participle in a passive construction that is not intended. The correct form is active 'have bought'. This also fixes participle misuse. Ensure you use appropriate active or passive forms intentionally.

× I usually spend CN¥200 or 2000s, two CN¥1000 on a pair of shoes.

✓ I usually spend CN¥200 or CN¥2000, sometimes CN¥1000 on a pair of shoes.

The original is unclear and mixes numbers. '2000s, two CN¥1000' is confusing. Use clear present tense 'usually spend' and consistent currency format, e.g. 'CN¥200 or CN¥2000' or 'CN¥1000' for different price ranges. Make sure amounts match meaning.

× I think, umm, some of them is luxury shoes because I think, uh, they have good quality, uh, it's worth to buy.

✓ I think some of them are luxury shoes because they have good quality; they're worth buying.

Subject-verb agreement error: 'some of them is' should be 'some of them are' (plural). Also 'it's worth to buy' is incorrect; use 'they're worth buying' or 'they are worth the price'. Suggestion: match verb number with plural pronoun and use 'worth' + -ing or 'worth' + noun phrase.

× I prefer comfortable shoes rather than fashionable shoes, uh, because I like to work, I like to walk a lot.

✓ I prefer comfortable shoes to fashionable ones because I walk a lot for work.

'Prefer X rather than Y' is acceptable but 'prefer X to Y' is more common and concise. Also combine and simplify 'I like to work, I like to walk a lot' into 'I walk a lot for work' to express reason clearly in present tense.

× If the shoes not comfortable, I, uh, my foot will get hurt and I.

✓ If the shoes are not comfortable, my feet will get hurt.

The original is ungrammatical: missing auxiliary 'are' in the conditional clause and an incomplete final clause 'and I.' Remove the fragment and correct subject agreement: 'shoes are' and plural 'feet' is more natural. Suggestion: use full conditional structure 'If + subject + be (are) + adjective, + result clause'.