Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答は質問に対して直接的ですが、文法の誤りや不自然な表現が見られます。例えば、「after the shoes which I have now became」は意味が不明瞭で、正しくは「after the shoes I have now become worn out」などと表現すべきです。また、回答が少し冗長で、より簡潔にすることが望ましいです。

例: I like buying shoes because it motivates me to go to university. However, I don't buy them often; usually, I buy new shoes only when my current ones are worn out.

提案: 文法ミス（"don't bought"は誤り）や不自然な表現が多く、意味が伝わりにくいです。"try on on online"は重複しており、"prefer buying it at the shops with and"は意味不明です。より正確で自然な表現を心がけ、文を簡潔にまとめることが必要です。

例: I have never bought shoes online because I can't try them on. Therefore, I prefer buying shoes in physical stores.

提案: 文法の誤りと不自然な表現が目立ちます。例えば、「I can afford them in night」は意味が不明瞭です。金額について話す際は、明確で簡潔な表現を使い、理由も具体的に述べると良いでしょう。

例: I usually spend less than a510,000 on shoes because I think anything more expensive is unnecessary for me.

提案: 回答は質問に答えていますが、文法の誤りや不自然な表現（"I always wear it"や"So it's very important uh, part"）があります。より自然で流暢な表現を使い、冗長な部分を削減すると良いでしょう。

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because I wear them to university every day. If they are uncomfortable, I would feel tired, so comfort is very important to me.

× I don't bought shoes online because I can not try on on online, so I prefer buying it at the shops with and.

✓ I haven't bought shoes online because I cannot try them on online, so I prefer buying them at the shops.

The sentence incorrectly uses 'don't bought' which mixes present tense auxiliary 'do' with past tense verb 'bought'. The correct form is present perfect 'haven't bought' to indicate experience up to now. Also, 'can not' should be 'cannot' as one word. 'Try on on online' has a repeated preposition 'on'. 'Buying it' should be 'buying them' to agree with plural 'shoes'. 'With and' is unclear and removed for clarity.

× I don't buy them very often because I usually buy shoes after the shoes which I have now became.

✓ I don't buy them very often because I usually buy shoes after the ones I have now become worn out.

The phrase 'which I have now became' is incorrect because 'became' is past tense and does not fit with 'have'. The correct form is 'have become'. Also, 'shoes which I have now became' is awkward; 'ones I have now become worn out' is clearer. This corrects tense and clarity.

× I don't bought shoes online because I can not try on on online, so I prefer buying it at the shops with and.

✓ I haven't bought shoes online because I cannot try them on online, so I prefer buying them at the shops.

The pronoun 'it' is incorrect when referring to 'shoes' which is plural; 'them' should be used. Also, 'try on on online' repeats 'on' unnecessarily. Correct pronoun use improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× I don't bought shoes online because I can not try on on online, so I prefer buying it at the shops with and.

✓ I haven't bought shoes online because I cannot try them on online, so I prefer buying them at the shops.

The phrase 'try on on online' contains a repeated preposition 'on'. Also, 'with and' is unclear and likely a mistake. Removing the extra 'on' and 'with and' corrects the prepositional errors.

× I usually spend on shoes less than ¥10,000. I think more than ¥10,000 is expensive for the shoes and I can afford them in night.

✓ I usually spend less than ¥10,000 on shoes. I think more than ¥10,000 is expensive for shoes and I cannot afford that at night.

The phrase 'spend on shoes less than ¥10,000' has incorrect word order; 'spend less than ¥10,000 on shoes' is correct. 'The shoes' is unnecessary; 'shoes' is sufficient. 'I can afford them in night' is incorrect; 'cannot afford that at night' is clearer and grammatically correct.

× I usually spend on shoes less than ¥10,000. I think more than ¥10,000 is expensive for the shoes and I can afford them in night.

✓ I usually spend less than ¥10,000 on shoes. I think more than ¥10,000 is expensive for shoes and I cannot afford that at night.

The pronoun 'them' is unclear here; it should refer to 'that' amount of money. Also, 'in night' is incorrect preposition usage; 'at night' is correct.

× I prefer comfortable shoes because I usually wear shoes to go to the university and I always wear it, so if it's not comfortable, I will be tired every day.

✓ I prefer comfortable shoes because I usually wear shoes to go to the university and I always wear them, so if they're not comfortable, I will be tired every day.

The pronoun 'it' is incorrect when referring to 'shoes' which is plural; 'them' should be used. Also, 'it's' should be 'they're' to agree with plural 'shoes'.

× So it's very important uh, part.

✓ So it's a very important part.

The sentence is incomplete and unclear. Adding the article 'a' and removing filler 'uh' clarifies the sentence structure and meaning.