Library— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to use more natural phrasing and avoid redundancy. For example, instead of "I enjoy to learn all kinds of knowledge, all kinds of book," say "I enjoy learning from various books." Also, clarify your ideas with better grammar and structure.

例: I often go to the library because I enjoy learning from various books. This helps me gain knowledge on different topics, which allows me to have interesting conversations in many situations.

提案: Use clearer sentence structures and linking words to connect your ideas. For example, use "and" or "also" to link activities. Avoid repetition and improve vocabulary, such as "expand my knowledge" instead of "improve my mind."

例: In the library, I usually read books on various topics and also search the Internet to find new information related to what I have read. I enjoy this because it helps me expand my knowledge and improve myself.

提案: Focus on clearer sentence construction and avoid awkward phrasing. Use linking words like "because" to explain reasons. For example, "I loved reading because I saw my father reading often."

例: Yes, when I was a kid, I often went to the library with my father because he liked reading. Seeing him read inspired me to love reading as well.

提案: Improve grammar and vocabulary by using correct plural forms and clearer expressions. Use linking words to organize your ideas logically. For example, "Chinese kids often go to the library because they are interested in learning new things, such as history, science, and medicine."

例: Yes, Chinese kids often go to the library because they are interested in learning new things. They read books on different topics, including history, science, and medicine, to improve their knowledge.

× I always go to the library because I enjoy to learn all kinds of knowledge, all kinds of book.

✓ I always go to the library because I enjoy learning all kinds of knowledge and all kinds of books.

The phrase 'all kinds of book' is incorrect because 'book' should be pluralized to 'books' when referring to multiple items. Also, 'enjoy to learn' is incorrect; the verb 'enjoy' should be followed by the gerund form 'learning'.

× I really like this because when I have so much information I can talk to other in different situation, in different parts.

✓ I really like this because when I have so much information I can talk to others in different situations, in different places.

The word 'other' should be 'others' to refer to other people. 'Situation' and 'parts' should be pluralized to 'situations' and 'places' respectively to match the context. Also, 'parts' is better replaced with 'places' for clarity.

× I read books in different topics and search in Internet about different topic and and new information I learned in the book.

✓ I read books on different topics and search the Internet about different topics and new information I learn from the books.

The correct preposition with 'books' is 'on' not 'in'. 'Search in Internet' should be 'search the Internet'. 'Topic' should be plural 'topics' to match 'different'. Also, 'learned' should be 'learn' to maintain present tense consistency.

× I really enjoy when I do this because I improve my mind, improve my self.

✓ I really enjoy doing this because I improve my mind and improve myself.

The phrase 'enjoy when I do this' is better expressed as 'enjoy doing this'. 'My self' should be one word 'myself'. Also, adding 'and' improves sentence flow.

× Yes, When I was a kid, I went to the library with my father because my father is like to read and I love reading because I see my father read this, all of this.

✓ Yes, when I was a kid, I went to the library with my father because my father liked to read and I loved reading because I saw my father read all of this.

The verb 'is like to read' is incorrect; it should be past tense 'liked to read' to match the past context. 'Love' should be 'loved' for past tense consistency. 'See' should be 'saw' to match past tense. 'Read this, all of this' is awkward; 'read all of this' is clearer.

× It's coming to love reading.

✓ That's how I came to love reading.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and unclear. The corrected sentence properly expresses the idea of developing a love for reading in the past.

× Yes they do. All Chinese, Chinese cats go to the library because they are interesting to learn and new things to improve his knowledge and read in different topic.

✓ Yes, they do. All Chinese children go to the library because they are interested in learning new things to improve their knowledge and read on different topics.

'Chinese cats' is incorrect; it should be 'Chinese children'. 'Interesting' should be 'interested' to describe their feelings. 'His knowledge' should be 'their knowledge' to match plural subject. 'Topic' should be plural 'topics'. 'Read in different topic' should be 'read on different topics'.

× Which history? Maybe science, medical.

✓ Such as history, maybe science or medicine.

The phrase 'Which history?' is unclear and ungrammatical. 'Medical' should be 'medicine' to refer to the subject. Using 'such as' introduces examples properly.