Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear and relevant, but it contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect naturalness. Try to use simpler, more natural sentence structures and avoid redundancy. Also, ensure your sentences are complete and coherent. For example, "If I sing songs that are familiar to the other people that our relationship with them will get stronger" is unclear and grammatically incorrect. Try to rephrase it for clarity.

例: Yes, I enjoy singing, especially with others, because it helps us bond. When I sing familiar songs, it strengthens our relationships. Also, singing helps me relieve daily stress and maintain my mental balance. Overall, singing is an essential part of my life.

提案: Your answer has several grammatical mistakes and unclear expressions that reduce clarity and naturalness. For example, "I liked to think" and "I strongly wanted a single well" are confusing. Also, avoid run-on sentences and try to use linking words to connect ideas logically. Practice using simple past tense correctly and clarify your meaning.

例: No, I haven't taken formal singing lessons. However, when I was in high school, I wanted to sing well. So, I practiced by recording my voice and checking if my pitch was correct. In this way, I taught myself and improved my singing skills, so now I can sing confidently.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, "someone that I have something to deliver to" could be more naturally expressed as "someone I want to convey a message to." Also, "sing songs help me deliver my feelings" should be "singing songs helps me express my feelings." Use linking words to improve coherence.

例: I would like to sing for people I want to express my feelings to. For example, at a wedding party, I would sing for the couple. Since I'm not good at giving speeches or expressing emotions directly, singing helps me convey my feelings more effectively.

提案: Your answer is relevant and mostly clear, but there are minor grammatical errors such as "This help us" instead of "This helps us." Also, try to use more varied vocabulary and linking words to make your answer more coherent and natural. For example, use "Furthermore" or "In addition" to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I believe singing brings happiness. As I mentioned, singing with others creates strong connections, which makes people happy. Furthermore, singing helps us forget daily stresses, relieving tension and boosting our mood.

× If I sing songs that are familiar to the other people that our relationship with them will get stronger.

✓ If I sing songs that are familiar to the other people, our relationship with them will get stronger.

The sentence incorrectly uses 'that' as a conjunction connecting two independent clauses. It should be replaced with a comma to correctly join the clauses. Using 'that' here causes confusion and disrupts sentence flow.

× However, I liked to think when I was a high school student and I strongly wanted a single well.

✓ However, I liked to sing when I was a high school student and I strongly wanted a single well.

The verb 'think' is incorrect in this context; the student likely meant 'sing'. Also, 'liked to think' is incorrect for expressing a past habit related to singing. The correct verb 'sing' fits the context of the question about singing.

× So to practice singing, I recorded my voice and checked whether my pitch was correct or not.

✓ So to practice singing, I recorded my voice and checked whether my pitch was correct.

The phrase 'whether my pitch was correct or not' is redundant; 'whether' already implies the alternative. Removing 'or not' makes the sentence clearer and more concise.

× In that sense, I taught by myself.

✓ In that sense, I taught myself.

The reflexive pronoun 'myself' should be used here because the subject and object are the same person. 'Taught by myself' is incorrect; the correct form is 'taught myself'.

× Thanks to this way, I improved my singing skills and I can sing it proudly.

✓ Thanks to this method, I improved my singing skills and I can sing proudly.

The phrase 'Thanks to this way' is awkward; 'method' is more appropriate. Also, 'sing it proudly' is incorrect because 'sing' is intransitive here; 'proudly' should modify the verb directly without 'it'.

× I would like to sing for someone that I have something to deliver to.

✓ I would like to sing for someone to whom I have something to deliver.

The sentence ends with a preposition 'to', which is less formal. Using 'to whom' is grammatically correct and more formal. Also, 'that' should be replaced with 'whom' when referring to people in this context.

× So sometimes sing songs help me deliver my feelings.

✓ So sometimes singing songs helps me deliver my feelings.

The phrase 'sing songs' is incorrect; the gerund 'singing songs' should be used as the subject. Also, the verb should be singular 'helps' to agree with the singular subject 'singing songs'.

× This help us relieve our stress and make us happy.

✓ This helps us relieve our stress and makes us happy.

The subject 'This' is singular, so the verbs should be 'helps' and 'makes' to agree in number. Using plural verbs 'help' and 'make' causes subject-verb disagreement.