Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is good but try to make it more clear and organized. Avoid redundancy and use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly. Also, correct some unclear words and grammar mistakes. For example, instead of 'harveys' you can say 'hobby' or 'activity'.

例: Yes, I love singing because it helps me stay relaxed and reduces my stress. Moreover, I can sing anywhere, even while doing my homework or chores. Singing also helps me express my feelings and emotions, so I really enjoy it.

提案: Try to give a clear and complete answer without repetition. Use linking words to explain your reasons logically. Also, avoid unclear phrases like 'MSI person'.

例: No, I haven't learned how to sing because I feel insecure about my voice. I think it is not good enough, so I cannot sing in front of anyone, not even my family or friends.

提案: Your answer is unclear and has some mistakes. Try to organize your ideas clearly and avoid incomplete sentences. Use linking words to connect your points and check your vocabulary for accuracy.

例: I want to sing for my family and close friends because they are the only ones who support me emotionally. Although I feel shy to sing in front of others, I really want to sing with them.

提案: Try to express your ideas more clearly and avoid incomplete sentences. Use linking words to explain your reasons logically and provide specific examples if possible.

例: Yes, I absolutely think singing can bring happiness to people because it helps them feel relaxed and reduces stress. Also, singing allows people to express their feelings and emotions, which can improve their mood and relationships.

× Yes I love singing because it helps me stay relaxed and it reduces my stress and this is the only harveys I can do everywhere and while doing my homework, while doing different cores and so on and it has me sure my feeling an emotion towards other so I love singing.

✓ Yes, I love singing because it helps me stay relaxed and reduces my stress. It is the only hobby I can do everywhere, even while doing my homework or different chores, and it makes me share my feelings and emotions towards others, so I love singing.

The original sentence contains incorrect word usage such as 'harveys' instead of 'hobby', 'cores' instead of 'chores', and 'has me sure my feeling an emotion towards other' which is unclear and grammatically incorrect. Correcting these improves clarity and grammatical accuracy.

× No, I haven't learned how to sing because. Because of insecurities like I think my voice is not good enough to sing an MSI person so I cannot sing in front of anyone not.

✓ No, I haven't learned how to sing because of insecurities. I think my voice is not good enough to sing as a person, so I cannot sing in front of anyone.

The sentence had incomplete and fragmented parts, such as 'because.' and 'an MSI person' which is unclear. Also, 'not' at the end is misplaced. Correcting these improves sentence structure and clarity.

× Even with my family and friends.

✓ Not even with my family and friends.

The sentence fragment 'Even with my family and friends.' lacks context and is incomplete. Adding 'Not' at the beginning completes the thought and clarifies the meaning.

× I want to sing for my family and my close friend because they are the only one who support me emotionally.

✓ I want to sing for my family and my close friends because they are the only ones who support me emotionally.

The phrase 'close friend' should be plural 'close friends' to match 'they' and 'only one' should be 'only ones' to agree in number with 'they'.

× And. I am with my person so I cannot sing in front of other but I really do want to sing with my friends and my clothes are sorry my fam.

✓ And I am a shy person, so I cannot sing in front of others, but I really do want to sing with my friends and my close family.

The original sentence contains unclear and incorrect pronouns and words such as 'my person', 'other', 'clothes are sorry my fam'. Correcting these to 'a shy person', 'others', and 'close family' clarifies the meaning.

× Yes I absolutely think singing can bring happiness to people because it makes them feel more relaxed and reduces stress.

✓ Yes, I absolutely think singing can bring happiness to people because it makes them feel more relaxed and reduces stress.

Added a comma after 'Yes' for correct punctuation; otherwise, the sentence is grammatically correct.

× Singing is the only thing that helps to so our feeling an emotion to us.

✓ Singing is the only thing that helps us express our feelings and emotions.

The original sentence is unclear and grammatically incorrect. 'Helps to so our feeling an emotion to us' is incorrect usage. Correcting to 'helps us express our feelings and emotions' clarifies the meaning.

× Other so many people can sing and so they're feeling to their partner.

✓ Also, many other people can sing and share their feelings with their partners.

The original sentence is unclear and contains incorrect pronouns and structure. Correcting to 'many other people' and 'share their feelings with their partners' improves clarity and grammar.