Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변이 자연스럽지 않고 문법적 오류가 많으며, 의미 전달이 명확하지 않습니다. 문장을 간결하고 명확하게 구성하고, 불필요한 반복을 피하며, 문법적 정확성을 높여야 합니다.

例: Yes, I like singing because it makes me feel happy. I also enjoy it as a fun activity and it helps me make new friends who share the same interest.

提案: 답변이 문법적으로 부정확하고 문장이 완성되지 않아 의미 전달이 어렵습니다. 명확한 주제 문장과 구체적인 세부사항을 연결어와 함께 자연스럽게 표현하는 연습이 필요합니다.

例: Yes, I have learned how to sing. Although I am not very good, I enjoyed the lessons because I learned how to control my breathing properly while singing.

提案: 답변이 비교적 명확하지만, 연결어 사용과 어휘 선택을 개선하여 더 자연스럽고 풍부한 표현을 사용할 수 있습니다.

例: I want to sing for myself because recently I have been feeling a bit depressed, anxious, and nervous. Singing helps me to relax and reduce my stress.

提案: 답변이 문법적으로 부정확하고 문장이 단절되어 있습니다. 연결어를 사용하여 문장을 자연스럽게 연결하고, 구체적인 이유나 예시를 추가하여 내용을 풍부하게 해야 합니다.

例: Yes, I think singing can bring happiness to people. When we listen to songs, we often feel better and happier, and sometimes we even want to dance because of the joyful mood.

× Ann is for fun.

✓ Singing is for fun.

The original sentence 'Ann is for fun.' is unclear and seems to be a typographical or sentence structure error. The intended meaning is likely 'Singing is for fun.' which correctly conveys the idea that singing is enjoyable. Improving sentence clarity and structure is essential for effective communication.

× Anne through singing I can make.

✓ Through singing, I can make

The sentence 'Anne through singing I can make.' is incomplete and incorrectly structured. It seems the student intended to say 'Through singing, I can make...' but did not finish the sentence properly. Correct sentence structure requires a clear subject and verb arrangement.

× More friends.

✓ more friends.

The phrase 'More friends.' is a sentence fragment lacking a subject and verb. It should be connected to the previous sentence or completed to form a full sentence, e.g., 'I can make more friends.' Fragment sentences reduce clarity and should be avoided.

× Who? Who are so enjoy that.

✓ Who enjoy that.

The sentence 'Who? Who are so enjoy that.' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The correct form is 'Who enjoy that.' or better yet, 'Who enjoy it.' The phrase 'are so enjoy' is incorrect because 'enjoy' is a verb and should not be used with 'are' in this way.

× I have learned how to singing but actually it end of.

✓ I have learned how to sing but actually it ended.

The phrase 'how to singing' is incorrect; after 'how to' the base form of the verb should be used, so 'sing' is correct. Also, 'it end of' is incorrect; the past tense 'ended' should be used to indicate completion. Proper verb forms and tense usage are important for clarity.

× I'm not really good at singing but it was so fun an I have learned how I exhale and inhale an how.

✓ I'm not really good at singing but it was so fun and I have learned how to exhale and inhale and how to do it.

The sentence has missing conjunctions and incorrect verb forms. 'an' should be 'and'. The phrase 'I have learned how I exhale and inhale an how' is incomplete and unclear; it should be 'I have learned how to exhale and inhale and how to do it.' Proper conjunctions and infinitive verb forms improve sentence clarity.

× Can.

✓ (Remove this fragment)

The single word 'Can.' is a sentence fragment and does not convey a complete thought. It should be removed or completed to form a meaningful sentence.

× Nowadays I feel a little bit depressed an very anxious and nervous so I want to sing for myself to reduce my stress.

✓ Nowadays I feel a little bit depressed and very anxious and nervous, so I want to sing for myself to reduce my stress.

The word 'an' is incorrectly used instead of 'and'. Correct conjunctions are necessary to connect ideas properly. Also, a comma before 'so' improves sentence readability.

× Yes, I think singing. Makes people happy and bring happiness to people.

✓ Yes, I think singing makes people happy and brings happiness to people.

The period after 'singing' incorrectly splits the sentence. Also, subject-verb agreement requires 'makes' and 'brings' to match the singular subject 'singing'. Proper sentence punctuation and subject-verb agreement are essential.

× When we hearing some song.

✓ When we hear some songs.

The phrase 'we hearing' is incorrect; the base form 'hear' should be used after 'when'. Also, 'some song' should be plural 'some songs' to be natural. Correct verb tense and pluralization improve sentence correctness.

× Songs then we feel better and happier an eventually we want to dance.

✓ Songs, then we feel better and happier, and eventually we want to dance.

The word 'an' is incorrectly used instead of 'and'. Also, commas improve sentence flow. Correct conjunctions and punctuation are important for clarity.