Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer shows enthusiasm but lacks clarity and contains grammatical errors. Try to structure your response with a clear topic sentence and supporting details, using correct grammar and vocabulary. Avoid redundancy and ensure your sentences are coherent.

例: Yes, I enjoy singing because it helps me relax after a long day at work. For instance, singing allows me to release stress and regain my energy quickly.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains many errors, making it difficult to understand. Focus on directly answering the question with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Use simple, correct sentences and avoid irrelevant information.

例: No, I have never taken singing lessons because I prefer to sing for fun rather than professionally. I enjoy singing in my own way without formal training.

提案: Your response is confusing and lacks coherence. Make sure to answer the question directly with a clear topic sentence, followed by specific supporting details. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

例: I usually sing for myself when I want to relax after work. Sometimes, I also sing for my family to share my happiness with them.

提案: Your answer is difficult to understand due to unclear phrasing and grammar mistakes. Try to express your opinion clearly with supporting reasons, using appropriate vocabulary and linking words.

例: Yes, I believe singing can bring happiness because it allows people to express their emotions and connect with others during enjoyable events.

× Yes, I like singing 'cause it's a way to relax in myself when I came back.

✓ Yes, I like singing because it's a way to relax myself when I come back.

The phrase 'relax in myself' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'relax myself'. Also, 'came back' should be in present tense 'come back' to match the habitual action indicated by 'I like'.

× After work I need to shout out release my pressure so I will choose seeing to get my manage energy back. Faster.

✓ After work, I need to shout out to release my pressure, so I choose singing to manage my energy and get it back faster.

The phrase 'will choose' is incorrect here because the sentence describes a habitual action, so present tense 'choose' is appropriate. 'Seeing' is a misspelling of 'singing'. Also, 'get my manage energy back' is ungrammatical; it should be 'manage my energy and get it back'.

× No, I didn't have a chance to learn how to see it and I don't want to tell my habit into.

✓ No, I haven't had a chance to learn how to sing, and I don't want to change my habit.

'Didn't have' is past tense but the context suggests present perfect 'haven't had' to indicate experience up to now. 'See it' is a misspelling of 'sing'. 'Tell my habit into' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'change my habit'.

× So there is no need for me to learn theein technically.

✓ So there is no need for me to learn it technically.

'Theein' is a misspelling of 'sing'. The preposition 'to' is correctly used here, but the object should be 'it' referring to singing. The sentence is corrected to use 'learn it technically'.

× I prefer to see him on my mind. Follow my mind.

✓ I prefer to sing in my mind, following my mind.

'See him' is a misspelling of 'sing'. The phrase 'on my mind' is better expressed as 'in my mind'. Also, 'Follow my mind' should be 'following my mind' to connect properly with the previous clause.

× While that's a good question.

✓ Well, that's a good question.

'While that's a good question' is a sentence fragment lacking a main verb or complete thought. Replacing 'While' with 'Well' makes it a complete introductory phrase.

× I would say I hope to see him for myself when I need to relax, I will have a chance to.

✓ I would say I hope to sing for myself when I need to relax; I will have a chance to.

'See him' is a misspelling of 'sing'. The sentence is a run-on and should be separated with a semicolon or period. The phrase 'I will have a chance to' is incomplete but acceptable here as it implies 'sing'.

× Ease myself to unwined after a long day of work.

✓ Ease myself to unwind after a long day of work.

'Unwined' is a misspelling of 'unwind'. The preposition 'to' is correctly used here to indicate purpose.

× But also I desire to simple.

✓ But also, I desire simplicity.

'Desire to simple' is ungrammatical; 'simple' is an adjective and cannot follow 'desire to'. The noun 'simplicity' correctly expresses the intended meaning.

× Of course it would be a really enjoyable and memorable.

✓ Of course, it would be really enjoyable and memorable.

The sentence is incomplete; 'a' should be removed because 'enjoyable' and 'memorable' are adjectives, not nouns. Adding a comma after 'Of course' improves clarity.

× Events if someone seems for me so I believe being can definitely bring happiness.

✓ Even if someone sings for me, I believe singing can definitely bring happiness.

'Events' should be 'Even'. 'Seems' is a misspelling of 'sings'. 'Being' should be 'singing' to match the context.

× Two people as it would show in support KNUS and then.

✓ To people, as it would show in support, know us and then.

The sentence is unclear and seems incomplete. 'Two people' should be 'To people'. 'KNUS' is unclear but possibly 'know us'. The sentence needs rephrasing for clarity.

× A way of.

✓ It is a way of expressing support.

'A way of' is a sentence fragment lacking a verb and object. Completing the sentence clarifies the meaning.